I'd had no idea Camilla wanted her ears pierced. With a trace of melancholy, I remember that her first simlish word was jewel. I guess that carried over.
Why does Shauna have to look so delicious? And her sweet personality only adds to it.
Nana, dammit! It helps to call her Nana instead. Every time I think or say her real name, I have too-pleasant memories of moaning it as a student.
Camilla chatters with her about jewelry, and Shauna, Nana, patiently listens, answering questions when my little flower asks. I have never seen Camilla act so friendly to someone outside the family, but it's not hard to believe that Shauna, Nana, brings that out in people. Plus, as I recall, Shauna was once a bit shy herself.
She bends down to blow air into the pipe, and I wish I were the pipe. As it is, this is a great view of her ass.
"Papa?" Camilla asks, wondering if I'm okay. Shauna...NANA almost drops the pipe in her hand, and I wonder if she'd succeeded in convincing herself I wasn't here. Camilla talking to me reminded her.
"I'm fine, little flower. I just wanted to sit here and rest while we wait," I tell her calmly.
"But..." she points to ...Nana, and says, "you're missing it. Nana is that way."
I turn my head around to look at the beautiful blonde, and our eyes meet, even though she can't see mine.
"I know, but this stool is set up pointed this way," I reply, blaming the article of furniture's placement on the lot instead of admitting that it's easier for me if I don't watch her.
Camilla gives me a strange look, and I try to smile. Then, she turns her attention to Sh-...Nana. "Are you finished yet? May I see? May I? Please? How long until you're finished?"
The blonde bombshell laughs sweetly and leans down to dip the glass into the coloring again. Facing this way doesn't help. I can still see her reflection in the glass, and when she bends over, I want to roll around on the floor kicking and screaming like a toddler having a fit, yelling 'it's not fair!'
I take a deep breath and remind myself that I need to have nothing to do with that curvaceous beauty.
"Camilla, I'm going to put them in the kiln now, would you like to see?" Shauna asks.
Stop it! Stop being so wonderful! You're not making this easier! I put my hand on my forehead, turn around, and walk a few paces away. I can't watch how motherly Shauna is with my daughter as she shows her to do what she's doing without letting my little flower get hurt.
I hear the woman I keep forgetting to call Nana say, "This is going to take several minutes. Why don't you paint something for Papa? I saw some easels and paint right there in the next room."
No. No no. No no no no no no no no no! Not alone! I can't trust myself!
"Okay!" Camilla replies happily, and I hear the door open and close.
Immediately, the atmosphere in the room changes.
"I wanted to talk to you," I hear from that sweet voice.
I bravely turn to face her. "What about?" Sweet Shauna, the woman of my happier fantasies is standing an arm's length away. I could easily seduce her in under a minute, have her panting for me. I'm grateful for the sunglasses. I can keep my face pointed at hers while my eyes happily travel downward. I take a deep breath. Perhaps I could give her a short tour of the little house tonight...
Maker help me, she blushes. "A-about yesterday."
"Yes? What about it?"
"You told your mom I dumped you. Well, you said I told you I didn't want to date you anymore," she says, and she frowns.
"That is what happened, is it not? You told me you were looking for something serious and that you'd found someone else, and you wanted to have a committed relationship with him." This is better. If I think about that day, if I can remind myself how much it surprisingly hurt, I can better resist her. After all, she's still a woman.
"I don't...really remember it that way." She looks down in a shy way.
My brows come together. "Then how do you remember it?"
"Well, when I told you, I'd thought that... I'd hoped that..." Her face screws up. "N-never mind." She moves to walk away to the stairs, but I reach out and pull her to me.
She doesn't resist but watches me warily. "That what?" I ask. Oh, I never should've touched her! I think as I stubbornly reach up to touch her face. Since she hasn't answered me, I continue, "That I would want to stop you?" Her eyes say yes.
I should lie to her. I should say that it was easy to let her go.
I whisper, strangely thinking that this will keep the other side of me from hearing, "I should have."
DONOVAN! I scream at myself in my head. NO! This is not what you need to do! This is doing the opposite of what you need to do to save her from you.
She finds her voice again. "Dating Scott was the biggest mistake of my life. Everything started out great, and we got married. We went through some rough times. He started treating me like he no longer cared. I tried harder, but that only made him pull away more."
"And so you got a divorce," I say in a questioning kind of way.
"Yes, and I quit my job because, well, he was my boss too," she tells me. "I thought back over my life, wondering where everything went wrong."
He was a lucky man. He had a beautiful wife that cared about him, and for whatever reason, that wasn't enough.
She continues, "And I realized it was THAT moment. I'd wanted to push you into something you weren't ready for. I wanted to skip ahead, so I found someone else that wanted what I wanted. Then, when I found out that you and her were a couple, I was crushed but knew I had no one but myself to blame."
I would love to explain everything to her, how I'd realized I needed to be a one-woman man not long after that. I would have happily chosen her, but I knew she was with someone else. But that is not the plan. I need to push her away.
Hating myself, I say a truth but put it in the wrong context. "Yes. You had no one but yourself to blame." I drop my arms, turn, and walk away from her.
It was losing Shauna that made me choose Tiffany, I realize, and I reach up to run my fingers through my hair, wanting to pull out of my head the realization that I've always wanted Shauna just a little bit more. Only now, I've become someone she doesn't need in her life.
"I'm sorry," she says quietly.
"Sorry? Why are you sorry? You did what you needed to do, what we all do in times like those." I need to lie; I need to tell her that I got over it. I can't get myself to form the words.
Then, she speaks again, and she crushes my resolve. "It's not too late, Donovan. If you want, we can start again. You know that's why I'm here! We could make up for lost time. I would very happily be a mother to your wonderful children."
I CAN'T STAND IT! I spin around and grab her.
She cries out in surprise when I pounce upon those fantastic lips.
Just one more! I need to kiss her one more time. I need to hold her soft body against me. I need to feel her breath on my lips, her hair in my fingers. Oh, Shauna!
She kisses me back with a passion to match my own, threading her hands into my hair before balling them into fists. Her tongue meets every move of mine, both of them dancing in perfect sync.
A timer starts going off. Camilla's earrings are finished.
I couldn't even last the length of the timer! I mentally gasp, and Shauna regrettably pulls away, her eyes sparkling a 'to be continued' message. I'm glad once again she can't see mine.
This has to stop. Now. For her sake, I cannot let her think we've started over.
She happily presents Camilla with the earrings, and Camilla gets her ears pierced. Her determination to wear the jewelry pushes her past her fear of pain, and she only mouths an 'ow' and sheds a few tears.
"Have you finished your painting?" I ask my precious daughter.
She nods slowly, but she says, "But I started another one."
"You can go finish it if you like. Papa and Nana are still needing to talk to each other."
Camilla reflects Shauna's smile as she says, "Okay!"
Once my little flower leaves, I angrily grab Shauna. Her shock couldn't be larger.
She looks down sadly, but she stubbornly shakes her head. "No, you're not."
"Yes, I am! What do I have to do?" I pant, and I speak without thinking, "I could woohoo your brains out then personally drop you off at the airport, making sure you leave. Would that do it?"
A pained expression rules her face while my heart plummets with the crass thing I said. Then, her resolve strengthens, and she asks, "Why are you afraid of me?"
That brings me up short, and I back my head up in shocked surprise. "What?"
Her fantastic eyes look up at me. "Why do you one minute kiss me like I'm an answer to prayer and then the next shove me away, saying mean things to hurt me?"
"Because I don't want to really hurt you," I reply, my voice feeling trapped in my throat. "Shauna, you're my last hope. I have to know that somewhere out there in the world some speck of goodness still exists. If you stay with me, I will snuff it out."
She gives me a very determined look and says, "I'm not so easily 'snuffed out,' Donovan." Then, she holds my face in her hands and kisses me.
The kiss is too short! She pulls back and looks at me with a daring expression. She is taunting me!
You are asking for it!
She expects me to violently kiss her back, but I don't want to give that to her for that simple reason. Instead, I hold her chin and very lightly brush my lips against hers. She tries to move forward into me to make me want to kiss her harder, but I press her back against the wall and control her chin, planting slow, deliberate kisses on her sweet lips.
I am bad for her, so very wrong for her. I should stop, but I know what she just did. She used her kiss to show she can control me. I'll kiss her back like this to prove she can't.
Her trembling body cushions me while I keep her pressed against the wall. Over and over, she tries to tempt me to do more, but I won't. In fact, just because I can, I slowly run my tongue along her lower lip. One of her hands moves down over my ass, and she squeezes. I moan. That almost works. Almost, but I'm too good at doling out my own brand of torture.
'What...are you doing?' my inner voice asks.
I decide to leave her mouth and deliver feathery kisses elsewhere. I'm enjoying this. I'm teaching her a lesson. She can't control me.
'She got you to kiss her...'
"Donovan..." she whispers breathlessly. "Please."
'There. She's learned it. Now, get off her!'
I do as my inner voice demands, continuing to hold Shauna still. Then, I deliver my blow. "I will not restart anything with you, Shauna. It would kill me if I wound up being the cause of you losing your sweet self." I step away, leaving her panting against the wall. I keep my face impassive while walking out of the room to go tell my little flower it is time to go home.
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Yep, Donny's still an ass. Not that I expected him to change, but he needs to pull himself together. He is toxic to himself and everyone around him in this state. If he doesn't get his act together, his relationship with his children will never recover. Hell I think it's already over and done with for the older boy. All that talk about Tiffany, loving her and whatever to me now seems like he was just blowing smoke out his ass. His 'grief' has more to do with guilt than love. He he really loved Tiffany he would be cherishing more the last piece he has of her, but he barely knows his son. He sure as hell doesn't take care of him and I wouldn't blame the child for not wanting a relationship with him. He is half-assed trying with Camilla and I don't think he's done anything with the new baby at all. :(
ReplyDeleteStill an ass. Yeah, I know you didn't. :)
DeleteLorenzo is a very good-natured teen. He's simply one of those people that sees the best in others, and he gives his dad probably too much slack for his behavior. But you're right, he'll be an adult before everyone even realizes it, and then he may just run off with his friends. However, he's very protective of Camilla, kind of filling in some for Donovan on the 'dad' role.
It's hard for Donovan to even look at Arlen. Whenever he sees him, all he sees is his past mistake and the product of that mistake. Hopefully, Shauna can show him that Arlen is worth his attention.