Chain Reaction 3.83: Backwards

Alex

     I've moved from one box to the next. This one, at least, doesn't have those infernal bars. But I still have the vault door blocking any hope of escape.

     When I wake up in the morning, AD has left for work. There is very little for me to do, so I pull books off the shelf to read only to find them in some strange alien language. Still, that does give me something to do. I start working on trying to decode the symbols. 

     If only I could figure out how AD opens the door from this side. That's step one. Step two is figuring out how to keep the dog-collar shock from going off once I cross the threshold.

      I get hungry, so I look in the refrigerator. To my surprise, I find it stocked with all kinds of foods that I'm used to. I decide to prepare one of my favorite dishes, and on a hunch, I make a family-sized portion.
     When AD comes back, she's delighted that I prepared a meal. I can't help but want to add 'like a good little pet' there at the end.

     "Alex?" she calls from the table. "Why are you sitting all the way over there? Come to the table."

     "Okay." I hate her. 

      She continues to keep her 'Emily hair' and 'Brielle dress.' I despise it. All they do is remind me how much I miss home. She couldn't possibly hope to be as beautiful as the women she tries to emulate.

      "This is good. What is it?" she asks as I pull out my chair.

      "Spinach frittata. I'd learned it from a recipe on the internet." I pause. "Do you all have an internet of sorts?"

      "Yes, of course. In fact, it was we who taught your civilization the technology to get one of your own." Her tone also implies 'and you'll never get access to it.' Of course, she knows of my talent for hacking.

      "How very generous of you." What she's not saying is that they probably gave us the internet to use it to keep tabs on us. All those people with paranoia are on to something, but society doesn't want to hear it.

     We eat in silence while she stares at me.

     "Are you still pleased by my appearance?"

     "Y-yes. It's very relaxing." My heart rate increases. Out of fear, I think.

     "You're lying. You hate me. I know you do." She watches me stare at the table. "It's okay, you know. I guessed it wouldn't happen overnight, even if I did change my appearance for you."

      "I'll do the dishes," I quickly offer, hoping to avoid a fight. She watches me gather the plates, and I put the leftovers in the fridge. She stands up next to the table and keeps her eyes on me in an utterly creepy way.

      "Come here."

      Plum. She repulses me, but I do as demanded.

      "It's okay, Alexander." Her hand strokes my cheek. "We will make this work. I know we will. I couldn't bear the thought of you being destroyed. Taking on the added cost of your care is a small price to pay for your company." She smiles at me. "And I know you worry about the son you had for us, the one you carried. I saw him today."

      "You did?!" She has my full attention now.

      Her smile grows. "Yes. He's beautiful, and he'll be a strong addition to the community. He shows a strong will, and we all guess he'll make a great leader in some way."

      "May I see him?" My voice is pleading.

      She shakes her head sadly. "No. We hybrids do not see our fathers, even if they remain alive. We're taught to be fully Prexan in every way."

      "Prexan?" This is the first I've heard of this.

      Her eyes open in alarm, and she puts her hand on my mouth. "Hush! I've spoken too much."

      "But..."

      "I have something else I'd like to say. I was mentioning your son because I know how much children mean to you. I've been given permission to breed again with you, and we're allowed to keep him here." Her thumb strokes my lips. "Wouldn't that make you happy? A child? A family?"

      Tears form in my eyes. B*tch. You know exactly the right thing to keep me prisoner forever, don't you?
     Scared to death she'll get what she wants, I refuse her, going as far as sleeping on the couch. Not even her looking and smelling like my wife convinces me.

     The next morning, I get up and take a shower. I'm glad AD's at work--or wherever she goes.

     Then she walks into the bedroom.

     "What have you done?" She changed herself again.

     "You were angry with me last night." She smiles. "It's my day off, so I thought we could try this for a while.

      "If you won't accept me as Emily, perhaps you will as Brielle." 

      "But I don't... love Brielle." This insane hybrid is terrifying me, and I start backing up, not wanting her to touch me.

      She laughs meanly. "Oh, Alex, really. Do you think I would try this if that were true? How skillfully you fool yourself." She keeps advancing.

      I put up my hand. "No."

      She moves my hand aside and pushes my shirt off my shoulders and down my arms. "That first love never goes away, does it?"

      "Stop!" The backs of my legs hit the edge of the bed.

      "No. You're mine." She pushes me onto the bed and pulls off my shorts.

      "Think of it as a gift, Alex. Now you can finally love Brielle like you've always wanted." She climbs on top of me.

      "I told you: I don't love her anymore."

      "If that were true, would this be working right now?" She rubs against me, and I squeeze my eyes closed. She leans in and slowly licks my cheek, and plum it, she's wearing Brielle's perfume.

      I want to cry. To scream! No! This isn't true!

      "You were angry with me last night. You're already angry at Brielle, so I thought this might work. You can work out your anger while we make a child." She pushes herself onto me and starts moving.

     "Oh, Alex! I'm sorry I chose Graham! That was the biggest mistake of my life! You and I were always meant to be together! You were right, and I wouldn't listen! But now, we can be together!"

     I start crying. This woman is evil.

      "You b*tch." I'm not sure which woman I'm addressing: the alien or the real Brielle from my memory.

      "Yes, I am. And I'm sorry. I was always meant to be yours, and now I am! I'm Brielle Goth!"

      I throw my head back against the sheets. Plum this woman! This is a low move, dredging all this back up. I let out a sob and shake my head back and forth, angry at myself as well.

      She holds my chin and makes me face her while she leans down. "You were always there for me, even when I didn't know I needed it. You're my hero. How can I help but love you?"

      I let out a roar of anger and flip us over.

      "Is this what you want, ...Brielle?"

      She smiles victoriously. "Yes. Give it to me. Show me what I've been missing."

      I do. I give her my best, making her head loll off the edge of the bed and her eyes roll backwards. I woohoo the plum out of this imitation Brielle.

     And I hate myself for it.