Rose 2.64: Shrine

Shauna

     I fly out of Donovan's bedroom. Once in the living room, I suddenly halt. I'd wanted to leave the little house, but...damn him! I'm trapped! He should be home in ten minutes, and I don't want him to carry through on his threat to rabidly hunt me down, probably scaring Camilla.

      Ten minutes turn into twenty, and, needing a distraction, I pick up a random book and start reading. It's a great romance novel, and I'm surprised it was on a man's bookshelf. I turn the cover over again, and only now do I notice Donovan's father wrote it. No wonder Mrs Robles misses him so. 

     Before I know it, I'm over halfway done with the book. Donovan still isn't home. I get up to use the restroom, and when I come back, I don't want to read any more of it tonight.

     Where IS he? Is this some sort of a test? Did he secretly want to come barging into the main house looking for me? Well, I won't let him. 

     I don't know how much time I'll be here, so I let myself doze on the couch, not wanting to step one foot into that bedroom again.

     Someone lightly shakes my shoulder. "Shauna, wake up."

     I slowly open my eyes. My neck hurts, and it takes me a minute to remember where I am.

     "Wake up," I hear Donovan say again.

     "I'm awake," I say and stretch. He looks to be thoroughly enjoying watching me stretch, and I want to slap him, also remembering his little shrine in the bedroom. I glare at him. "Well, you know I was here, so you won't go charging into the main house. But I'm in no mood to talk to you. Goodnight, Donovan." I get up and walk towards the door.

     "Where are you going?" he asks in a hurt way. Hurt. Ha!

     His hands reach up and hold my shoulders. I decide to stop, figuring he'd just catch me anyway, but I fold my arms and look away. I wonder how he's going to talk his way out this time.

     Since I still haven't said a word, he asks, "What's wrong?" Then, he stands up straightly behind me, and he drops his hands. "So," he says in a belligerent way, "you've decided I'm more monster than man and only stuck around so I wouldn't 'accidentally frighten my little flower.'" His tone implies he was bluffing about charging into the house.

     I spin around and glare at him. His face remains impassive. I'm so mad that I don't know how to begin to describe it.

     "Will you let me explain first?" he asks humbly.

     "I don't know if that's wise on my part, given your gift of words," I snarl.

     He lets out a huff of a sigh. "If you would just be patient, I can start back at the beginning." He pauses. "Would you like to sit down?"

     "No thank you," I snap back.

     He sighs again, this one resigned. "When you decided to stop seeing me, I didn't let on how much it hurt. I still thought I didn't want to be serious with anyone."

     I snort, thinking of the shrine to Tiffany.

     He continues. "I found myself alone. Sure, I was very busy with studying and just getting by on almost no money, but I was incredibly lonely. Willow had vanished." He pauses, acting like he's trying to remember something, "That sorority girl called me almost every day, but I didn't want her." He mutters under his breath, "What was her name?"

     I look over at him with an irritated 'really?' expression like I can't believe he forgot her name. Hanna.

     He stops trying to remember and continues, "Then, one day, Tiffany texted me-"

     I explode. "Yes! Tiffany! Let's talk about Tiffany!"

     His mouth drops, and he throws his hands out. "What?" he asks like he has no idea where my outburst came from.

     "So, Tiffany sends you one, little text and you decide that must mean she's the one so you bring her here and you two get married and have a baby before you go kiss whoever that woman was and she leaves you only to die in a plane crash! I know the story, Donovan! I also know you never got over it!" I inwardly beg myself not to start crying. He would misinterpret it. I'm furious.

     He looks utterly confused. "I got over it as much as any man can that had his wife that wanted to divorce him anyway die in a plane crash, leaving a son that would never know her!"

     I scream, "So, every other widower on the planet keeps a little shrine to that dead almost-ex-wife on their bedside table?!"

     'Oh, plum,' gets written all over Donovan's face. I can tell even with the damn sunglasses hiding his eyes.

     "Yeah. That's right," I snap and spin around, meaning 'that's right; I saw it.'

     I should've known, but I'm surprised when he reaches out and tightly grasps my waist. Then, in an even tone, he repeats, "Yeah. That's right."

     "Let go of me, Donovan," I plead, trying to wiggle free as his arms wrap completely around me.

     His arms tighten. "No." He takes a breath. "You need to listen to this."

     "No. I'm tired," I argue, but he stubbornly holds onto me.

     "I was a wreck for years after she died. I'd badly hurt her when I'd kissed Willow."

     "Willow?!" I exclaim.

     "Yes. She is Camilla's mother," he explains calmly.

     I fight him with every word. "Oh. This. Just. Gets. Better!" Nope. He's no different than he was in college. He just has a wilder appetite. And now I need to catch a plane to Lucky Palms to beat the crap out of Willow!

     "I am explaining the 'shrine,' as you call it," he reiterates.

     "I don't want to listen!" I snarl, still struggling.

     His voice sounds sweet as he begs, "Please, Shauna." He kisses my neck through my hair. "Please let me tell you."

     "Damn you, Robles!" I exclaim, but I don't have the power behind it that I had before. His breath on my throat gives me goosebumps.
     "If you run off now, you'll do nothing but get more mad, so I'll hold onto you and tell you why it's still there." He lovingly kisses the back of my shoulder. At least, it feels that way anyway. I say nothing, so he continues, "Her family asked to bury her body in her hometown, and we let them. I had no gravemarker, no urn. I refurbished that side table and set things up on it. I feel terrible I never got a chance to make things right with her. I don't want to disassemble the collection because I feel like I've already done enough bad things to her, at the very least I could keep that as a remembrance." He kisses my neck again. "It's mostly guilt, Shauna, that it's still there. I'll move it. First thing tomorrow." His hands move across my stomach. I hear him breathe in near my ear, and he kisses me just behind it. "I'd move it now, but I'm more interested in holding my beautiful Shauna."
     "Donovan..." I say in warning. "I'm still very upset. She hated me, and to walk in and see that..."
     "Shh. I will tell you something to make you feel better." He pauses, and I listen. "It makes me very nervous to say this, to let you know, but it will help. I realized...that it was in losing you that made me want her. I was afraid to be a lonely man."

     His hands move much more audaciously, and I gasp. "I still don't want to be a lonely man. I know what I want, what I've always wanted, and that's you." The hand on my stomach moves lower and begins a slow torture, not caring my dress is in the way.
     I let out a cry and lean my head back against his shoulder, barely able to stand for the second time today. The hand on my chest squeezes me almost to the point of pain.
     He speaks into my ear like he did in the greenhouse. "Now, my biggest question: What do I do to you first? Mm? What should I do now that I finally have my beautiful Shauna? You've tortured me for weeks with your fantastic body."
     I moan but still manage to talk. "Torture...nothing. I was...right here."
     He chuckles in his chest, continuing to toy with me. "But I wanted to spare you this side of me."
     "Not very...nice of...you."
     He very quietly mumbles, "I want to make you scream. You will have to use a pillow so you can muffle the sound." I feel his breath on my ear before he quickly wiggles his tongue back and forth on my earlobe next to my earring.
     I remember something. "I'm not going...in that... bedroom!"
     He chuckles again and says, "We don't have to go into the bedroom. I'm not planning on letting you sleep."

     He's all over me, his hands lingering in his favorite places. Then he moans and tells me, "My beautiful Shauna, you have done nothing but become more sexy."
     "No, I haven't," I argue, somehow managing to get my brain to function. It's a bit easier with his hand not torturing me like it was.
     He laughs in his throat. "Shall I prove it to you? That was fun while we were at university, and now I have more to play with."
     His hands squeeze me as he acts like he enjoys every part of my body.
     Then what he said sinks in. "More to... More to..." He thinks I'm fat! Donovan starts pulling up my skirt. My voice sounds annoyingly whiny as I say, "I know I've gained weight. I can't help it. I've tried. I'm sorry you're disgusted by it."
      "I have never liked how you saw yourself. You are not listening to me. You are perfect!" He takes a deep breath. "That is what I'll do first: teach you how you're perfect."
     "Donovan..."
     He puts his finger on my lips. "Shh. Listen to me. I will cover every wonderful part of you, and you will listen. For the sake of every other thing I want to do to you, you need to first see yourself as I see you. Can you at least understand that?"
     I nod my head.
     "Good," he says with a small smile and kisses the tip of my nose. The haziness in my thoughts starts to clear, and I think he made it like that on purpose. I decide I'm right when all he does for a few moments is lightly stroke my cheeks with his thumbs. When I look up at him again, I see he's removed the sunglasses.
     I can't help it and throw my arms around his neck to happily kiss him. He grunts like he didn't expect that, but then he holds me in his arms and kisses me back. One of his hands moves down to hold my rear end, but I jump when he pulls it back and pops me hard. I open my eyes in shock.
     "No distracting me," he explains with a smirk.
     I quickly say, "I was happy the sunglasses are gone. I wasn't distracting you."
     He raises his eyebrows. "And in moments like this, don't argue with me."
     "I'm not arguing with you!" I protest.
     One eyebrow raises now as he waits for me to realize what I just did. I do nothing but purse my lips when I figure it out, and he smiles.

     Donovan does exactly what he says he'll do: he goes over every part of me, and he does make me scream like he promised. I've never felt more beautiful in my entire life. I've always worried about my weight, but when Donovan gets to my stomach, what I think is my worst area, he tells me that even the belly of a stick woman will roll up when she sits.
     "I ask you something, Shauna. Which would you rather lie down upon: a bed of rocks and sticks or one of soft pillows?" he asks me before he finally makes love to me on the floor of the little house. I love watching him lose himself inside me, and he passionately tells me he loves me in a fantastic, timeless moment.

    I lie on my back on the cold tiles of the little house's incomplete kitchen, Donovan lightly running his fingers across my face.
    "I will move the things out of my bedroom right now if you would sleep with me tonight," he tells me in a begging way.
    Where was that 'darkness' you spoke of, Donovan? I think with a smile, running my fingernails around on his gorgeous chest.
    "Will you stay?" he outright asks.
    "As long as you want," I answer.


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-Skye age to mature adult
-warning about Giacomo's death


For a more in-depth, adult version of this chapter, go here. I posted it on that blog so that it could have the warning.

Click here to go to 2.65