Rose 2.46: Make things worse

     Mama finishes a brilliant painting that looks vaguely familiar...

    ...because we have a similar one in our dining area.

     Willow starts showing at last. I guess some women don't show as readily as others do. Mama, who actually has talked to Willow a few times, says that this means Willow carries a girl because boys are all out front like a soccer ball.
     Mama still insists upon calling football soccer. Why is it soccer? Do we play it in our socks? No.

     Two unknown rare seeds Papa planted last fall grow into trees: one a money tree and the other a banana tree. That isn't what a banana tree looks like, but then, with the money tree right next to it, it only further proves this is a different reality.

     My parents are still so very much in love. They woohoo so much that it makes the maker nervous that she still has the woohooer mod set to risky woohoo all the time. She doesn't. Regular woohoo is regular woohoo.
     By the way, I know I'd taken risks when I woohooed Willow. I should've known better.

     Papa claims it's because he does nothing but sit at a computer all day, but he shows more signs of his age when he starts having a definite slouch to his walking. Mama says she does her part to make sure he doesn't spend all day at the computer. Then she giggles.
     At least someone is woohooing in this house. The more time that passes, the more Willow closes herself off to me. I'd wanted the opposite. I still try to be loving and affectionate, but she has actually pushed me away a few times.

     It is torture to sleep next to her. She has to make the most beautiful pregnant woman I have ever seen. I tell her this, and she lets out a patient sigh like she's waiting for me to leave her alone.
     I can't take it! I work out much, much more than I used to from my frustration. Most nights, I sleep on the couch because I cannot take the agony of having her sleep next to me. I do all I can think to do except attack her. So, when the late night show ends, I curl up on the sofa.
     Willow asks me if I want her to move back into the little house. This conversation ends with me pressing her against the wall, completely intent upon seduction. Then, she claims I'm hurting her hips and is afraid I'm hurting the baby by pressing against her so roughly. I wasn't being rough! Surely she should know this, but I let her go.

    Papa also spends more time away from his computer by teaching Zo-zo to talk. Apparently, Zo-zo wants to know why Nonno isn't at his computer because this is his "first" (game) word.

     Immediately, this is his second. He has occasionally called Willow Mama, and this makes my mother furious so badly that she has to leave the room. How did the toddler pick up on the fact that Willow and I aren't married? Maybe that would solve our problem... Maybe she wants to know how committed I'm willing to be...

     Speaking of good marriages, I talk to Link on the phone almost every day. He and Chasity have the perfect marriage. They may not have any children yet, but Link chuckles and tells me it's not for lack of trying.
     "So, when's the big date for you and Willow? Or are you waiting until after the baby is born?" he asks me. "I keep waiting for you to tell me."

     "She..." How do I tell him this? I try to avoid talking about Willow with him as much as possible. "She... Yes, that is the reason," I finally say. I don't want to say more, especially with my mother standing right behind me.
     "You haven't asked her yet, have you?" he questions in a knowing tone.

     "I... No, I haven't," I slowly admit.
     "Do you want to?" he asks, again knowingly.
     I think. "I do not know."
     "Listen, little brother," he tells me in a commanding way, "you really need to decide that, and I think you need to man up and ask her to marry you."
     "I need to go," I tell him. It's not about 'manning up'! I would if I thought I'd get a yes! Maybe I will, but it's not Link's decision.
     "All right. I get it. Ciao," he says and hangs up.

     Willow prefers the company of my son over me.
     Tonight, I do everything I can to steer the direction of the conversation to the topic of marriage. Willow outsmarts me each time to the point that I have to leave the room or risk saying something that could only make things worse.
     I sleep on the couch every night, and when Link tries to bring up the topic of Willow, I make it clear I don't want to talk about it.

     "Donovan," I hear Willow calling me in my dreams. She's in trouble and needs my help.
     "I try to help you, but you won't let me!" I tell her with an irritated cry.
     "Donovan, wake up!" she says, and I get confused.
     I open my eyes and see Willow standing in the living room, holding her belly like she's in pain.

     "The baby's coming!" she cries out before another contraction hits.
     "Okay. Well, it should be here soon," I say in a normal tone.

     "It hurts! Do something!" she cries.
     "What do you want me to do, Willow? Do you want me to run around and panic?" I ask, sounding like an ass. I can't help it. She has driven me mad. "We can't go to the hospital because of the risk that we could take a taxi."
     "Donovan, please!"

     To humor her, I stand up and do the crazy daddy thing.

     My parents hear me yelling and come in the room to also do the crazy thing.
     Things were easier in university. Willow was sweet and fun then. It wasn't just her that was too. Shauna... Shauna was wonderful. Shauna loved me.

     I sit down on the couch with my memories.
     Mama turns to Papa and says, "Let's let Donovan and Willow have this moment alone. We can see the baby later." She kisses him and drags him off to the bedroom. Papa glances at me apologetically. The two of us have made an agreement to keep the two women from being in the same room as much as possible. Papa knows Willow probably doesn't want Mama here now above all.
     That, and earlier, Mama had cast a love charm on herself.

     "A girl!" Willow rejoices, sounding completely happy for the first time in I don't know how long. "Donovan, we have a girl."
     I look at the woman standing in my living room, holding our daughter, and the ice around my heart melts. Willow! Willow was the first one. Willow was the one to teach me everything. Now, she holds my baby, our baby, in her arms. My souls smiles. I can love you, Willow, if you would give me a chance. And...I can try to be more patient.

     "She's beautiful, just like her mother," I say lovingly as I get up and walk over to her.
     Willow stares straight ahead, not letting my compliment affect her. It's okay.

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If parts of this made no sense to you, don't worry; you're not alone. Donovan is bouncing around emotionally. One second he's mourning Tiffany, the next he's frustrated at Willow, the next he's lovey-dovey towards her, then he's happy he has a daughter, then he thinks of the past, then he's happy again. He has a lot going on.

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