Uncomplicated 2.33: Say something

     I start feeling sick. I mean like sick-oh-my-maker-I'm-going-to-throw-up sick. It's so gross! Honestly, I'd rather go back to changing messy diapers than deal with this. Anything but this.
     The worst was when I walked downstairs this morning and Dad was cooking eggs. Just the smell of them sent me running to the bathroom. On my way, I didn't miss Mandi's concerned look.
    I'd rather be up to my elbows in baby poo. I moan and flush the toilet. Then, I sit on the floor because not even my knees will hold me after my sudden realization.
    I'm...no. No, no. It can't be! I don't know WHAT came over me that day the repairman came over. How could I do such a thing? How could I LET happen what happened, especially with someone I'd just met?!
     Lavar has called me every day since then. The last time, I told him I couldn't talk because I was feeling sick. He hasn't asked me again if I'm seeing anyone. Maybe he assumes I broke up with Rashawn.
     Oh, maker! I'm so stupid! I think and let out a sad cry.
     At that moment, my phone rings. How it could ring when I'm in nothing but these pajamas is beyond me, but I still pull my phone out of that strange place where everything goes.
     "Bonnie! Oh, thank heavens. You probably think I dropped off the face of the earth," the voice on the other end of the line says.
     "Rashawn?" I ask. I didn't recognize the number when he'd called.
     He tells me he'll explain everything if I'd just give him a chance. I invite him over.

     "Oh, I've missed you," he breathes and kisses me. He has a lot of gall to kiss me after disappearing like he did, but I'm actually in a panic after my discovery this morning.
     What will he do when he finds out?
     Then, I get another idea:

     Rashawn loves me. I can tell a difference between him and Lavar. With Lavar, it was all physical. Rashawn puts so much emotion into our woohooing that it breaks my heart.
     Later, he explains that his Mom was kidnapped and he'd spent ages helping to get her home. He admits he should've called me and feels like an ass that he didn't. I forgive him. Maybe my forgiving him for this will make it easier for him to forgive me for the incredibly stupid thing I did.

     He says he's happy we're back together. I tell him I'm going to take a small nap, and I cry myself to sleep.

     He's still strutting around the house when I get up, and when I come downstairs, I see Anastasia looking peeved she's had to entertain him.
     "What are you doing?" she asks in a flat voice when she sees I'm in my pajamas.
     "I took a nap," I tell her.

     She whispers, "Shouldn't you go change into something else?"
     I don't answer her. She can't tell me what to do. I used to feed her bottles for plum's sake. Rashawn is so cute. I wish he were the daddy. A very bad idea starts worming its way into my mind.

     I start seeing Rashawn every day now, and Dad is so preoccupied with Mandi that he doesn't notice when Rashawn sleeps over. As far as he knows, Rashawn was here late last night and then came back by early this morning.
     Rashawn and I woohoo a lot. I decline Lavar's calls and don't return them. I want Rashawn to be the daddy. I'm really scared what he'll do when he finds out I'm pregnant.

     Then, I think of my mother. What I want to do to Rashawn is exactly what she did to my dad. I can't do that. That doesn't take away the fear, though.

     "Bonnie... You look a little pale," Rashawn says. I've decided I have to tell him. I can only hope he'll understand. After all, he did pull a disappearing act on me.
     "Because I have something very hard to tell you." My lower lip trembles.

     Loving concern shows in his beautiful eyes as he asks, "What is it? Whatever it is, you can tell me."
     My stomach forms into a lead knot, twisting and turning inside me in a painful way. He's going to hate me. I'm the 'dumb blonde' that got knocked up by a repairman.

     I let out a shaky breath. I can't look at his beautiful eyes right now. "I..." I can't do it. Maybe I should wait, have a few more happy days before he starts hating me.
     "Bonnie, whatever this is, we can get through it," he says so very sweetly.
     He knows. Somehow, he knows or he's guessed.
     I wish it were his.
     "I'm pregnant," I blurt out, and his arms wrap around me in a comforting way. I don't deserve it, and I start crying.
      If only there were the smallest possibility it could be his baby, I could do this, but I know it's not his.
     "Then, like I said, we'll get through this. We aren't the first couple this has happened to," he finishes and rubs my back.
     I let out a loud cry. Yes, I know. That's why I'm HERE instead of having grown up with Donovan Steele. Dad thought I was his, and he'd already bonded with me when Addie told him the truth. I can't do that to Rashawn. I can't lie. I can't keep it from him. I am not HER.
     A shuddering, hiccuping breath goes in and out of me before I pull back and look up into his loving eyes. This is a big deal, and I don't think we CAN survive it.

     While I tell him, I can't control the hiccuping sobs that still manage to escape through my words. "While...you were...dealing with...your mom...being...kidnapped, ...I did something...really stupid. ... I thought... you had... broken up with...me since I...didn't hear...from you...for what felt like...forever." I can't talk anymore due to my crying.
     "Bonnie?" he asks, and I can hear his heart start to break. With that, I let out a louder wail.

     I tell him words that will haunt both of us, probably mostly me, for the rest of our lives. "It's...not...yours."
     His face collapses, and he hides it behind his hands. "No," he whines, probably hoping this is just a nightmare and he'll wake up soon.
     "I'm sorry," I whisper.
     A strange, short noise slips out between his fingers, and he turns, taking a few steps away from me. I want to hold him while he endures this pain I caused, but I doubt he wants me to.
      "Rashawn, I'm so sorry," I tell him tearfully.

     He turns around, furious now. "I was gone a little over a week. A WEEK, Bonnie! This is what you do after one week?! How long did you know this guy beforehand?"
     I'm going to go puke.
     "How LONG, Bonnie?!" he asks again and walks back towards me.

     I can't speak. It took almost everything I had to tell him it wasn't his.
     "How long were you cheating on me? Are you still seeing him?"
     I shake my head no.
     "Well, how long before then?"
     I open my mouth, and nothing comes out.
     "Say something!"
     "One," I choke out.
     "One what?!"
     "Day," I finish. And not even that much. I have to swallow back the threatening vomit.

     He gets terrifyingly quiet. Silent tears run down my face, and I take in a hiccuping breath. After I do, I can feel him looking at me. I can't meet his eyes.
     A broken up, huffing breath escapes him, and he turns away with his hands covering his face again. "I love you, Bonnie," he says in a hurt voice.
     We're going to be okay! I think and walk over to throw my arms around him.

     Before I can, he turns and gently pushes me back.
     "No. I can't."
     I put my arms down.
     "I can't," he repeats. "I wanted you to know; that's all. This doesn't change how I feel, but it does change what I do about it."

     "But it gives us something to go on. Rashawn, I love you too. Please. You said we could get through anything."
     "I never imagined this, though." He reaches up and scratches his head, his fingers momentarily disappearing in his hair. "I don't know. I don't know what to do now. I never expected that you'd cheat on me. You know, you could've tried to contact me too during that week. It's always been me calling you. But you didn't even try to find out why I hadn't called you."
     "I was afraid you were mad at me, something, that you were too busy, that you didn't want to talk to me," I plead, trying to defend my actions...and inactions.

      "So you sleep with a random guy? C'mon, Bonnie. At least tell me you were drunk, something that would make this the smallest iota easier to take," he begs.
      "He was the repairman, and he'd hit his thumb with the hammer. I came in to check on him, and he tripped into me. I was wearing my pajamas-"
      "Oh, maker, stop!" he yells, his voice getting louder with each word. Both of his hands go into his hair now like he wants to pull the image from his mind. Then, he flings his hands outward to either side of me like he wants to shake me. Scared, I take several steps backwards.

     He follows me. "I've been faithful to you. You think I haven't had other women interested in me? I do, but I don't go parading around in front of them in my underwear!"
     Scared, defensive, I don't know, but I counterattack. "This is what I get for facing the music, for telling you the truth. I'd hoped that would mean you'd at least be able to respect me for that."

     "Respect you?! You're carrying another man's child! Someone you'd just met! You're... You're... You're no better than your mother! What's that saying? Something like 'the apple doesn't fall far from the tree'?"

     There wasn't a worse thing he could possibly say to me. "No! I told you! Mom didn't want to tell Dad! She was going to keep it from him! I couldn't do that to you!"
     I'm so glad Dad and Mandi are out and Anastasia is at school.
     "Don't talk to me about what you 'couldn't do to me'! Because, obviously, that doesn't matter to you." His angry expression collapses into pain again, and he lets out a tiny whine. "I'm out of here. I gotta go before I say something else I'll regret. Goodbye, Bonnie. We're finished." He turns to go.
     "No. No, please, Rashawn!" I call out and grab his arm. He shoves it off and more quickly moves away, flying down the stairs and out the door.

     I don't run after him anymore. He made it perfectly clear he never wants to see me again. Little sobs slip out of me. What will I do now?

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Another earworm chapter for me. Here ya go, one of my favorite groups:

And sorry for the crazy timeline issues this chapter has. It was worse.Still, it's sims, and I'm not going to make this turn into hard work. That's not the point, especially of this legacy. Suffice to say there was a period of time that Rashawn went missing, then Bonnie slept with Lavar, then there was enough time to figure out she was pregnant, then Rashawn came back, then some time when she considered lying to him. Then the breakup scene.

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