Chain Reaction 3.1.21: Dating Woes

    After our bath, Darrin tells me he's exhausted and wants to sleep. I smile and let him go to bed. Then I go downstairs to get a few hours' work done, never bothering to get dressed. I'm warm enough after all that activity--and knowing I have Darrin back warms my heart.
    I think I hear movement upstairs, so I go see if he's awake.

    He walks out of the bedroom.
    "Hey," I say happily.
    "Hi." He doesn't sound as happy. Maybe he has a hangover. I ask him if he needs painkillers. "Yeah, but I'll get them at home." He acts surprised I'm naked. "Mike, I don't know what came over me last night."

     "You got drunk and came over. Don't you remember?" Uh oh. What if he doesn't?

     He closes his eyes and exhales out his nose. "Oh plum." He wipes his forehead, keeping his eyes closed. "I really, really need to stay away from tequila." Pause. "I'm sorry, Mike."
    "It's okay. We worked things out. You told me I'm not a bad guy."
    "We f--ked, didn't we?" He finally opens his eyes.
    "Yeeeaaah... I guess you could call it that."
    "Oh, maker, Mike. I'm such an as*hole." He looks apologetic. "I'm sorry. I was out of line. I never should've bothered you, especially when all I needed to do was really think."

     "But you did think." I don't like this. "You decided." We got back together! Right?
     "I never should've said any of that. That was only half of me talking." He covers his eyes with one hand and sighs. "And with the morning comes clarity." He looks at me again.
     "What are you talking about?"
     "You're bad for me, Michael. I claim to be able to stop then can't. Then I don't let you get on with your life. Then I get drunk because I don't want to decide one way or the other."
     "But you did decide. You love me."
     "I love you like a heroin addict loves their next hit. The point is you're wrong for me, even though my physical attraction to you is incredible. This could never work."
     "I'm calling bullsh*t, Darrin."

     "Bullsh*t on what?"
     "This is more than just physical. You and me: we get along great. We have so much in common." I don't like his bland expression.
     "Maybe. Except for one key detail, a detail I have struggled mightily with. We're on opposing sides of the law. Now, as a way to prove how sorry I am to have done this to you, I'm going to forget everything you've told me." He means Landgraab. "Your record, according to the state, is still clean."
     "What are you saying? That you're breaking up with me?!"
     "We never actually got back together."
     BAM!

     I punch him square in the jaw, surprising both of us. Not ready for it, he staggers to the side.
     "You're right, Darrin. You are an as*hole." I back up, furious and afraid. Darrin is pissed off. "I don't know what's wrong with you other than you're crazy. How could you do this to me? You chase me around for weeks, saying you made a big mistake. Then, we have a night where I feel like we got back together, yet all it really was was you using me."

     "Out."
     "I can't believe you did that." He's still on the fact that I punched him. He looks much more shocked than mad now.
     "I mean it, Darrin. Get out."
     He shrugs. "Fine."
     "And don't come back. For any reason. At all."
     "No problem." He gathers his clothes and puts them in his inventory, not bothering to put them on.

     "I don't ever want to see you again. Even if, after whatever time has passed, you decide this was a mistake and want me back. Don't go chasing me around. Don't keep tabs on me. Don't interfere with my life."
     He says nothing, but I'm not done with my tirade.
     "IF I ever see you again, I will get a restraining order!

     "I can imagine that wouldn't look too good for your 'super-cop' reputation!"
     "I'm sorry, Mike."
     "OUT!"
     He shuts the door.

     How could Darrin do this to me? How could he screw with my emotions so much, torturing me, then act like he wants to be with me only to deny feeling that way in the early morning light? I can't believe him. He was so sincere last night yet so cold this morning. It's like he needed to get the lust out of his system, and now he has.
     I wipe my face. He deserved that punch. He deserves more. What I got was worse than a punch. I got used.
     And I fear he'll do it again. It may be weeks, months, a year, ten years, I don't know, but I fear it'll all happen again. He compared me to a narcotic! Lust.
     "Well," I say aloud, "I won't let it happen. I mean it. I've had enough. I'm done with him."
     I brush the remaining tears off my face and go to bed--where I cry myself to sleep.

     A week passes, and there is no sign of Darrin. Just in case, I've been keeping an eye out, paranoid. I meant it when I said I'd get the restraining order.
     Another month, and I hope that Ivy has forgiven me. The first week after I threw Darrin out of my house, she posted a rant video about her 'friend' getting pushed aside for an ex-lover and how that drove her up the wall--her catch phrase.
     This won't be easy.

     I get her voicemail. "Hi, Ivy. It's Mike. I was thinking about you and thought I'd give you a call. I was hoping that we could get together, maybe for dinner, sometime? We really need to catch up. Anyway, give me a call back."

      Am I a pathetic loser?
     Yes.
      Will she call me back?
      Not a chance. But I have to start somewhere.

Alaric

      With the heaps of snow on the ground, the skatepark is practically unusable. It seems just as soon as we get the concrete cleared off, more snow arrives.

     It's not a huge deal, though. The guys and I find plenty to do with our time.
     "Snow is cold." Trey has entertained himself by making a snow angel.
     "No sh*t, dumbass." Dirk laughs.
     Chaz sniffs. "These fumes are messing with my head."
     Trey can't resist. "Everything wants to mess with Chaz's head."
     I watch out of the corner of my eye as he rolls his. "Yeah." He sniffs again. "You know, if I'm gonna get dizzy from too many fumes, I may as well make it count." He means the 'bubble blower' on the other side of the wall. It's out of public view where some college guys 'donated' it.
     This perks Trey right up. "I'm game. C'mon, Alaric."
     Dirk glances sideways at me. "Go on, man. I wanna add the finishing touches myself."
     "K." I put down my spray can and join the guys going around the wall.

     We all have our turn 'blowing bubbles,' which makes Trey especially giggly. "Aw man! I just realized we never told Alaric the whole story from Fliik Nard!" That was the sorority Trey took Chaz to after Chaz and I fought in the gym.
     Chaz gives me a look I can't quite identify, kind of a superior, I'm-so-much-awesomer-than-you look, but I can't be positive. "No, I guess we haven't."
     I wave it off. "It's fine. I got the general gist of what happened."
     But it's like I'd not said anything. Trey can't stop himself. "You should've seen Chaz! He's a genius! He got so much p--sy that night it's going to be the stuff of legend!"
     Chaz rolls his eyes with a smile. "Don't exaggerate. It was the one girl that night."
     "Yeah, but she talked. What started as a pity f--k turned into the making of a god." I notice yet again how Trey has started acting like Chaz is his idol, the bro-of-all-bros.
     "You're dating a college chick?" I ask. Trey's right in that I haven't heard any of this.

     "Dating?" He smirks. "No, I'm not 'dating' anyone."
     "He doesn't have to!"
     He turns to Trey. "Dude, would you shut up and let me tell the story?" His eyes roll at Trey's hyper idiot laugh, and then he returns his attention to me. "So that was the evening of the day when you'd stolen Kate out from under my nose."
     I glare at him. Not this again!
     He puts his hand up. "Whoa. Man, I get it, k? Besides, after you hear what happened, you'll understand why I need to thank you for doing that."
     Trey can't keep quiet. "He was so pitiful! They ate it up! Then they ate him up!" I think he's had too many bubbles.
     "Trey! Shut the plum up!" Another eye roll. "Anyway, so we were at a party, and I was moping when Trey sent a girl my way."
     "The perfect wingman, I!" Trey will not be quiet apparently, but Chaz continues on anyhow.

      "Her name was Whitney, and the ass and tits on his girl were so big and round that I would have to be one-hundred percent gay not to get rock hard, especially when she came and sat on my lap."
     "You're making her sound fat. She was endowed," Trey cuts in.
     Chaz waves him off. "Yeah, whatever. Anyway, so she starts asking me why I'm sad, and I tell her. And she's running her fingers through my hair with her cleavage so close to my face. I started having trouble breathing."
     "Then Chaz disappears."
     "Ugh! Trey! My story!" He takes a breath. "Well, yeah, next thing I know, she's leading me upstairs, and holy f--king plumbob, Alaric. She got naked, and I don't know what came over me, but all I could think was that if something this beautiful and hot doesn't get what nature owes her, then I may as well stop being a man."
     "Such a gentleman."
     "OMG, Trey, if you don't shut up...!"
     "What? I'm helping." He wears a big, stupid grin.

      "So you woohooed a college chick. Grats, man." I have to admit that Chaz is a different person than the one yelling at me in the gym that day.
      Trey does what could only be called guffawing. "Hardly."
      I look at Trey. "What do you mean then?"
      Trey looks to Chaz. "Tell him. PLEASE. I couldn't do it justice."

      "All I could think was thank the maker I'm not a virgin."
      "Lizette is a very generous woman." We've given up on stopping Trey's interruptions.
      I'm a bit confused. "So it wasn't woohoo?"
      Trey laughs, but Chaz clarifies, "Oh, it was, but... I don't know... something came over me, like I was pretending to be someone else... because I couldn't just let myself be the old Chaz. The best way I can think to describe it is I just... figured out how to move, kinda deep and slow, and she started going out of her mind."
      "She was so loud we could hear her downstairs." Trey laughs loudly. "A couple girls went upstairs to see if everything was okay, and they discovered the two of them. And they discovered the reason why she was being so loud because Chaz didn't stop."
      He shrugs. "Eh, I figured it wasn't the first time I had an audience, and I was actually scared to death that if I stopped, I wouldn't be able to figure out again what I was doing."

      Trey butts in, "And those two witnesses talked. To everyone. You know how girls love to gossip."
      "Trey, are you going to let me tell the story or not?"
      "I'm just making sure you don't forget the important bits." He looks at me. "So now, Chaz pretty much has a waiting list. He's Fliik Nard's best kept, or maybe worst kept, secret."
       I squint my eyes and purse my lips. "Be serious. That can't be true. We're just high schoolers." Those girls could get in trouble, but from the sound of things, Chaz has no problem with it. And if his parents know, they're not doing anything.
      Chaz looks at me, slightly ticked. "Why can't it be true? What, because I'm young and not built and don't have washboard abs that I can't make a woman lose her mind?"
      Trey looks at me, serious for once. "It's all true."
      I need bubbles.

      Trey keeps talking. "And it's all because you started dating Kate."
      Well, if Chaz were dating Kate and I wasn't, he certainly wouldn't be getting any. Kate and I have been dating for months now, and the most I've gotten is to grab her ass while I kiss her. I got to second base once, and just like that time in the library, she got all bent out of shape about it.
      I can feel Chaz staring at me. I don't know what he's thinking, but I can tell I'm still not his favorite person. We only get along on the surface.
      Music starts up at the DJ booth on the lot, and Trey insists we go and dance.

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A/N: Slightly strange place to end a chapter, I know, but it would've gotten out of hand otherwise.