Rose 2.70: Weak Genes

Donovan

     It is time for my little flower's birthday. After she blows out the candles, I will have two teens. How did this happen? And before I know it, Lorenzo will age to adult. That immediately makes me think of grandchildren. Me: a grandfather? Nonno Donovan.

     My mind returns to the scene in front of me as Camilla blows out her candles. I wonder what was her wish.

     Oh my Maker.
     My children look like their mothers. I have a redheaded, grey-eyed Willow standing before me. If I hadn't have told Shauna already who was the mother of Camilla, she would know now. I do not know if this makes me happy. It has been hard to see Lorenzo and how his expressions would very much remind me of Tiffany, but I loved Tiffany. I guess at one time I might have almost loved Willow, but I was young and foolish and in college. At least Willow was beautiful. She has a beautiful daughter whom she left with me. Correction: She's my daughter. She is only Willow's by genetics.
     I have a beautiful teenage daughter.
     Maker help me. Please don't let her meet men like her father.

     My fiancee Shauna is very quiet. She keeps looking back and forth from Lorenzo to Camilla. I don't have to search my mind for her thoughts. To Shauna, Tiffany and Willow were rivals. I chuckle inwardly when I remember how Shauna had lied to Tiffany and said we were a committed couple. Shauna admitted to me that she did it just to anger Tiffany. Although Tiffany and Willow would fight more openly, Shauna had her little ways as well. I'm not too ashamed to admit that I enjoyed it.
    My internal chuckle leaves me when Shauna says, "I think I'll pass on the cake this time."
    Oh no. There are two reasons she would say this. One: She feels fat...again. Two (and more likely): She's feeling some residual anger at my children's mothers and feels guilty over that. Maybe a little of both. I guess that could be a third reason. She might be remembering her fights with the other two women and worry that she's too fat for me. When will she ever learn that the more curvy she is that the more I want her?

     I've noticed that Shauna cleans when she's agitated. Not that she doesn't clean things anyway, but there is more of a rigorousness into her straightening things up, almost as if she thinks that if she can get the physical world around her neat and in order that her emotional life will follow suit.
     She won't look Camilla in the eyes.
     When she looks at me, she knows what I'm thinking. She knows that I've noticed her actions. At least she has the wherewithal to look down, ashamed of her thoughts. I will have to address this later, out of earshot of the children.

     I cannot do it now because I have a son to age up. It will be hard to tell if Arlen will look like his mother also until he turns to teen, but I would not be too surprised. Apparently I have weak genes.

      It is hard to tell with children, but I believe those are Abbie's eyes, at least their shape. He might have the Robles nose, though.
     He is still in the running to be heir.

     I discuss Shauna's expressions earlier with her once we retire to the little house for the night. She cries and admits to thinking what I guessed she was thinking, the third option. I do everything in my power to make sure that by the time she goes to sleep that she feels like a beautiful woman.

     If only I could have a child with Shauna. It's not that we don't love my other children, but I want to give Shauna a child. I want a little person that is half me and half her wandering around in the world, a physical example of our love.
     But Shauna believes she isn't capable of bearing a child to term. She's lost two babies. That does not necessarily mean she would lose a third. And maybe this time, we could get a doctor to figure out the problem. I want it to happen. Though, if we want to try for a child, we need to do it soon. We're running out of time.
     First... We will get married.