Chain Reaction 2.49: You Have Me

Emily

     "Emily!" I hear spoken happily behind me. Alex appears as he walks around me. I haven't seen him in weeks. Why should I see him? I'm not dating his son anymore. "What are you doing here?"
     I answer in a monotone. "Staring at the swans. Did you know swans choose one mate for life? They do everything together. And if their mate dies, they live life alone."
     "Are you sure that's swans?" he asks.
     I sigh. "No. Actually, no, not really. I think I heard that or read that somewhere. I'm probably wrong. It's fine. It doesn't matter."

     His smile has fallen the next time I glance at him. "I was going to ask, but I see my answer anyway. You're not okay."
     I shrug. "I'm fine." I don't know how true that is. Ever since Drake broke up with me, I've gone around in a haze. I suppose I could go try to find a job, but I don't really want to do anything right now.
     "No you're not." He doesn't say it in an argumentative way, merely concerned. He doesn't have to be concerned. I'll live.
     I shrug again. "Well, I lost my best friend and boyfriend all at once. I never had time for any other friends, and people have moved on with their lives." I sigh. "I do have my degree, though. I'm thinking about finding a job."
     "That'll be good for you, I think. Work is...an excellent distraction."

     I tightly close my eyes. I want to ask him something--but at the same time I don't. If I close my eyes, maybe I can hide from the question as I ask it. "Has...Drake said anything about me?"
     I hear his posture shift, probably just as uncomfortable as I am. "I wouldn't know, actually. He didn't last the night in my house. He's moved in with his mother for a while before getting a place of his own."
     My head nods stiffly.
     "Emily, please tell me you're not wasting time being depressed about him. He's not worthy even of that. I couldn't abide the way he treated you. Me, yes, I always felt I deserved it, but not you."
     "It never bothered me."
     "Well, maybe it should've. It's called emotional abuse. I'm just sorry I let it go on for as long as it did." He waits for me to say something. When I don't, he asks, "Listen, I know people. Do you want me to help you get a job?"
     Everything is so messed up! It's like the world is upside down! "I don't know." I don't want to cry, but I fear I'm about to. I haven't cried in weeks, and I can't figure out why I suddenly want to now.

     "Whoa. Hey! It's going to be okay."
     "When? Look, I know he was a jerk and that I didn't deserve that, but he was all I had." I kick the grass at my feet with the toe of my shoe while Alex holds my shoulders.
     "Isn't that interesting how this conversation just flipped sides. What did you say to me when I said something very similar?"

     I look up at him. I know what I said. I said he had me. Then he hugged me. Then Drake flipped out. Then I found myself on the other side of the question.
     Since I don't answer, he decides to tell me anyway. "You have me."
     I all but glare at him.
     He swallows. "A-and Ethan. And Bella, a little sister who worships you. Your mom. And y-your dad." He quickly stands back and drops his arms. "The point is you have so much more."

     I don't know what to say to that, so we just stand here silently for a few moments.
     "I'm sorry," he says.
     "For what?" I don't really know what he means. Again, he's apologizing, but I don't know why.
     He pauses and watches me, trying to figure out why I'd ask that. "It's my fault. I went...a little overboard."
     "What are you talking about? Drake was the one who went overboard. I can't believe he'd think those things about us. He went crazy."
      Alex looks at me, and I wait for him to see my point of view. "Yeah. Sure." He doesn't look convinced, but I decide to drop it.
      "Yeah. Would you, um, see if you can find me a job? That would be nice."
     A little more life comes back into his face. "Okay. What were you thinking? Something with the science center?"
     I nod. "Especially if it has something to do with space."
     "Funny thing about that," he suddenly mentions. "Ages ago, I bought one of those crazy kits. You know. 'Build your own spacecraft' kind of thing. I never started it. Would you like it?"
     My mouth drops that he'd just up and give me something like that. They're mega-expensive. I almost say yes when I try to think about it logically. "I don't have room for it." I'm bummed. I really wanted to build something like that. Then, an idea hits me. "Couldn't we just build it at your house?"
     The sun may be setting behind him, but it just came out on his face. "Yeah. That would be great. Maybe having you working on it with me will finally help me complete it."
     Am I smiling? "This is going to be so cool!" My phone beeps.

     "It's Dad," I tell Alex. "Bella refuses to go to bed unless 'Sissy' is there to put her to bed."
     Alex chuckles, and I wonder what exactly about that he finds funny.
     "I've gotta go."
     "Of course. No problem. Hey, any time you want to get started, just come by. Even if I'm not there, you can go ahead and get started without me." He smiles.
     I try to smile back. "Okay." Then, I wave to go home so that my little sister will go to sleep.

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A/N: Next chapter will have this scene told from Alex's p.o.v. followed by a bit from what Drake is up to. :)

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