Chain Reaction 2.56: Brighter Than the Sun

     I still don't understand Alex's expression, but I do know that I can't let him leave like that. I run out after him.

     When I get out on the porch, I find that he'd stopped or at least paused here, maybe hoping that I'd do just what I did. He spins around, and the look on his face shows immense relief, but then some thought enters his mind to cloud over his expression.
     "I hate him. I'm sorry, but I hate him. I tried, Emily, I really tried, but he's a stubborn, judgmental jackas*!" What do I say? "He's your father; I'll try to understand if you want to stick around and reassure him."
     "Alex..." I still don't know what to say!

     He starts ticking off his grievances one by one. "He doesn't believe me when I tell him this has nothing to do with Brielle; he thinks I'm just like my father; he's incapable of forgiving me for what I did to him even though I've apologized; he's lived a happy life when I've been miserable; then, when happiness is within my grasp, he's doing everything he can to prevent it!"
     "Alex, calm down. Just take a deep breath."
     He points to the inside of the house. "He had you believing him! I saw that look on your face. Do you really think that you're nothing but a 'replacement Brielle' to me? I thought you understood that you most certainly are not, but now, I'm not so sure. You doubt my sincerity, Emily? Did I not just do everything I could to prove the opposite?"
     "The opposite of your sincerity?"

     He sighs and puts his hand on his forehead. "No, that the opposite of what your dad thinks is truth."
     "Then, yes, you did. You shouldn't have to, and you're right. I believed him for a few minutes. I'm sorry. The incorrect assumption was easier to believe because I just can't understand why you would love...me."

     "You often accuse me of being self-deprecating. Don't you fall into the same trap. The better question would be why wouldn't I love you?"
     I step closer to him. "Well, you hate my father, for one."
     "It's actually not that uncommon of a concept. And that doesn't matter. In fact, it just makes you more amazing."
     "I'm a whole generation younger than you."
     He smirks in a way that makes my insides shake. "Hasn't stopped me before. Besides, you've always been mentally above your generation."
     "In some ways." I refer to my less-than-stellar competency with social interactions. Then, I think of another way: "I mean, I know I frustrate you." Please know what I mean by 'frustrate.'
     "Oh, Emily," he breathes and pulls me to him.

     Until right now, I'd not realized how badly I needed his arms around me. All is right with the world and nothing else matters.
     He whispers, "You have no idea."
     "I'm sorry." I know he's used to a much more physical relationship than what I'm giving him. It's just that in those moments things are so intense that I fear it's more than I can take.
     "No, no. That's not what I meant. You have no idea how much that excites me. You've never experienced real love. And I want to show you. I want to teach you what that's like."
     My voice has an irritatingly-whiny aspect to it as I say, "And I'm not letting you."
     He holds me more tightly. "That's not true. Restraint is part of it. How can it possibly be loving if I push you past a point where you're comfortable?"
     I'm shaking. This conversation is so hot for some reason. He wants to love me, not just make love to me. With Drake, after that first time--in Alex's bed--I just fooled around because that's what he expected. It was clinical, empty. He didn't even care if I enjoyed it. I let him because he was always in a better mood afterwards.
     "Move in with me, Emily." He kisses my neck while I gasp. "Come live a life of being loved."

     I'm still trying to catch my breath when he continues, "I'll move downstairs to Drake's room. You can have the whole master suite to yourself." He listens to my breathing for a moment. "I say that because I want to make sure you understand that I'm asking so that I can have you with me. I don't like being alone." Even with Masami around, I can still understand how he feels alone. "Come brighten my world with your presence."
     The man should've been a poet! "My...my dad," I manage to say.
     "I guarantee you he already knows. At the very least, he suspects something like this could happen. Stop worrying about him." He lightly shakes me, more of a gentle wiggle than anything.
     "My own room?"
     I can feel him smile against my neck. "Yes. I'll give you your space when you need it and love you like you deserve when you can handle it." He implies that he truly understands my occasionally being overwhelmed.
     I ask a silly question: "How do you know me so well?"
     His chest slightly vibrates with a deep chuckle. "I've known you almost your entire life. In my denial of the facts in front of me and my own personal misery, I watched but didn't see as my worthless son did whatever he could to destroy you. One way to put it is he tried to suck all the light out of you. I want to put it back again so that you can shine brighter than the sun."
     I can't stop the tears as they run twin rivers down my cheeks. He only catches on that I'm quietly crying when I sniff.
     "Emily?" He pulls back and looks at me. "No, my love, don't cry!"
     I step back. "I'm fine."

     "Are you sure?" He starts wiping my cheeks.
     "Yes. Let me... Let me just go get a few things."
     "What could you possibly need that I couldn't buy you?"
     "I need to tell my parents." He's afraid that if I walk back inside that I won't walk back out again.
     "Don't take too long," he says, confirming my suspicion with his tone. "I'll be right here."

     When I tell my parents, my mom walks up and hugs me, understanding. When Dad hugs me, he doesn't let go. I have to work hard to reassure him that I'm not leaving him because I'm going to go live with Alex, but it really takes Mom calming him down for him to finally loosen his grip. The look on his face breaks my heart, and I vow to make sure he knows that I'm not abandoning him forever. I'm not going to disappear.

     We walk inside Alex's...our penthouse, and he watches me carefully. Facing me, he takes my hands in his. "Are you okay? I was thinking... If you want, we can find you your own apartment, in this building even." He smirks at himself. "You would just have a very frequent visitor."
     "No. Having that whole space upstairs to myself is fine." Still, this is a huge step.
     "Emily, I wanted you to move in with me to, yes, eliminate the lonely feeling in this house, but also... to get you away from your parents. I'm not going to lie. The fact that you were still living with them bothered me that I wasn't welcome to just pop by whenever I wanted." His thumbs caress my hands.
     "I... I-I-I guessed that." As long as I was with them, I was Daddy's little girl. I'm not anymore. I know that's probably what he was implying just now.

     Like I almost expect, he kisses my hands. "Okay. As long as you know. And it's not like I don't expect you to visit them. In fact, you should because I don't see them wanting to come over here. I wouldn't turn them away if they did." The smile on his face makes me mirror it. He looks like a child up to no good. "Of course, I might just disappear to my office should that happen." He holds a single finger away from the others and acts like he's about to suck on it, but I jerk my hands away before he can. He grins in a playful way.

     "So... I'll go ahead and start moving my things into Drake's room." He pauses. "Unless you'd rather take Drake's room?"
     I shake my head rapidly. The thought of everything in there reminding me of Drake repulses me. "No thank you."
     He laughs softly. "I thought not. In the meantime..."

     "...Make yourself at home."
     I giggle. I love it when he gets playful.

     Again, like I expect, he kisses my hand. However, I gasp when his tongue comes out to lick the back of it. Glancing up at me, he continues up my arm before pulling me to him.

     "I forgot to say thank you," he mumbles before I'm treated to his fantastic kissing ability. He kisses me with so much hope and joy that it's impossible not to get caught up in it.

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