Chain Reaction 3.20: Lady's Choice

     I hardly speak to Jarvis the next day, even though we're working together. He walks around like an injured puppy, but I don't want to talk to anyone while I'm still trying to figure myself out. I have to call Tommy on my break to tell him to stop calling me, that I need to think. I patiently listen while he spouts off about how much he loves me and what I mean to him, making me feel like crap.
     Before I get off my break, I text Dwight. He encourages me to do the objective thinking again. How can I do that with Tommy texting me and Jarvis moping? Not to mention the butterflies in my stomach when Dwight texts me, which isn't often enough.
     I'm sad when the weekend ends and he has to go back to Everton. We meet at the park bench where we'd met before.

     "I can't do it! I can't think objectively. If I drop both of them, I lose my best friends, and I've already been through that and didn't like it."
     He smiles. I have no idea why. "What advice would you give someone else if they came to you with your exact problem?"
     I pout. "I don't know." I'm not a genius like you are!
     "You can't make everybody happy, Charlotte. You have to decide what will work for you. It's not fair to them if you're only half in it. And..." His eyebrows come together. "Maybe make some new friends."
     "Like you?"
     He laughs. "Sure, though I don't know how good a friend I'll be being away from home a lot of the time. I can at least lend an ear."
     I hate that he's leaving just as I was really getting to know him. Turns out our dads used to work together on the police force. "Thanks. And I promise I'll keep trying to think objectively." I still don't completely understand how to do that. I'm so much into a land of feelings that it's hard to leave it, even if I practice at it all the time while I'm at work.
     "You know..." He reaches his hand up. "It's not hard to understand one reason they're fighting over you."

     "You're really pretty, Charlotte."
     I think my insides are melting! I hold my breath. His hands are soft. My hands are rough from all the sandpapering, but his are more like those of a scholar, never been subjected to strenuous labor.
     He says something else. "Don't let that get in your way."
     "Okay," I reply, my voice sounding breathy. I have no idea what he means.
     "I'm happy to have met you," he tells me, and I open my eyes to see him smiling.
     "Me too. Only...I mean you. Oh, you know what I mean."
     He laughs. "Yeah, I do."

     He hugs me, and it's a nice hug. When he pulls back, I have never wanted someone to kiss me so much in my entire life. I'm falling for this adorable geek. For once, I don't have feelings shoved on me. I'm doing it on my own.
     "Well, I'd better get going," he says nervously. "I'll text you or something."
     "Okay." I smile. Silly girl. You have a boyfriend, even if things are rocky between the two of you. You can't go and kiss another guy when you have a boyfriend. I wave as Dwight leaves for his school.
     He's helped me more than he knows. What I've felt in the long weekend I've known him is more than I've ever felt for Tommy and Jarvis. I know what I have to do. I have to completely cut off the romance. I hate the thought of breaking Tommy's heart, but I know that's why I've stayed with him, because I didn't want to hurt him. It has to be done. And Jarvis ... I'll have to find a way to deal with that too. Because I have feelings for Dwight.

     The next evening, I go to Tommy's house. School today was just weird. I didn't want to break up with him with an audience, so I just brushed him off as much as I was able. He got the hint. I feel bad for being mean, but I'm going to explain myself now. I've texted him, so he knows I'm coming.

     "I know you're mad at me," he says sadly in place of a greeting. "I'm sorry. Nobody pushes my buttons better than him."
     "This started because you were complaining that I didn't text you back fast enough. So let's start there."
     "I know. I know! I was being a dick. It's just you don't know what it's like to sit around and know that your girlfriend is somewhere hanging around a guy that you know is nuts about her."
     "You mean you don't trust me?"
     "It's that I don't trust him."
     "So, if I don't text you back fast enough then you assume he's trying something."
     "Well, it sounds crazy when you say it."

     "It is crazy, Tommy! I can't live like this."
     "I'm sorry. I'll do better. It's just that I love you so much that it makes me crazy to think of losing you."
     "I can't do this anymore. I've tried, Tommy, but I just don't have feelings for you."

     "Wait. What? What are you saying? Are you... breaking up with me?" He acts like it was impossibility that it could ever happen, that we were obviously going to stay together forever like our parents.
     "I'm sorry." He doesn't believe me. I can feel it. "Tommy, yes, I mean it. We need to break up."
     "No... No! This is a mistake. It's a big mistake. That jerk has only made you confused. You're almost as crazy about me as I am about you. Maybe... we just need... a little break, to sort ourselves out."
     "No."
     "Charlotte, I love you. Don't do this."
     "I'm breaking up with you, Tommy. I'm sorry. I've... gotta go."
     "No!" He pulls on my arm, bringing me to him. Then, in a loud whisper, he says, "You love me, Charlotte. You just need to remember that."

      He slams his mouth down on mine and starts ardently kissing me, begging me to respond. I'm not going to. I put every bit of brain power into getting free of him. Now, he is literally smothering me with his love, and I can't breathe!
     I pound the heel of my foot against his instep and ram my knee between his legs. Immediately, he lets me go as a self-protective instinct kicks in, and he cries out in pain.
     "I'm sorry," I say, knowing it's no use talking to him right now. So, I quickly make my escape.

     As I lie in bed tonight, I stare at my ceiling and ponder how I need to quit my job.

Chain Reaction 3.19: Rudeness

(still Jarvis)

      "You didn't answer my text," Tommy says, sounding upset.

      "I was going to when I got home. I was working, and it's...not polite to have my phone out when customers need attention." She sounds miffed that he's accusing her of not texting him back immediately on purpose.

      "That's the only reason?" Oh, if only what he's worried about were true. If only I could be so lucky. Unfortunately, Tommy, it's not like she's spending her time flirting with me. 

       "Yes."

       "I still don't like you working here, Charlotte. I don't care how much money you've been making. I want you to quit." He sounds like he's laying down the law, and it pisses me off. Who the plum does he think he is?

       "Tommy, I like it. I'm good at it." Ha! Take that, Tommy boy.

       "Then somewhere else. Not with him." WHAT? 

       Oh no he did not just say she couldn't work here because of me. I can tell you Lottie is keeping a very clear distance. And I can't really do anything about it. She's a loyal girlfriend, and I'm her BOSS.

       All my pent up frustration builds and builds as I listen to him tell her how he doesn't trust me. Before I know what I'm doing, I burst from the front door.

      "Just where do you get off telling her what she can and can't do?! You heard her! She likes working here! And as far as not trusting me goes, I am her plumbing BOSS, so how dare you think I'd try anything! Even if I'd want to! I can't stand you! You stand there and complain and try to accuse your girlfriend of being disloyal?! You're a plumbing as*wipe, not fit to kiss the ground she walks upon!" I see red.

      "Oh, I'm an as*wipe? Funny how you're accusing someone else when you yourself are a lower lifeform scum that ran away, quit school, lived in a tent, and now thinks he's something special because he bought a building that should be condemned! I don't like my Charlotte working here with you as you look for any opportunity to take her away! Do you think I'm stupid? You think I don't see what's happening here? Oh, it's so convenient for you to have her here under your thumb as you work in close quarters with  my  girlfriend! You talk about me not being worthy, look at you! You're nothing but a wannabe! You're a wannabe adult, a wannabe businessman, and a wannabe boyfriend, and that's all you'll ever be is a wannabe!"

      I plumbing hate him.

      I don't know who strikes first, but I don't think it matters.

      I've waited years to lash out at this jerk. Ever since that day when he told Lottie that Malcolm Landgraab was my step-father, I've hated him. He knew before I did why I wanted to hang around her because he himself was after the same thing, even if we didn't fully know why as kids. But now, we do. And as he happily pointed out, she's with him. And that kills me.
      I think Charlotte is yelling something at the two of us. We hear the word 'police,' and we both stop. It's true. There's a cop down the street making his rounds. If we're caught fighting, we'll get arrested.

      We tone it down. He shoves me a few times, talking about how Charlotte shouldn't work here because of my obvious outburst.
      "Speak for yourself, Tommy boy. Your own rant was twice as long as mine. Sounds like you've got problems." I have to use evasive maneuvers because he keeps trying to sneak in a hit. Who knew the pipsqueak could fight?
      "I hate you, wannabe. I always have. You're so pathetic how you keep wishing Charlotte would be attracted to you. It's not happening, so get over it."
      I could kill him.
      "I'm going home!" Lottie yells at both of us. Tommy boy asks her to wait, but she tells him he can go suck a duck. I laugh and immediately have to duck in another sense. Tommy walks away, leaving me standing alone on my sidewalk, feeling foolish.

Charlotte

     I've had it with those two! I'm no dummy. I knew why Jarvis wanted me to work with/for him. But I wanted the job anyway and he was being nice, so I took it. I always made sure never to give him any opportunity where he could romantically approach me. And he was behaving even though I could feel how he felt about me. I was actually impressed at how he was able to hide it.

     How is it that he loves me so much? There's nothing remarkable about me, even though Tommy says there is. But Tommy's been gaga over me since forever. Now, he's getting annoying how he's starting to smother me. Then, those two fighting like children really took the cake.

I'm sorry.

     I sigh. I'm not going to text Tommy back. He calls, and I send it straight to voicemail.

     When I get to my house, I don't want to go inside it. I need to think, and there's a park bench nearby within sight of the house. It's become my favorite spot to think, even if I haven't visited it in a long time. Maybe that's why things have started snowballing out of my control.

     But when I get here, some bum is sitting on the bench! Who the plum is he? "Hey you!" I snap.

     Startled, he turns around to see who snapped at him. "Excuse me?"

     "Who are you?"

     He stands up and walks over to me.

      He gives me a funny look. "Forgive my rudeness for not introducing myself. My name is Dwight Foster."

      "Oh." That 'forgive my rudeness' was a slight dig at me. I know I'm being rude, but I've had a rough evening. "My name is Charlotte. I... I'm sorry I snapped. I've just had... I've had..." I see both of my friends' hurt faces and how it's all my fault, and I lose it.

     "Whoa!" he says when my face lands in my hands. Poor guy. He has no idea why I'm so upset.

     "I'm sorry! I've had a horrible evening. Well, the past few weeks haven't been great either. And I just wanted to come here and think! I don't know what to do!"

     "Uh, Charlotte, right?" He wants to make sure he got my name right.

     I sniff loudly. "Uh huh."

     "So, I take it you come here often?" He pauses. "Wait. Uh, sorry. That wasn't a pick-up line."

     I laugh now. That was cute how he got embarrassed.

     "Laughing equals better, right?" He smiles in a lopsided way when I nod. "So, after a rough evening, you come to your thinking spot and find some jerk already sitting there."
     "You're not a jerk I don't guess. I was the jerk for snapping when it's not your fault."
     "Nah. It's okay. Do you want me to leave?"
     I don't want him to. "No. I could really use a fresh perspective on my problem."
     He smiles again and gestures to the bench, "Then let's have a seat and see if I can help."
     I smile back. He's nice.

     "Are you new in town?" I ask. I've never met him before, so I assume he is.
     "Uh, no. I've lived here all my life." He pauses. "To answer your next question, I go to Everton instead of the high school, and we're on our break."
     "Oh. Okay." So that means he's brilliant. And that explains why I've never met him before. "Do you like it?" Pearl Landgraab tried to get into Everton, but she couldn't pass the entrance exam. Michael found that and knew I'd be thrilled to see it. I don't know how he got that information, and I don't want to ask. In some ways, I wish she'd gotten accepted. Then I wouldn't have to put up with her.
     "It's okay. I live in the dorms on campus. It's nice to get home every once in a while, even if my little brother drives me crazy sometimes."
     "I'm the youngest."
     "Tell me what's bothering you, Charlotte." He gets right into it.

     So I tell this otherwise stranger my life story, complete with how I think Chloe is jealous of me being with Tommy. Surprisingly, it doesn't take that long to tell it.
     "Let me get this straight," he remarks. "All you've wanted from these two is friendship, correct?"
     "Well, I... I don't mind dating Tommy because I know he loves me. Don't ask me how. I just know. But it's the same thing that I know Jarvis loves me. I have never done anything to encourage them, at least as far as I know."
      "I have no idea on that count, having never experienced anything like that for myself."
      "You've never been in love?" I ask, surprised. He's so cute, even if it's in a nerdy kind of way.

      "Let me turn this back around on you. Have you ever been in love, Charlotte?"
      I take that back. He's hot in a nerdy kind of way. "I don't know."
      "Then you haven't. It stands to reason that you'd know. Not that I'm any expert, but it seems to me that you would be able to tell."
      "Have you ever had a girlfriend?" Or ten?
      "Not a one." He chuckles. "I guess I'm not an expert in this field, but I can only share with you my hypotheses." A pause. "Stop and think about it objectively, if you will. What exactly do you feel about these fellas? What's your first reaction when you think of them?"
      "Annoyed," I answer quickly.
      He laughs out loud. "That should tell you something, then."
      "So what do you think I should do?"
      "Well, from what you've told me, they've made it clear they don't want to just be friends."
      "You're going to tell me I should just drop both of them."
      "Is that what you think you should do?"
      "What are you planning to be when you grow up?" I ask randomly.
      I get the lopsided smile again. "A doctor."
      I nod. "You sound like one."
      "Thank you."
      I imagine Dr. Dwight making his rounds at the hospital. There would probably be a lot of women with made up illnesses just to have a chance at catching his eye. He'd probably be bashful at the more forward women, which just makes him more adorable. I close my eyes and get sleepy.
     "You haven't answered my question, Charlotte." WOW he has a nice voice.
     "What question was that?" I look down and notice he has really big feet.

      He smiles patiently. "Whether or not you think you should drop both of them, as you put it."
      "I don't know. I'm too tired to think anymore."
      "Then sleep on it." We exchange phone numbers so that I could call him if I need someone to talk to again. I think I will. Just because.

     Tonight, I have the best dream ever:

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A/N: Yes, Dwight is Finn's son. And no, not the alien one. :)

Chain Reaction 3.18: Grilled Cheese

Jarvis

     Opening day! And I make my first sale!

    And many more sales!

     Lottie finishes another shelf and sees the shop full of customers, several of which bought things from me at the flea markets. She immediately starts stepping in and taking care of things.

     We make many more sales with the two of us tag-teaming everything:

     I firmly believe that just blindly restocking an item is cheating. I will only sell the items I've found along with purchasing the occasional toy. But collectibles and artwork will not be replicated. Remove sign.

     My first simolean. We made a lot of money this afternoon.

     And I get a sign put on the building.

     Life is great. I see Charlotte almost every day, even if she's constantly texting with that Tommy boyfriend of hers. Still, where I am now is better than where I was before I practically got on my knees begging her to build the shelves for me. I'm happy to say it's taken her longer than anticipated because of how she helps in the store.

     There's just one problem, though. She finishes the shelves. I even try to think up other things for her to build for me, but she sees through that. So, I pay her what I owe her and watch her walk out the door.

     NO! I panic. What now? What will I do?

     "Charlotte!" I call out. I irritate her when I call her Lottie lately. It hurts, but I try to let it go. "Wait!" I race out the door, praying I catch her before she vanishes.

      She turns around and looks a little peeved. "What?"

      "Let me make you lunch." It's the first thing I think of. That would at least give me more time to think of something else, anything to keep her from walking away for good.

      "That won't be necessary."

      "Look, I... I'm really grateful to you for everything you've done, even helping with the sales when you didn't have to."

      "You were swamped. I couldn't just walk away."

      "Exactly!" I get an idea. "I don't know what I would've done without you. I certainly wouldn't have had as happy customers. I could really use some help. I'd like to hire you on a more... permanent basis." I shake as I think about it. Sure, when I was commissioning the shelves, I was more her customer. Being her boss is a completely different ethical story.

      "You're offering me a job." She states it in a rather nonplussed way.

      "Well, yeah. C'mon. You've proven time and again that you know your collectibles."

      She gives me a small smile. "I've had a good teacher."

      "Yeah! So, now the teacher is begging for your help." I'm going to throw up, but I keep talking anyway. "There's nobody better." That has so many meanings.

      She smiles for real, making the sunny day brighter. How in plum's name did I ever think I could do everything in life by myself? I didn't need my parents... but I need Lottie.

      "I did have fun," she replies. "It was like solving a mystery: which item would be best for which customer? That kind of thing."

      "See? You're a natural, and I really need that kind of help." This sounds like the only reason I want her here is to help me run the store. Surely she knows that's not it, but she can at least pretend it is. And if I know her still, that's what she'll do.

      "All right. How much are you going to pay me?"

      "Well, we can discuss that over lunch. C'mon up. I make a mean grilled cheese."

      She giggles, and I want to cry. Why are you with TOMMY?! "Okay. You talked me into it."

      I grin.

       I hum happily and sing in my head: Lottie is in my apartment and we're going to have lunch. I'm still going to see her almost every day. Not all songs have to rhyme.

      For once, I have a meal with Lottie wherein I don't act like an idiot. We decide she makes minimum wage plus commission on sales. Plus, if she brings in more stock, I'll pay her half the value. That's before it's sold and she makes a commission again. As a businessman, the deal is ludicrously not in my favor. But as a man madly in love with her, it's a pittance.

      Except I'll be her boss. I take a deep breath, and my appetite disappears.

      "I... think I'm done." I get up to take care of my plate.

      "I don't know why you don't want to finish this. You weren't kidding about your grilled cheese skills."

      I pretend to puff out my chest. "Yeah. That's what gets all the girls: grilled cheese skills."

      She doesn't laugh. Plum.

      "Excuse me a moment." I escape to the bathroom and try very hard not to be sick. So much for not being an idiot. She's hypersensitive with anything having to do with me and relationships. 

      One very trying year later, and things haven't changed. Lottie and Tommy the Twerp are still dating. I don't know if it's wishful thinking on my part or if it's true, but the two of them together start looking like a habit to her. It just looks like she's tolerating him. I keep waiting for them to break up, but it starts to feel like it's never going to happen.
     When Lottie first started working here, I behaved myself. I didn't try to flirt. I didn't try to sabotage their relationship. I wanted to be a gentleman, to wait for them to break up before I made my move. I didn't want the start of any kind of relationship with her to come from her cheating on Tommy, but a few months ago, I started rethinking that plan. After ten months, my patience ran thin, and I've started lightly flirting, just compliments and all, especially before we close up for the night. Frequently, Tommy is here to pick her up. I'm flirting with her in front of Tommy on purpose. She ignores it, but I've more than once caught a glare in his eyes aimed at me. In my fantasies, he starts making an ass of himself, making Lottie mad, and she breaks up with him. Then, I imagine that it's a few weeks after that and I make my move. This is my favorite part of the fantasy and the part I spend the longest amount of time working on. Sometimes, she stays. Then the fantasy flies ahead to years from now when we're a married couple. Maybe we argue about something stupid and then make up. The making up is the best part.

     Tonight, Tommy waits for her outside, maybe suspecting that I flirt harder when he's around. Glancing out the glass windows in the door, I see he wears a miffed expression, looking at Lottie. Are they about to have a fight? I stand in the middle of the store, in the dark, and eavesdrop, hoping.