Emily
I'm a jittery mess. Alex has told me he wants to marry me, but he also said he wasn't asking at the time he told me. He said he wouldn't ask until I was in my right mind. Well, I've been in my "right mind" for a few days now. And right now, we're out at his favorite restaurant again.
Is he going to ask me tonight?
He might not. I can see him doing something bigger than just asking during a dinner date. After all, he commissioned a painting just to prove to me that he thinks I'm beautiful. Proposing is a big deal.
I wish proposing weren't a big deal. Right mind? Right now, I'm in a jittery mind, ready to jump in fright from the smallest thing.
I close my eyes as I can't help but overhear the conversation Malcolm Landgraab and his wife are having. They're arguing about where to send their daughter to school. Liliana insists that public school is fine while Malcolm balks at the idea.
Are Alex and I going to have little arguments/discussions about stuff like this in the future? I've told Alex I want a child. He could see right through my attitude about Selena being pregnant. I'm jealous.
"Everything okay?" Alex asks. The Landgraabs get up and leave, having finished their meal.
I nod. Something about the way he's acting makes me tremble with my nerves. The look in his eyes isn't helping. He acts like he's up to something. Or...am I just projecting a behavior onto him because it's what I'm expecting?
I know I'd feel better if I could just get this proposing thing over with. Maybe I should ask him. No. He'd probably inwardly pout about that, me taking away his chance to be super romantic.
He doesn't have to be super romantic with me. Not with me. I don't need it. But he needs to be that way. It's just one of his little things.
"Are you sure? You look like you're a million miles away."
I close my eyes again, wishing I were a million miles away, at least for a little while. Just long enough to gather my wits. Ever since he mentioned that he wanted to go out tonight, I've had the worst case of jitters in the history of sims.
At least if he does it now, we won't have an audience... But what if he wants an audience?
Where is that waiter? I could really use the wine Alex ordered earlier.
Another thought enters unbidden, A millionaire wants to marry me. Why does it always shock me when I think about that? I guess because I'm not a gold-digger. But the idea of it is daunting nonetheless. It makes him intimidating, as if being the same age as my mother isn't enough. He's so smart. Sure, I'm a genius, but Alex has life experience on top of brilliance.
I let out a shaky breath.
"Emily?" I hear him ask, and I open my eyes to see a concerned expression on his brow.
"Sorry. My mind is a million miles away, I guess." No. It's just that it's going at warp speed. "I'm okay."
"If going out is too much, we could just get the waiter to wrap everything up for us."
No! Because then I'll be wondering what other plan you have up your sleeve. "No, that's okay." He's probably worried that being in public is too much after my abduction experience.
"That's a pretty necklace," he says in a way that feels random.
"Oh. Thanks. It's just something I've had for a while. I think it's just cut glass."
"You should wear nicer stuff than cut glass." He gets a look in his eyes that makes my stomach drop through the floor.
The waiter interrupts whatever else he'd planned to say. I see a hidden, miffed look in his eyes as he thanks him. I can hardly breathe. He was talking about jewelry. If I know him, he'll...
He lifts his wine glass once the waiter walks away, toasting and saying, "To a beautiful woman that needs better jewelry." His smile has a slight smirk in it when he reads my expression.
I hold my breath while he puts his glass down, not saying anything else. For a moment, I wonder if he's laughing at me.
He gestures to my food. "Well, let's eat, shall we?"
I'm going to scream before this meal is finished. I can hardly breathe and he expects me to eat? I carefully look at my food, wondering if he's pulled the 'hidden ring' trick. I don't see anything out of the ordinary. There's nothing but wine in my glass.
I do my best to keep up the small talk he expertly maintains. At least one of us is capable of creating small talk. If it were up to me, I'd never speak again. Well, maybe I would after he finally would get this proposal thing out of the way.
Look. We already both know we want to get married. Why are you dragging this out?
The man has the gall to call me out on my behavior. "Emily, are you nervous about something?"
Do I leap across the table and strangle him? No. That would be a bad idea. "Whatever gives you that idea?" There. I turned it back around on him.
He grins, definitely playing with me. Then, he pretends to shrug. "Just an observation. You have the mannerisms of someone out on her first date."
I decide to shrug right back at him. "If you say so." That plumbing grin hasn't left his face.
We eat in silence, me faster than him. I blame nerves.
"I was hoping we could go to the park after this, take a walk."
Oh. He's planning on doing it THEN. "Okay." He asks the waiter for the check. "Aren't you going to finish eating?" I ask.
"No. I'm too nervous to eat another bite." His grin covers his face after I blink and stare at him in surprise.
"You're having too much fun with this."
"Fun with what?" he asks like he has no idea what I mean when I know he does.
I toss my invisible napkin on the table and stand up, ready to walk out of the restaurant without him just to spite him. My arm gets grabbed before I'm spun around.
Alex has to be the best kisser on the planet. He could rule the world if kissing ability was the determining factor. I feel like I'm melting and falling at the same time yet being held upright, close in Alex's arms, cherished as the most precious woman in history.
Then I remember we're out in public, and PDA is definitely not my thing. I feel myself stiffen, and he makes a noise like he wished I wouldn't do that.
He speaks against my lips, "No one is watching." His hand moves down over my ass!
I pull back, and he just follows me. Then when I jerk my head away, he lifts his and smiles that 'up to something' smile at me again.
"I'm supposed to be miffed at you for something," I say into his amorous brown eyes.
"You are? Well, I'm glad you forgot what it was." He grins, definitely having too much fun. Oh! That was it. Before I can say anything else, however, he says, "Let's go on that walk." He takes my hand and leads me out of the restaurant.
We go to the park with the swans and do just what he said: walk. And walk. And talk and walk. And walk and talk, and he never acts remotely like he's about to propose. I start wondering if he'd ever planned on doing it tonight at all. Maybe I've been a bundle of nerves for nothing. I've been a nervous wreck all evening, waiting for something that wasn't going to happen after all, when I could've just relaxed and enjoyed myself!
We get to the pond--again--when he stops me. "Emily, could I talk to you a sec? I mean really talk."
"Oh," I reply. This must be him about to say why he hasn't proposed tonight. "Okay." Maybe he doesn't want to anymore and he wants to tell me why so that my feelings don't get hurt.
"Do you honestly see this working?" His eyes watch me carefully as I digest with shock what he just asked.
"What?" is all I can say. Never did I think he'd ask something like that. That's not the beginning of a proposal; that's the beginning of a let's-break-up-but-still-be-friends speech. Then why kiss me like that before? Why send such a signal then crush me?
"Whoa!" He reads my expression perfectly. "That's not what I meant!" He starts breathing faster as if in a panic. "I mean that this feels like a fairytale to me. There are plenty of mornings when I wake up and wonder if it's real. So I just want to know what you think."
"Oh." This is a 'what do you think about us' conversation. Then why ask it like that? "You don't see us working?"
"Plum. Of all the times to screw it up. Forgive me. It's my doubts nagging at me. Think about it: I've never had a successful relationship. Can you blame me for worrying?" His hands tightly hold mine like he fears I'll run off.
"Alex, don't think like that. You think about it: it didn't work out with Laura because you were still in love with Mom. It didn't work out with with those short relationships because they were shallow. It didn't work out with Selena because you didn't love her." Wow. All of a sudden, I'm the one that's somehow better at this. I'm just...speaking my thoughts. "You love me, right? And this relationship isn't shallow. The only way this couldn't work is if you are still in love with Mom. And if you are, then..." My lower lip trembles. "Then no, it won't work because no matter how much I may look or act like her, I'm not her and can't ever be."
"Thank the maker," he breathes and kisses my hands. "I wanted to get this out of the way. All I wanted when I asked that question was to find out if you had any doubts." He kisses my hands again. "I was once so madly in love with Brielle that it almost ruined my life. But I see it differently now. Everything that happened to me put me on the journey that led me to this moment. As far as she's concerned, I'm ambivalent. All I see or know or feel is you." He breathes in in a shaky way. "Because you're so perfect. And I would truly be the luckiest sim alive if you would consent to becoming my wife."
Wait. What? I think as I watch him stare at me. So much for being the one that's somehow better at this. Was that a proposal? Did he actually do it?
His lips quirk into an almost-smile before he asks, "Would you marry me, Emily?"
That's more what I expected. I smile. "Yes."
He charges at me, taking me by surprise by his kiss. I don't know why I'm surprised.
His arms slowly wrap around me as he pulls me closer, and reality blooms in my thoughts. Mrs. Emily Goth. It's not the first time I've pondered that name. After all, I dated Drake for years. But this time, it has so much more of a positive connotation than it did before. It's who I'm meant to be--with the man I'm meant to love.
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Then I remember we're out in public, and PDA is definitely not my thing. I feel myself stiffen, and he makes a noise like he wished I wouldn't do that.
He speaks against my lips, "No one is watching." His hand moves down over my ass!
I pull back, and he just follows me. Then when I jerk my head away, he lifts his and smiles that 'up to something' smile at me again.
"I'm supposed to be miffed at you for something," I say into his amorous brown eyes.
"You are? Well, I'm glad you forgot what it was." He grins, definitely having too much fun. Oh! That was it. Before I can say anything else, however, he says, "Let's go on that walk." He takes my hand and leads me out of the restaurant.
We go to the park with the swans and do just what he said: walk. And walk. And talk and walk. And walk and talk, and he never acts remotely like he's about to propose. I start wondering if he'd ever planned on doing it tonight at all. Maybe I've been a bundle of nerves for nothing. I've been a nervous wreck all evening, waiting for something that wasn't going to happen after all, when I could've just relaxed and enjoyed myself!
We get to the pond--again--when he stops me. "Emily, could I talk to you a sec? I mean really talk."
"Oh," I reply. This must be him about to say why he hasn't proposed tonight. "Okay." Maybe he doesn't want to anymore and he wants to tell me why so that my feelings don't get hurt.
"What?" is all I can say. Never did I think he'd ask something like that. That's not the beginning of a proposal; that's the beginning of a let's-break-up-but-still-be-friends speech. Then why kiss me like that before? Why send such a signal then crush me?
"Whoa!" He reads my expression perfectly. "That's not what I meant!" He starts breathing faster as if in a panic. "I mean that this feels like a fairytale to me. There are plenty of mornings when I wake up and wonder if it's real. So I just want to know what you think."
"Oh." This is a 'what do you think about us' conversation. Then why ask it like that? "You don't see us working?"
"Plum. Of all the times to screw it up. Forgive me. It's my doubts nagging at me. Think about it: I've never had a successful relationship. Can you blame me for worrying?" His hands tightly hold mine like he fears I'll run off.
"Alex, don't think like that. You think about it: it didn't work out with Laura because you were still in love with Mom. It didn't work out with with those short relationships because they were shallow. It didn't work out with Selena because you didn't love her." Wow. All of a sudden, I'm the one that's somehow better at this. I'm just...speaking my thoughts. "You love me, right? And this relationship isn't shallow. The only way this couldn't work is if you are still in love with Mom. And if you are, then..." My lower lip trembles. "Then no, it won't work because no matter how much I may look or act like her, I'm not her and can't ever be."
Wait. What? I think as I watch him stare at me. So much for being the one that's somehow better at this. Was that a proposal? Did he actually do it?
His lips quirk into an almost-smile before he asks, "Would you marry me, Emily?"
That's more what I expected. I smile. "Yes."
His arms slowly wrap around me as he pulls me closer, and reality blooms in my thoughts. Mrs. Emily Goth. It's not the first time I've pondered that name. After all, I dated Drake for years. But this time, it has so much more of a positive connotation than it did before. It's who I'm meant to be--with the man I'm meant to love.
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Awwwww
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