Chain Reaction 1.25: Really Real

     "Hello?" I answer my phone's ring. Graham has gone to work, having skipped the paperwork he'd planned to do but not skipping the class he has to teach.
     "Thank the maker. Brielle! Where are you?!"
     Alex. It's Alex.
     "I'm...fine. Don't worry," I tell him.
     "Are you nuts? Don't worry? You didn't come home last night. I waited up, needing to talk to you." I imagine him pacing back and forth.
     "Didn't you see my note?" I ask.
     "Yeah, I did," he replies, sounding nonplussed. "This MORNING. What a great 'thank you' to my parents, leaving a note like that. Just because you were avoiding me doesn't mean they weren't worried about you too." He sounds hurt.
     "I'm very grateful to your parents," I tell him assuredly. "But... You're right. I was avoiding you, and I don't want to live there anymore. I'm apartment hunting today."
     "Don't be utterly ridiculous, Brielle. Look, I screwed up. I know that, but please, come home."
     "No. That's not my home anymore. For the moment, I'm homeless." I shrug even though he can't see me.
     "Where did you sleep last night?" he asks suspiciously.

     "None of your damn business, that's where," I snap.
     "I knew it! Graham, right? He's apparently dumber than he looks," Alex snarls.
     "Yeah, but I slept alone, not that it's any of your concern," I snarl back.
     "I warned him! He laughed me off, treating me like a little kid, but now he'll see just how serious I was."
     My heart starts pounding in my chest. "What are you talking about?"
     "Don't you worry about it. Let the big boys have their fight." I hear a sinister smile in his voice. "I knew that's why he was at the bar. Selfish prick."
     "What fight?!" I yell into my phone. "Leave him alone! If it's a fight, what's the goal? Me? Alex, I don't love you, and especially after hearing this side of you, I never will." Where's my nerdy friend?
     "We all have a dark side, Brielle. Right now, I'm in a tremendous amount of pain from your rejection. I was ready to give you everything. And last night, I wanted to speak with you, let you know that we could have a very extended timeframe." He sounds choked up when he says pleadingly, "We still could!"
      "No," I say succinctly.
      "Fine. See how much you love your old fart when I'm done with him." He hangs up on me!
      "Alex!" I scream.
      Standing here staring at my phone, I wonder about my old 'friend.' His personality did a complete turnaround, and he said it was because he was in a tremendous amount of pain. I'm sorry, but get over it!!! S--- happens, and destroying other people's lives doesn't make it better! I text him my recent thoughts and get no answer.

     To keep from going stir crazy, I first call Graham just to check on him, not really telling him why I'm checking on him. He hasn't made it to work yet, but he sounds chipper enough. Then, I leave his house to find that foundation's local chapter. Because this is sims, they're able to help me this very afternoon. I get keys to my very own apartment! I decide to wait until Graham gets home before going to look at it.
     When Graham gets home, he looks more tired than normal, but then I remind myself that I don't really know what normal is. He smiles and agrees to drive me over to my new apartment.

     The building is four stories, but my apartment is on the first floor.

     Eagerly, I dash into the hallway and pull out my key. Graham follows at a slower pace behind me.

      I turn around, beaming at my gorgeous boyfriend. "I have a kitchen!" I say excitedly.

      "And it's clean. That's a definite plus," he states thoughtfully. When I look more closely at him, he smiles.
      I smile brightly at him and quickly zip into the next room, separated from this one by a wide doorway.

     "So what's this room supposed to be?" I ask, thinking it's strange if it's the dining room and separated from the kitchen by this much.
     "The living room, I'd guess. It has the cable hookup." He smiles in a truer fashion at me.
     "So far from the front door?"
     "Not all places have you walk into the living room first thing."

      "Nice bathroom. I'll need blinds over those windows, though." I look out the window and see a pool. In the back corner, I see a hot tub.

     "And this must be the bedroom," Graham says. "That's the door leading back into the kitchen." He points to it while I stand in my room and spread my arms out.
     "It's real!" I cry out, laughing and turning in a circle. "It's really real!" I'm finally making it on my own! And this wonderful man helped me make that happen!

     I throw my arms around him. "I love you," I say without thinking.

      My eyes fly open as I hear Graham breathe in in a gasp. He squeezes me tighter. Did I really just say that?!
      Graham turns his head and breathes in with his face in my hair. He lets out his breath in a shuddering way. Then, he pulls back to hold my face in his hand. I make myself drop the shocked look and smile at him. Well, it's true.
      "I love you too," he replies, looking so happy that I think I see tears in his eyes. "And I'm so happy to see you this happy." He kisses me lovingly for a few minutes before we go back into the kitchen. Earlier, I'd bought a few groceries, not much but enough. I make mac and cheese... in my kitchen. While I do, Graham sets up my camping cot in the bedroom.

      Since I don't have a dining room table and chairs, we eat outside. I offer someone in my building a plate of food, and she happily accepts. Then, Graham comes outside and sits with us. I go to introduce them, but she gets up with a disgusted look on her face, saying she lost her appetite. I look at Graham, who shrugs. Man hater, I guess.
      "So, how was work today?" I ask conversationally.

       "Short. I got fired," he says in a plain voice and looks down at his plate.
       About to scoop more mac and cheese onto my fork, I stop and stare at him in shock. He brings the corners of his mouth up in a forced smile and eats another bite of food.
       "What happened?" I ask quietly. And he's been going on, not interrupting my joyous occasion with his bad news. But then, when I asked, he decided to tell me.
       "Word got to the dean that I dated a minor," he explains just as quietly. His eyes pick a distant spot on the horizon, and his mind goes there.
       "But that was over a year ago!" I loudly argue.
       His gaze snaps back to me from my raised voice. "That didn't matter to him," he says, telling me that he'd brought up that point. "They gave me a severance package, so I guess I have to be grateful for that."
       I understand now. He said his workday was short, but he came home at or close to the regular time. He must've spent the rest of the day fighting to get his job back. No wonder he looked so tired when he got home.
       I whisper harshly, "Alex!"
       He looks up at me. "Hm?"
       "Alexander Goth is behind this. He-"
       "Was doing nothing but telling the truth," Graham finishes for me. "I suspect the same thing, but what can I do if it's the truth?"
       I ruined his life. He loved his job. Me and my stupid lie! "What are you going to do now?"
       "What can I do but try to find another job?" he questions.
       "What if it's far away?" I cry. He came to this area because of the job. Will he have to leave to find another one?
       "I... I don't know, Brielle."
       "This is going to stay on your record for the rest of your life, and it's my fault!" I cry and run back into the building.

     He catches up to me in the bedroom. "Brielle, I don't care! I don't care if I never teach again! Not if I have you. I love you more than anything. I'll... get a job as a museum curator or something along those lines."
      "I'm going with you," I reply tearfully.
      "Huh?"
      "If it's far away, I'm going with you. I'll kinda miss Sade and Grayson, but... I... I can't live without you anymore!" I start really crying, and he wraps his arms around me.
       "It'll be okay. I'll be okay. We'll be okay. I can't live without you anymore either. It was hell on earth when I did. If I have any say, and I do, dammit, it won't happen again."

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The apartment building in this chapter is House No.10 Apartment by yanka741.

Chain Reaction 1.24: Pancakes

     Graham and I have a fantastic dinner date. He flirts every time he sees an opportunity, and I try to flirt back, albeit clumsily. I'm out of practice. This must've been what Grayson felt like on our first date. Remembering how I felt, I watch Graham. He loves this. He wants this. I'll bet that even if I royally screw up, he wouldn't care. I imagine with everything I say that he reaches out and snatches it out of the air to then bring and keep close to his heart.
     "Time has not changed how I feel for you," goes through my head, remembering what he told me not even an hour ago.

      "Where do I take you from here?" Graham asks after we leave the restaurant and walk up the boardwalk a ways. I want to hold his hand, but I still can't bring myself to make a move like that on my own.
      They probably frown upon employees spending the night on the breakroom couch. "I have no idea, actually. I'm...not wanting to go back to the Goths."
      "Where were you planning to go, Brielle?" he asks, and I sense a suspicious tone to his voice like he suspects I'll go set up another campsite.
      I rub the back of my neck. "Um, well, I was going to sleep in the breakroom, but I don't think they'll let me now that I think about it. Oh yeah. I forgot to mention I got a job as a bartender there." I gesture across the street with a jerk of my head. "I don't know."

     He reaches down and takes both my hands, and part of me sighs with relief. "Forgive me. I am not about to drop you off in the woods so you can go set up a tent or whatever. I am not about to let you get on the trolley to destinations unknown. I hope you know me well enough to know that I won't stand aside and let that happen."
      I know where he's going with this. He'll offer I sleep at his place before he'll have me go somewhere where he'll worry about me. "Graham... Don't worry about me. I'll be fi-"
      "No, you won't. Call me a stubborn jackass, but I'm not letting you." He pauses. "Sade's house?"
      I shake my head no. "She may be my best friend, but I don't want to be up all night satisfying her curiosity about Alex and me." I look at him. "I have some money. Let me go to a hotel tonight, and I'll shop for an apartment tomorrow."
      "Save your money. I can sleep on the couch," he says, confirming my suspicions.
      "Graham, I have quite a bit of allowance saved up. I can afford it as long as it's not a five star hotel or something along those lines."
       He whispers, "Please." I hear all the anguish he must've felt over the past year as he wondered but didn't know how I was doing, what I was doing, who I was with, and so on. "Please, trust me. I promise from the bottom of my heart that I'll stay on the couch."
      I finally nod my okay.

     "Thank you," he breathes and wraps his arms around me. At first, I stiffen from the contact, but I relax when I realize that, again, I don't feel sick. I wrap my arms around him too, and he exhales happily. He holds me in a rejoicing way, and I realize that this is the first time he's fully held me like this since all the way back to that night he first told me he loved me.
      This is so nice! I think with a huge smile, and I turn my head to the side to rest my cheek on his shoulder. I remember how much I used to like this. It's because it's Graham. It has to be.
      He doesn't try to kiss me like he might've before, and I can't tell if I'm grateful or disappointed. We hold hands on the way back to his deep blue Nissan Maxima, and he gently kisses my knuckles before opening the car door for me. His lips feel fantastic, and I zero in on them.
      Kiss me, Graham! I suddenly scream at him in my head. I don't care about what happened to me. With Graham, I'm safe, and I need him to kiss me right now.
     When he lets go of my hand and does nothing but hold onto the door, I take a step towards him, putting very little space between us, only as much as the door needs. I look up at him, hoping he can see in my eyes what I want him to do. I can't say it; I'm not that far yet.
     He looks down at me and swallows, gulps. He HAS to see. Boldly, I reach up to grasp the upper part of his lapel. The fabric feels like it has silk in it, almost smooth under my fingertips. I tug.
     Quickly, he kisses my forehead, breathing fast and deeply as he does, and my heart sinks. Stupid, stupid, Brielle! I tell myself. He knew, but there he goes only kissing my forehead. Like a little girl.
      He pulls back and looks down at me with a desperate expression, not speaking. I only see it for a second because I then look down at his handkerchief. Turning, I get into the car.
      We stay quiet on the drive to his house. He doesn't hold my hand.

      When we get here, he follows me as we walk inside, and I turn around and gesture to his bedroom door. "I assume you'd like to change into some sleepwear before I commandeer your room."
      "Yes, please," he says in a tense tone, almost gritting his teeth. He robotically walks past me before turning around and saying, "Don't disappear while I'm gone."
     I giggle. "I promise."
     His half-lidded expression is the only response I get, and he closes the door.

     Pancakes, I think when I wake up the next morning. Looking around, I see I'm in Graham's bedroom. He kept his promise; he stayed on the couch.

      I silently open the door and peer into the kitchen to see my... Boyfriend? Yes, he's my boyfriend again... boyfriend deep in thought. For the moment, I don't wonder what he's thinking about. Instead, I stand here and secretly admire him. I'd wondered if it was the cut of his clothes that made him look so good. No, he just looks that good. The graphics of the laptop don't do him justice, but he's incredibly muscular. I start wishing he'd gone shirtless last night.

      I stealthily pad my way to the kitchen. "Good morning," I say, remembering the stressed look on his face as he'd told me goodnight last night.
      His head pops over to me. "How long have you been standing there?" He smiles.
      "I just walked in here. Well, I stood here for a few seconds." I fold my hands in front of me to give them something to do. I want to throw myself at him, but I sat up and thought last night, and I came to the conclusion that what I did, asking him with my eyes to kiss me, must've reminded him of what Kristy did to him. That's why he didn't kiss me except on the forehead.
      "I assume pancakes are okay with you?" he asks, oblivious to my inner struggle. I want to run my hands down his arms.
      "Yes," I nod my head happily and smile. "I'll... make coffee."

       I must be losing my mind, I think as I realize I'm acutely aware of every movement he makes. Forcing myself to stay put, I look out the window as the world wakes up.

       He asks what might've been bothering him for a little bit. "You slept in my bathrobe?"
       "Oh," I say and try to hide my smile, my ring finger doing something that a good pose designer would never let happen. "I forgot to pack pajamas."
      Halfway in the process of collecting more pancakes on his fork, he pauses. "You're... You... You mean you're..." He closes his eyes, and his nostrils flare out. I look at his hand and see it holding the fork much too tightly. His whole body sits stiffly in the chair in front of me. Syrup starts dripping down the fork and onto his fingers, and I have the bizarre want to lick it off them myself.
      "I'm wearing more than the bathrobe, Graham," I say quietly.
     "Brielle, I'm really wanting to be good."
     "I know. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I don't mean to tease you." I really needed you to kiss me last night, though.
      "Huh? Don't dare think that. You're not doing anything on purpose. It's my imagination I have to control." He looks down at his hand and sees the syrup there. Without thinking, he lifts it to his mouth and licks it off himself. I almost fall out of the chair in a dead faint.

      "So, how do you plan on going about the apartment hunt?" he asks, changing the subject.
      I shrug. "I guess roam around and see what I can find."
      "Um, Brielle?" he asks, and I look at him in question. He goes on to mention an organization that offers help to women like me, those that want to get their life going after going through what I went through. They offer to help me find an apartment and a job if I need one. "There's also a small chance they could offer you a scholarship too. From what I've heard, it was started by a woman that had similar experiences, and she started this foundation." He pauses. "You have to prove that you're really wanting to get your life going instead of mooching off them. They monitor your progress, but I don't think you'll have any problem proving you want to make it on your own."
     "I'll... contact them," I say and slump. That's why he didn't kiss me. He thinks I'm still in the deathgrip of the torture of memories of what happened to me. He doesn't understand that I've come a long way. I'll never be able to forget it, but I still want everything --with him-- that I'd want otherwise.
     "I think I'll call in today, take the day off," he says decidedly.
     "No, don't. It's fine. I'll be fine," I say and force a smile.
     "I don't want to leave you," he says almost too quietly to hear.
     "You need to work. Save the time off for another day." My smile is real this time.

     He gets up to wash the pan, and I help by wrapping up the leftovers. "Thank you for that suggestion," I tell him, meaning the foundation.
     Turning to look at me, I see love fill his eyes as he says, "I want you to get your life back. I want you to have what you've always wanted: independence. You can finally have it, and I want to help you however I can."
     I can stand it no longer! Graham does know me, and he does love me.

       I don't bother with the 'kiss me' eyes. I kiss him.
       A surprised grunt escapes him, and he stiffens again.

      The hand on my waist starts pushing me away! No! I lean in as much as I can.
      Breathless, he pulls back. "I'll push this. Brielle, I'll push this farther than you want it. You have no idea what you're doing to me with that just-woke-up look, and you're wearing my bathrobe and little else. I love you so much, but I won't push-"

       I make him stop talking, being sure to wrap my arms around him this time. He lets out a groaning whine and opens my mouth. Yes! I'd not forgotten how great a kisser he is, and I happily kiss him back with everything I have.
      He exhales and wraps his arms tighter around me, kissing me harder. One of his hands moves down to squeeze my rear end, and he takes a baby step into me, pressing me into him.

     Panting, he jerks back again. He doesn't push me away, though. I don't know what goes through his mind as his eyes devour my face.
     "You won't push it too far, Graham." I reach up and run my fingers down his cheek. "You'll push it just far enough."
     A harder look comes upon his face, and he grabs the back of my neck and kisses me roughly, balling his fist into my hair to hold me still so he can own my mouth. Shuddering for a second, he lets go of his fragile control, and his hands are suddenly everywhere. His tongue demands that I respond to it, pulling me along in its crazed frenzy. He leaves my mouth to kiss my neck for a second, but it doesn't last long until he's back, relentless in his need to tell me just how much he's missed me in other ways.

     "I wanted so badly to kiss you last night," he tells me in a deeper voice before twisting me around to dip me and kiss me again.
      I joyfully reach up and thread my fingers into his hair. He DID want to! He was just afraid of what it could lead to, afraid that I wouldn't want it.
      "I wanted you to," I tell him when he gives me a chance.
      "Why? Because you thought I expected it?" he questions honestly before raining light kisses across my closed eyes.
      "No," I breathe. "It was a bunch of reasons, really." He kisses me more before I can continue talking. "One being that with you, I don't know why, but it's okay. I don't know if that's normal or what."
     "What's okay? Because I doubt everything I want right now is okay," he moans to me. "I really do want to take the day off now."

      He treats me to another unrelenting kiss, making my grip of him weaken while his hold of me tightens. I start to get a strong suspicion he doesn't want me to tell him what's not okay.
      He has to stop kissing me so he can bend down and lift me in his arms. I suddenly realize he's headed to his bedroom! Gasping for air, I still manage to say, "Yes, that's too far."
      His eyes close, and he takes a deep breath before placing my feet back on the floor. "But kissing you is fine," he states as a question.

      "Yes," I reply, and he kisses me again. We spend the rest of the morning kissing, making him late for work. He doesn't act like he cares, wordlessly saying that if kissing is okay, he'll get as much of that as he can.

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Graham on the desktop computer:

Brielle was right. The laptop doesn't do him justice.

Chain Reaction 1.23: Dinner at the Magnolia Matron

     I tell Graham I'll meet him back here tonight at seven.
     "Brielle, be careful. Call me for anything, okay?"
     I make myself smile. I know he means to be careful of the Goths. Now that I've outright refused Alexander, they might be a little unpredictable. "I'll be fine, and, um, I don't have your phone number. I once had it memorized, but..."
     "Then let me give it to you," he says, holding out his hand for my phone. He goes into my messages and sends himself a text. "There. Now you have it." He smirks, knowing I saw what he just did, giving him my number as well.

      I go to the Goth house to find it deserted. So, I quickly make my way up to my room, gather as many clothing and personal items I can carry in my old bookbag, write a note for Alex's parents, and leave the house.
      Not knowing what else to do, I go hang out at the club again. Inspiration hits, and I ask for a job. They have an opening for a bar tender! I don't know what I'm doing, but the manager acts like that's no big deal, and they get to training me straight away. By the time six o'clock rolls around, I'm tired but happy with a few dollars in my pocket from a handful of tips, and I go to the ladies' room to get ready for my date tonight with Graham.

     I immediately love the little restaurant. They seat us next to the window on the water side of the boat, which is perfect by me.

     I stop looking around when I notice Graham staring at me, a small smile on his lips.
     He looks hot. I've never seen a man that wore suit coats so well. He has to get them custom tailored for him. I love what he's done with the whole handkerchief thing making him look more formal yet the first two buttons of his shirt are undone, making the formal deceptively-casual. I fantasize about lightly running my fingernail just under the second button and then slowly up to his throat.
     Whoa. Where did that come from?
     "That is definitely your color," he tells me, sounding ludicrously happy underneath the relaxed exterior. "I used to think red was, but I think I've changed my mind."
     I look down at the tablecloth. "Sade bought this for me. She claimed I wore too much red." Bella liked putting me in red.
     "Then I'll have to thank her when I meet her," he replies, reminding me how much I truly love the sound of his voice.

     "She wanted to meet you last night, but-" I stop talking, not sure if I want Graham to know how I wanted to tackle her, how I actually did tell her to back off.
     "Oh?" he prompts.
     "Yeah," I reply evasively. I quickly look around to find another topic.
     "But what?" Graham asks, insisting I explain the 'but.'
     "Hm?" I ask, pretending not to know what he means.
     "She wanted to meet me but what?" he clarifies.
     Damn! I bite my lip. "But she didn't."

     "What was stopping her?" he asks me knowingly. "I spoke to almost no one last night, too distracted by watching a raven-haired goddess in a red dress, so she could've come up to me if she wanted."
      "All right. Fine. I was stopping her. Happy?" My voice sounds snappy, but inside, I float from him calling me a raven-haired goddess.
      "Happier than I've been in over a year, but that has nothing to do with your jealous streak." He grins triumphantly.

     "My jealous streak?" I ask him playfully. "Who's to say that I just didn't want her finding out you weren't really my tutor?"
     His grin doesn't fade. "I like the tutor story. I wish I'd thought of that. Your tutor: what a perfect excuse. After all, you missed a lot of school. You needed help catching up."
     "And history was my worst subject," I admit quietly.
     "And history was your worst subject!" he pronounces happily. "See? Who better than a local professor with time on his hands?"
     I sober up. "They wouldn't have hired you."

     Anger crosses his eyes as he replies, "Yes. I know. Perhaps my worst move was letting Mortimer know I wanted to date you. For some reason, I thought he'd be okay with it since I did everything I could to help find you. With his permission, we could have."
     I fold my hands in my lap and look down at them. "Graham, I wasn't in any state to date anyone."
     "I know. But I could've at least seen you! I could've been there to help you however I could."

     I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "Please don't take this badly..."
     "But?"
     "But I wasn't letting anyone help me. In fact, you would've been bad for me. It's because I knew you were attracted to me...and your age..." I hear him let out a pained breath, and it breaks my heart. "I don't know how old he was, but he was old enough to date my sister, around your age. I'm sorry. Anything and anyone that reminded me or made me think of it, I shoved away from me with as much force as I could." I still don't open my eyes. "That would've been really bad for us."
     "You're right," he says solemnly. The entire mood of our date has changed for the worse. I hate it, but at the same time, perhaps it's better to air these things out now. "I just missed you so badly it caused me physical pain, pain that was apparently visible to my friend."
      Friend...I open my eyes angrily, knowing about whom he speaks.

     He reads my glare. "We started out as friends, yes. She knew I was in love with someone, someone I couldn't be with for a reason I didn't tell her. Then, I found out she was attracted to me."
     "How?" I ask viciously. I want to know.
     He winces. "I was working late, and she came in to tell me I needed to go home, never mind how she had also been working late. She told me I looked exhausted, and I explained to her why didn't want to go home, as much as I could tell her. I was, truly, exhausted like she said. I don't know who moved first, her or me, but I kissed her."
     I move to get up. I need to take a walk.
     "Please don't run away, Brielle," he steadfastly requests, holding up his hand. I look back at him in shock, surprised he'd call it that. "You asked, remember? And at any rate, I'd just come after you anyway."

     I close my eyes and take several deep breaths. Graham stays silent while I soak up the information he just gave me, trying to look at it with an objective eye. I see the two of them in his office, and I suddenly imagine it through her eyes: hot younger man that wants comforting...
     A realization hits me. "She...took...advantage of you."
     He stupidly defends his friend. "No. She wanted to comfort me."
     I shake my head no. "Even if it was you that kissed her instead of her kissing you, she still should've realized that you were in a vulnerable state. As a true friend, she should've stayed back and found another way to help you."
     "No," he still denies. "No, it wasn't like that. True, I didn't love her, but..." He gets quiet for a minute. "She just couldn't stand to see me hurting..." He lets his voice trail off again. He starts to get it, but I want to further prove it to him.
     "Tell me about your first date with her since I interrupted the second one," I request masochistically.

      "We went to dinner, spending most of the time talking about our students, exchanging woes and triumphs. I drove her home and... kissed her on her front porch. She invited me inside, but I declined." He lets out a worried breath through his nose before quickly breathing in again.
      I do my best to fight away the pain of the mental image of Graham kissing that woman goodnight, of Graham kissing that woman in his office, and I try to focus on her motives instead. She wanted his body. True cougar attack.
     "What did she do when you declined?" I ask.
     "Brielle, why do you want to talk about this?" he asks in a pained voice. "I don't want to do anything to screw tonight up. I want to answer truthfully, but I don't want to hurt you."
     "I can understand that logic, but I also understand that evasive tactic you just used," I say sternly.
     "She tried to... convince me, and I don't want to tell you how. I want to talk about something else. Please," he says, his voice sounding angry at first then pleading.

     I meet his beautiful eyes. "All right. I think I've had enough of that topic anyway." And I think if you get a chance to think about it on your own, you'll come to the conclusion that I came to.
     He puts his hands on the table very close to me, palm up, in a wordless gesture to ask to hold mine. I tentatively bring them off my lap and place them in his. Once they touch his, he grasps them firmly.
     "I'm so, so happy that tonight is happening at all. Finally, we're together again, and this time, nothing and no one stands in our way. I am full-on asking for another chance, a real chance. Time has not changed how I feel for you. I've often thought that perhaps it was a good thing that we met when we did, even if you were too young at the time. When I was out taking a walk that night, I was wondering what the hell I was doing in a new town like I was where I knew nobody. I wondered if I'd ever meet anyone or if I'd spend my days alone." A small smile graces his lips. "Then, I get to the park and see someone else out for a midnight stroll, brushing something off her pant leg, and when she moved her head back up, her hair glinted in the moonlight like a beacon. I thought I'd at least go introduce myself, and well, you know the rest." His smile grows.
     I love him, I realize in shocking clarity. That's why it hurt so bad to lose him. That's why I could never really love Grayson or Alex. My heart already belonged to him.
     Why has this only occurred to me now?

     Graham listens to my silence with patient affection. His thumbs caress my knuckles, and he continues, "Had I not met you when I did, I may never have. Or, we would've met under different circumstances, having made different choices. The circumstances under which we met were hard as hell to live through, but I'm glad I did." He looks me deep in the eye, trying to read my expression. I wonder if he can see my recent thoughts on my face. "Are you?"
     "Y-yes," I answer, still trying to piece it all together. I love him, so what do I do now?
      I'm scared.
      'You realize you've always loved him. What have you always BEEN doing, Brielle?'
      Pushing him away, I immediately answer my inner voice.
      'Well, don't do THAT,' it reprimands me. 'Not now. He's right. Now, there's nothing standing in your way.'
      "So," Graham says, his head tilting and his eyes resting on our hands, "does that mean you're okay with starting over? Well, maybe not starting OVER, but again."
      "I am," I say with a tiny bit more enthusiasm than I first intended.
      A mildly-humorous smile plays about his lips while his eyebrows twitch together for a second. "Are you okay? You look a little dazed."

     "Hello, welcome to the Magnolia Matron," our waiter says, breaking the spell. Graham lets me have my hands back, and I smile at him while he watches me. The waiter apologizes for the delay and explains the specials, but I hardly listen to him. I have no idea what I end up ordering.

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I designed the Magnolia Matron. I won't put it up for download because it's really simple.