Chain Reaction 3.1.49: Thrill Ride

Backing up a few minutes...

Kyra Joyson

     Just. Breathe.

     After standing here for a full minute, worried I'd been stood up, Alaric came strutting over before greeting me like one of the 'dudes.' Then he hugs me--not like one of the dudes. No, it's a body-pressing, muscular-arms-encircling, he-smelled-my-hair hug.

    For a full week, my friends and I have been preparing me for this. Laura helped me pick out this dress; Steph tamed the wild mane on my head; Amy did my makeup (because my hands wouldn't stop shaking); and Elle let me borrow her awesome shoes. (I'm also borrowing Mom's jewelry. I'll put it back before she notices it's missing.)

      At least he notices. That's a plus, right? He's not acting TOTALLY CLUELESS like he frequently does when I try, and fail, to lead a conversation anywhere near flirting.

      As for him, he doesn't have to try to look good. All he has to do is that little smile of his and I see my old childhood friend peeking out from behind the 'tough guy' look.

      When he asked me out, I nearly fainted. At the time, it felt so out of the blue. He just said, "Hey, let's check out the love festival next Saturday night. Do you want to?" He asked it so effortlessly. All I could do was nod a yes.

     Our first date: I could squeal right here and now. Thank the Maker, I manage to keep my cool.

     "Isn't that the famous sakura tea back there in those fountains?" I ask, motioning to them. I'm hoping the tea will help me loosen up and stop feeling so jittery.

      He suddenly looks worried. "I don't know, Kyra. I've been warned about the tea. It makes people act like crazy romantic nutcases."

      I try to smile. "Well, that would make sense, right? It IS the romance festival after all."

      "Yeah, well, that stuff's really just for couples." The way he says it implies we're NOT a couple.

      Wait, what? For the first time, I question whether or not he sees this as a date. Oh no. I must look like a complete idiot. I got this dressed up for a FRIEND'S OUTING.

       I fight hard to keep my composure from slipping, but I don't know how successful I am. Right now, I just want to go home and cry under my covers. And this after everything I've been doing to let him know that it's not too weird that Kate is my best friend. It's been over a year since they broke up, and he'd stopped talking about her months ago. Kate outright told me she hoped he and I would get together, so I know she's okay with it.

      I shiver, the night air slicing into my bare arms like jagged razor blades. He notices.

      "Hey, are you cold? I'm sorry I didn't bring a jacket." It'd been unusually warm today, but that looks to be changing. He points to a nearby club. "Let's go inside, okay?"

      A traitorous tear tries to escape as I nod, and I act like I'm scratching my face as I turn away from him, walking to where he pointed.

     When we sit down, he sort of wraps his arm around me, his hand resting somewhere between my hip and my lower back. "Better?" This surprises me. That's NOT something he would do with a friend, right? Maybe by 'couple,' he meant established couples. We're just starting out.

     My mood lifts a fraction. "Yes," I reply, meaning it in more ways than one.

     He keeps staring at me! "You know, with the exception of the cheesy holiday decorations, this place has a really romantic lighting setup."

     "Yeah." Is he going to kiss me?! Yes, please impulsively kiss me, Alaric. 

     "That must be partly why they chose this spot to host the festival."

     "Uh huh." More brilliant banter coming from my end of the conversation. What can I do? I'm clueless when it comes to this stuff. But maybe if I just agree with him, I won't interrupt his train of thought and he'll kiss me.

     "This is a good place to bring a date."

     "It is." Any minute now... 

     He takes a breath. "Look, I'm sorry I'm staring at you so much. I've always thought you were pretty, but tonight, you take my breath away. Sorry if that's weird."

     Not a date? But... "Why would that be weird?"

     "Because you're one of my best friends." He removes his hand from behind me.

     No. Do not 'friend zone' me, Alaric Goth. I've got to turn this around, and with him staring at me like this, I might stand a chance.

     I take his hand, surprising him.

     "And you're one of mine, but that doesn't mean..." I pause. He puts his other hand on mine, but I can't bring myself to say it! Why can't I just finish with 'that doesn't mean we can't date'?!

     He closely watches my inner struggle, and a tiny smile plays on his lips while he turns his gaze to our hands. PLEASE understand what I'm unable to say! He squeezes my hands and pulls away before sighing and leaning back against the seat. He stares at nothing in particular while my mood plummets again. It's like the world's worst thrill ride.

     A little chuckle escapes him, and he turns his head.

      "But that doesn't mean you can't sit there and effortlessly drive me out of my mind." He wears an almost sad smile when I look at him in surprise. What is it, Alaric? Do you like me or not? "I know, I know. I'm being weird again, but Kyra, think about it. I'm still a guy, and you look SO GOOD."

      Plum it. I'm going to kiss HIM.

      But before I can, he surprises me, "So that's why I should just..."

     "...TICKLE YOU SENSELESS!"

     "No!" I'm laughing, but on the inside, I'm anything but. The whole moment is ruined! He basically just admitted that he's desperately trying to remain only friends, whether or not he may or may not be attracted to me.

     I am so MAD at him right now!

     When he finally lets up, I shove him backwards. Not expecting it, I take him by surprise, which shows on his face as I get up and stomp several steps away.

     "Kyra, wait!"

     I spin around to find he's gotten up to chase after me.

      "You don't get it, do you? I've been trying to drop hints for months, and here I'd thought you'd FINALLY understood."

      "No, apparently I DON'T understand."

      "And I'm starting to wonder if you ever will. I wish I had the nerve to tell you, but I'm sorry, I don't." 

     "Kyra, I have been guilty in the past for trying to see something that isn't there, and it's embarrassing when that happens. You and I make great friends."

      I jump in. "And that's just it. I don't WANT to JUST be your friend, Alaric!"

      Even with the music in the background, it gets eerily quiet while we stare at one another. Slowly, it dawns on me what I just said. Oh, plum! I just said it! 

       My feet act stuck to the floor while Alaric Goth just looks at me with wide eyes.

       "You... Kyra, you... like me?"

       "No," I blurt out, lying. Then my heart sinks. I can't take it! It's too much, so I turn and make a run for it, mentally thanking my friend for her well-balanced heels.