Chain Reaction 2.52: The Longest Second

     "Sorry. Did I startle you?" He almost laughs.
     I own up to it. "Yeah, you did. It's just so quiet here."
     His face falls. Oops.
     "That's not a bad thing!" I quickly interject. "Believe me. I've been around Bella's nonstop chatter for what feels like months not weeks."
     "What, are they turning you into a nanny?" He starts to look mad.
     Me and my big mouth! "No! No. It's just Bella always wants me to do things with her, and what Bella wants, Bella gets."
     A small smile finally shows back up on his face. Phew!
     "So, are you here to work on the project?" he asks with a trace of excitement.
     I smile and nod, and we head up to the roof. On the way up, he talks constantly. I don't know if I've ever seen him this animated.

     At a pause, I say, "Oh. You haven't started." I thought he would have.
     He stares at the crates. "No. I didn't want to start on it by myself. I was waiting... Well, I didn't want to do it by myself."
     I suddenly feel bad. I guess I didn't think about the fact that he's pretty much here by himself now. No wonder he was talking so much a minute ago. He lost his fiancee and son in a span of less than 24 hours. He's lonely.
    "Let's get started!" I say, trying to sound cheerful.

     It takes us a surprisingly short amount of time to get a general structure up. This drives The Maker crazy because it's completely unrealistic. Hey, it's Sims.

     With a hammer in my hand, I start thinking about Drake and how rotten he is to everyone. Sure, he's an adult and completely free to move out on his own, but the way he treated his father was awful! I can't believe I stayed with him! I thought I was supposed to be smart, a genius they say. Well, plum that! Apparently, I'm not as brilliant as everyone says I am.
     Well, that doesn't mean I'm completely stupid like Drake said I was. What right did he have calling me stupid anyway? How is saying it was just a hug stupid?

     "Uh... Emily?" I hear from the other side of the rocket. "I don't think it's really necessary to beat it into submission."
     "What?" I call back to him. What does he mean?
     "The hammer. I mean, I can order new parts, but it would be better if you didn't destroy the ones we already have."
     "Oh." I hadn't realized I was really whaling away at the hull of the ship.

     I start lightly tapping the things into place, being much more careful. I don't want him to have to spend money on just a silly little project like this. It's really just therapy. It's nice to build something.
     A light chuckle reaches me on the wind. "That's not saying you need to treat it like it's made of gold."
     "Make up your mind!" I growl and ram the hammer down on the metal.
     I like the hammer being in my hand. I feel a strange sense of power. Yeah. Top this, Drake! I'm building a spacecraft, swinging a hammer, IN HEELS! You couldn't do this in your dreams.
     Alex doesn't even work as hard as I do. At least, that's how it seems to me. He takes a break. I don't know where he went. It doesn't matter right now. I need this.

     "Wow. You've made some real progress," he says when he comes back.
     I stand up straighter and look at the craft. "It doesn't look any different than when we first started and the pieces poofed into place."
     "I guess. But it's closer to the next phase. You can't argue with that."
     "It's not like I'm in a hurry to finish it."
     He gets quiet, and I wonder if it's from what I said.

     He walks over to the railing to look down at the square below. We're really high up. Someone with acrophobia would never stand this close to the railing, but I don't have fear of heights.
     Alex finally breaks the silence. "I'm glad." He sounds anything but.
     "Alex, are you okay?" Selena and Drake must've really hurt him. Drake especially.
     He pauses, debating his answer. Then, he sighs. "I'm not."
     At least he didn't try to lie. "Do you want to talk about it?" He needs a friend.

     I can't help but wonder if the look he gives me has a trace of fear in it. "That probably wouldn't be a good idea."
     Huh? "Why not? You can talk to me about anything." I stress the 'anything.' "I'll listen and help if I can. I don't know if I can, but I'll at least try."
     He doesn't say anything, simply staring at me in a worried way.
     "Is it, um, Drake? We both know he's a plum-tard, but you still love him."
     "Do you still love him?" He turns it around on me.
     "I don't think I ever did. Otherwise, wouldn't I be hurting right now? I'm not. I'm just... I can't explain it any other way than just saying empty."
     "Empty is something I can definitely understand. You say you're not in a hurry to finish the rocket. I'm glad." He still looks at me like he's scared, though. "This house is empty. It's wonderful that you came over. I'm sorry if I'm bumming you out."

     I smile, loving how he's worried about me when he's the one that's sad. "You're not bumming me out. I just simply like being here with you." I open my eyes when I realize it's true.
     "I don't see how that's possible," he tells me in almost a laugh. He's so self-deprecating!
     "Alex, you have no idea how cool you are. Every time you'd ever speak to me, it was always in some way to build me up, even with Drake knocking you down with every chance he got."
     "I was trying to counteract the way he treated you."
     "And see! That's just it! You were more worried about my feelings than your own. Now, here you stand, not giving me a chance to build you up for once."
     "You're wonderful," he breathes.
     "There you go again! I'm trying to help you, but all you want to do is talk about me. Your feelings are hurt. That's evident in you saying this house is empty."
     "Emily, you can't possibly comprehend my feelings."
     That makes me mad. I know I'm a little slow on social interactions, but I'm working on that! "Then you could at least give me a hint. I mean, you tell-"

     For the longest second of my life, I stop talking. I stop thinking.
     -you tell me I'm wonderful, I finish what I wanted to say in thought only. I was going to argue that he'd say that and then not give me a chance to help, but I think another element to this equation has just come up.
     He quickly pulls back.

     "I'm sorry."
     "Emily, you can't possibly comprehend my feelings," echoes in my mind.
     He continues in a panicked voice. "I'll just go downstairs. That way you don't have to look at me; you don't have to speak to me."
     Perhaps I do understand now. Maybe Drake was right. I shake inside, but it's not in fear.
     I hear Alex darting towards the stairs. No! "Wait," I quietly beg. Turning to look in his direction, I see he's stopped, facing away from me. I suddenly realize that one of the reasons I always wanted to come over here was to see Alex again, not Drake. It never occurred to me why. There is one thing I still don't understand, though. "Why did you apologize?"
     "Emily, I am twenty-four years older than you. That's twice the age difference of your parents, and I accused your father of being creepy." He's breathing heavily, and he still won't face me.
     Remembering what Dad had told me, I say, "But I'm not a teenager."
     His hands cover his face. "Yes, but you were one a short time ago." He huffs and drops his hands. "Look, we can just forget this ever happened, but I am afraid I need some time before you come over again."
     Oh, plum. I don't know what to say, and I desperately wish I did. All I know is that I don't want to forget that ever happened. I say my thoughts. "Why would I want to forget that ever happened?" I think of a better way to say it, thank the Maker. "Why would I want to forget one of the most wonderful things to ever happen to me happened?" My stomach feels funny.
     Warily, he turns around. "You don't- ... Do you mean that?"
     I've never experienced such an intense moment. Alex is waiting for me to answer, basically to answer whether or not he means anything to me like I apparently do to him. "Y-yes."

     He dashes across the rooftop and pounces on me. Wait! Wait wait wait! Whoa! Too much! Holy plum! I can't keep up. He's not giving me a chance. I try to signal to him to slow down, but either he doesn't understand or doesn't want to. How can I possibly understand anything when he's kissing me like a ravenous beast? I don't think he wants me to catch up. I start to wonder if what he's trying to say is that he's ten times more the grown man than Drake ever was and that he wants to prove to me exactly what I do to him.
     Okay! Okay okay! I get it! Alex, please, slow down! I don't know what I do to make him understand my thought, but he does.

     Alex's kiss turns loving, and I can finally kiss him back. I feel clumsy compared to him, but he gently pulls me along. I'm just a tad scared, but in a way I don't understand, it's kind of hot. I like the scared/nervous feeling. It's like I've never been kissed before this moment. I have, but not like this.
     My breathing can't keep up with my heart rate, and I have to work to get enough air. Alex knows exactly the right moments to breathe, but I haven't figured that out yet.

     I try to pull back to breathe, but his hand immediately holds the back of my head while he makes a pleading noise. He cradles me as if to say, 'I won't let you faint.' I relax into him and decide to just let him keep going. He's grateful.
     ALEX is kissing me. Alex. Drake's FATHER. Me. He's kissing ME. I think I finally get what he was trying to say earlier. This is... a little unorthodox, even if it isn't unheard of. Besides, I have never liked a kiss so much in my entire life. Plum 'unorthodox.' Next to my dad, Alex is the most wonderful man I know. I sigh happily.
     Then, it hits me: Dad. This will kill him.

     I successfully pull back, panting.
     "Maker, you're beautiful. And you have the most amazing lips." He kisses me again, a touch of the ravenous beast showing up once more, but he's in control.
     I have to stop him. We have to talk. "Alex, this is crazy," I finally get out.
     His entire countenance plummets. He starts shaking, and his hands ball into fists, clutching at me. "Emily..." His voice is so full of pain that he can't finish what he intends to say.
     Oh, plum! "Whoa. I didn't mean it like that!" I hold him while he keeps shaking, trying to calm himself down. He's really been hurt in the past!

     Now, he understands what I meant. He still looks sad, though. "I know it is. Can't you understand how I was battling with myself?"
     "I had no... idea."
     "I know."
     "Is that bad?" If he patronizes me right now, I will go get that hammer and... I don't know. Do something bad.
     "No. I'm the one who pushed our friendship. Thank the Maker you responded." He lightly runs his fingers through my hair. "From the moment I met you, I thought you were the most wonderful sim to walk the planet." He pauses. "And then, you grew up. I couldn't stop myself." Another pause. "Is that bad?"
     I smile and kiss him, and he squeezes me to him while I do. "No." I smile again. "Only now you can think of me as the luckiest sim to walk the planet."
     "Sorry, that role is finally taken by somebody else." He holds me to him, and I rest my head on his chest.
     "Alex?"
     "Mm?"
     "I don't want to be a killjoy, but-"
     "Then don't." He kisses me, and I decide the 'but's can wait.

Click Newer Post or here to go to 2.53