Chain Reaction 3.1.17: Apologies

Alex

     My family is slowly improving. Alaric has stopped treating his mother like a jezebel, even though he's not exactly warm to her, and I've located Morgan, Valentino's old nanny. I've interviewed her, and I can at least agree with Drake's good hiring decision when he picked her to work as his nanny. Then I find out that they'd been engaged. She despises Drake--understandably. But she holds absolutely nothing against Valentino. I must admit, it still feels awkward to me, but I can at least see that it's my problem not theirs, the fact that my grandson doesn't want to live with us. This is the woman he'd always considered his mother. She raised him from toddler to almost-teen. I will respect Valentino's wishes. I'll give in because the poor boy's life has been hell having Drake as a father. If granting Morgan guardianship helps to make up for anything the family has done to him, I'll do it.

     Winter arrives, and with it, a knock at our front door one evening. When I look through the window in the door, I can barely trust my own eyes.

     It can't be. The last time I saw this man was when he testified against me at the trial.

     I open the door and walk out. I'm not sure I want to invite him into my house, so we stand on the porch.

     "Hi," he says simply.

     I remember when I first met him. He was just a baby. I knew he would have Brielle's eyes.

     "Hi," I repeat. Until he speaks more, I have nothing more to say to him. And it depends upon what he says that will determine whether or not I have him thrown off my property.

     "I have... a long-overdue apology to make. I was wrong."

     Yes, I'd say it's LONG overdue. Before me stands a man who could've really helped Emily. I'm curious to find out why he never did. "Go on," I prompt when he'd gotten silent.

     "I lost my head. In my anger, I didn't even consider that you'd only just picked up... my dad's gun."

     "The one he was going to kill me with, you mean."

     He sighs. "Yes." He looks at his feet. "Mikey showed me the footage."

     "Would you have ever believed me if it weren't for the footage?"

     "I can't answer that because I honestly don't know. All my life, you two were at each other's throats. I guess... prison made my dad snap."

     I never forced Graham to become a double-agent, but having time to think about what he'd said on the night he died, I agree that plenty of the things that happened to him were due to things that I set in motion. "I was never good to your father. We got along as well as fire and gasoline. But if I were the type to do murder, it would've happened long ago." I've never claimed to be a saint. There have been plenty of times when I was downright evil, mostly before Emily's calming influence, but I'm no murderer.

     "I know. And I'm here to apologize for accusing you. I'm sorry." He looks down at his feet and then back up again, and his eyes plead. "Could I see my sister now?"

     I decide to deal the harshest blow first. "Were you even aware that Emily tried to kill herself?"

     His mouth drops. He looks like he's been punched in the gut. "No. Drake... He had us by the balls. I was worried what he'd do to Mikey. He threatened us to stay away."

     "So to save your son, you handed your sister over to a demon."

     A 'that's not fair!' expression covers his face. "A demon that's your son!"

     I blink slowly. "I know what he is."

     "Look, I'm not happy about it! I had little choice."

     "Luckily for all of us your son himself was brave enough to stand up to him." I'm being mean; I can't help it. But I also can't help but think what I would be doing had Emily succeeded in her attempt. Ethan is lucky she didn't.

     "Okay! I'm a terrible person! But at least give me the chance to make it right! Let me talk to her."

     I force a smile. "Of course, Ethan. I don't try to control who my wife does and doesn't speak to."

     He blinks, and I know I'm reminding him of exactly how I used to talk to Graham. I can't help it! I'm so mad! And my experience with the insane alien hybrid woman trying to emulate Brielle and then having a copy of Brielle's eyes looking at me trying to apologize just brings it all back up. Mikey has the same color eyes, but his are shaped like his mother's. Ethan's are crazy-similar.

     Maker help me if or when I have to interact with Isabella, the Brielle clone. Or worse... Brielle herself.

     That's a fight for another day. Today is Ethan.

     We go inside, and as if on cue, Emily happens to be walking through the foyer.

     She stops in her tracks and stares at her brother.

     "Emily, we have a visitor." I fold my arms and smirk as I see angry fire in my wife's eyes.

     "I don't want to speak to you." She turns for the stairs.

     "Emily, please!" Ethan calls out. "I was wrong! I was a total plum-tard!" He uses a term they would use as teens. I always thought it was a mean thing to say, but it looks especially ridiculous having a fifty-year-old man say it.

     But it worked. She stops and turns back around.

      "Well, that's one I haven't heard in a while, even if it's a very apt description." She stands stiffly, perfectly mimicking the stance I had moments ago. I don't need further proof she's my other half, but I continually get it.

     Ethan launches into a speech very similar to what I'd gotten on the front porch. "And Alex tells me you tried..." He spies Valentino in the living room and halts his sentence. "I had no idea things were that bad. I'm so sorry." He doesn't wait for permission but hugs her anyway.

     "Don't ever let it get that bad again, do you understand? I'm still your big brother."

     I've never been this angry at Ethan before. I wasn't even really angry with him when he accused me of killing his father. I only thought he was confused. But the way, as I see it, he abandoned Emily infuriates me.

    Ethan was a cop. He's a private detective! How could he not see what was going on! How could he not have seen how bad it had gotten!

    Private detective... I start wondering if perhaps Ethan can earn forgiveness. I could use his help with something.

     Ethan shares with us his continued fear for Mikey's safety. I assure him I'm keeping close tabs on Drake's behavior: who he talks to, what inmates surround him, etc.

     "It's just that it's Drake," he counters.

     "I know," Emily replies. "But he's not interested in having a bodyguard."

     I read Ethan's expression very clearly. "Done. He's getting one. I'll instruct the man to be vigilant but unobtrusive." Emily's brother looks at me in surprise. I pull out my phone and make a call. I call a trusted agency and have interviews set up for tomorrow.

     I can't be positive what Ethan and Emily talk about while I'm on the phone, but I do think I hear Emily mention how 'he's always better when he has a project.' I smile. I have several projects. And with one of them, I'm getting Ethan's help.

     Alaric walks casually down the stairs and into the kitchen, not even noticing his uncle because his face is plastered to his phone screen. Ethan notices him, though.

     "Is that Alaric?" I can understand his surprise. My son is no longer the innocent charmer he once was.

     "Yes," she answers him. Then her voice calls out, "Alaric, someone wants to speak to you."

     "Yeah, Mom. Be right there." He's rapidly texting someone. Probably Kate. Texting is quiet, meaning her father is happier.

      The atmosphere around us feels almost comfortable. Emily and I are still a little stiff toward Ethan, but we've apparently decided we're going to try to give the man a chance to reconcile.

      Then Alaric finishes his latest text and sees who we're talking to. "Wait a minute. Uncle Ethan?" He doesn't sound happy.

      "Yeah. Hi, kiddo."

      Emily goes down to the living area to talk to Valentino, probably to ask him to also come talk to Ethan. Valentino has been much happier knowing that I'm working on getting him what he wants.

     "Kiddo? Kiddo!? The last time I saw you, you were telling a courtroom how you thought my dad killed Grandpa. Then I don't see you for almost a year, a year of hell by the way, and you have the gall to call me 'kiddo'?!"

     "Um..." Ethan is understandably shocked, and I'm not quite as eager to work on my son's ability to forgive as I am otherwise.

     Although, I probably should put some effort into it. "Alaric, Ethan has come to apologize. He knows he was wrong." Ethan glances at me, and I'm afraid he sees how I'm keeping in my laugh. Alaric will certainly tell it like it is, especially when he's upset.

     "Yeah, he was wrong. Big time." Alaric's phone buzzes, but he ignores it for a moment. He's not done.

     "I didn't know what to do because I was an angry kid turned teen, and Mom wasn't doing a whole lot to help herself either. But where were you?! Where were you when she needed you? You're supposed to be her big brother."

     "Alaric, it's... complicated."

     He rolls his eyes. "Complicated. Hah. Complicated." He turns up his upper lip and goes toward the stairs. "Complicated." He shakes his head. "Blow me." His feet stomp up the stairs, heading to his room.

     Ethan turns to me for help. "He has a hard time forgiving people. We're working on it."

     He's not totally buying it. "Right." Then he sees where Emily is waving him down to the living room.

     Strange. I think this is the first time Ethan has met Valentino.

     The three of them talk for a moment before Valentino asks Emily something. Emily hugs her brother, and she and my grandson leave the room.

     "I guess I'll go home," Ethan tells me.

     "Before you go, I have a favor to ask." I walk down into the living room.

     "You. Want to ask me. For a favor." I can understand his trepidation.

     "Yes. I think it would go a long way towards reconciliation."

     He raises his eyebrows. "All right. What is it?"

     "I have many, many things on my plate right now as I try to get my life back in order, but one thing... One thing I'm having some difficulty with. I've asked the Sixams for help, but they have such a backlog of cases that I don't know when I'll see results, and judging from how the Prexans treated their young, I don't want to waste time."

     "Okay. Go on."

     I tell him about my awful pregnancy in prison, and he listens in shock. "I want you to find him. All I know is that he was a boy, might've had my ears, and had blue skin." I pause. "Make no mistake, Ethan. This is a very high priority for me, and I might be able to do it alone. But I'm hoping that with your detective expertise, the process can go faster. And this, of course, has to remain completely confidential." I explain that there are going to be several matches, but I'm looking for the oldest one. I hope he doesn't judge me for the hell I went through.

     "It's the least I can do."

     "Thank you." I will find my son. The one I carried. There are, of course, other Prexan children of mine, but I want to find the only one I really considered mine.