Chain Reaction 3.86: Devious

Emily

     Alex waits a moment before following me up the stairs. Finding I'd locked the door, he talks to me through it.

     "Please come downstairs when you're ready to talk. And please understand that I love you, that I don't hate you. It hurts me with the thought that I might've scared you just now. That wasn't my intent."

      All I do in reply is sob. I'd thought that Alex coming home would be a wonderful thing, that it would solve everything, but it didn't. I still can't live with myself.

      "I'll be downstairs." His voice sounds defeated. If only he were angry. I'm prepared for angry. That would at least give me the chance to earn back his love, but the fact that he so freely forgave me somehow makes it harder to take.

     I finally collect myself enough to face him again. I take a shower, trying to wash off the stress. Then I go downstairs to face my husband.

      He quickly ends his telephone call when he sees me. "I'm beginning the public exposure of what they're doing in the prison system."

      A neutral subject: something I can handle. "The people of Sixam have already begun, but maybe the powers that be will listen to a sim more than an alien."

      "They had me convinced I was on another planet. I need to look at a map to try and figure out where they're located. All I could think at the time was to get as far away as possible."

      "Do you think they'll come after you?" The thought of losing Alex again fills me with dread. I'm being ridiculous. He's forgiven me. I've forgiven him. The problem is I can't forgive myself.

      "Now that my escape is quickly becoming top news, I doubt they'd openly attack, and the people of Sixam are keeping tabs on us. They're apparently ancient enemies of the Prexans."

      I almost ask 'who?' but I quickly figure out he means the ones who abducted him. I've never heard of that planet. A topic for another day. 

      The silence between us stretches out. He stares at me, watching my every move. I only glance at him occasionally, worrying about what he'll say or do.

       "Emily..." He reaches for me, but I flinch and start to turn away. However, the tender way he takes my hands surprises me, and I pause.

     He's encouraged by my pause. "I'm sorry I came on too strong earlier. That was horrible of me not to consider what you've been through."

      What I've been through... I'd thought he was dead. Now, he's standing right in front of me. I want to throw my arms around him, but again, the guilt and the knowledge that I don't deserve it eat me alive.

      "He's been arrested and charged. They haven't set a trial date yet, though."

      "So I've been told," he replies. To answer my question, he says, "Furston." He'd called his lawyer while I was upstairs.

      "But I wouldn't underestimate him." Drake could escape. I wouldn't put it past him. He's Drake, after all.

      Alex understands immediately what I'm not saying. "And I'll never let him touch you again."

      "What if he's found not guilty? Even with the evidence Mikey unscrambled..." He questions what I mean, and I fill him in on what our nephew did for us at great personal risk, meaning that Drake has squealed about how he knows that Mikey killed Malcolm Landgraab, something else I have to explain. I tell him I'm going to do everything I can to keep Mikey from being charged. Then I tell Alex about the safehouse I'd purchased.
      "That's brilliant. And thoughtful to offer it to him."
      "I had to do something."
      "Of course." Ever the suave lover, my husband can't resist kissing my fingers.

      I don't stop him, but the display only increases my anxiety. By all rights, he shouldn't want to do this. He should hate me for being weak and giving in to Drake. I do.
      His eyes study me. "You still think I should be angry with you."
      My mouth drops. Why does it surprise me that he can read me so well?
      Alex listens to my silence, and he responds by turning one hand over and kissing my palm. "I'm not angry, Emily."
      "But I'm angry with myself. How could I let that happen? I'm not as strong as I thought I was. I let myself give in." I squirm because he just keeps kissing me.
      He sighs in a sad way. "If he's anything like his father, which he sadly is, he would've been relentless in his pursuit."
     I take a breath and exhale as I say, "His exact words." Relentless.
     Alex does a short nod like I'm confirming something in his mind. "And devious." He watches me.
     "H-he didn't outright say that, but he actually had me trusting him for a little while." I pause. "But I wouldn't call you devious."
     He closes his eyes and nods. "Oh I most certainly am, especially when the situation calls for it."
     Why is it that when it's Alex being devious that I find it hot? "But there's not the--" I pause when he strokes my palm with his tongue. I can't breathe, but I struggle forward anyway. "--the darkness in your soul like there is in his."

     I guess since he's realized that this is allowed, he continues with my hands. "He's also like my own father." How does he do this? Moments ago, I was flinching at his touch. Now, I want to rip his clothes off and have him all over me. His eyes cut up to mine. "But my soul isn't without darkness."
     I whisper, "You're not the same."
     His lips brush the back of my hand as he replies, "You say that because you love me."
     Tears fill my eyes. "I do love you." I offer no resistance when he pulls me to him.

       Oh, maker, how could I not love being the object of this man's affection? Even if I don't deserve it?
       Tears continue down my cheeks, tracing well-established paths. But I rebel against my own self-loathing and kiss him back almost as arduously as he does me.

      "I'm going to win you back, Emily." To my creased brow, he answers, "From yourself." He kisses me again, but we're both distracted by the front door opening.
      "Mom? Is it true? Social media was--- Dad!" Alaric dashes over to his father, and I have a seat on the couch.

      Our son makes happy hiccupping laughs as he warmly embraces his father who exclaims how he's grown up, but Alaric's voice overpowers his. "I knew you weren't dead! I just knew it! It'd take more than an army of aliens to bring down my dad." He closes his eyes and smiles while Alex chuckles. Then, my beloved son's eyes open and look at me, and they squint into a glare. "Unlike her."
     Alex freezes. "Excuse me?"
     They separate, but Alaric doesn't answer the question. "Dad, after the divorce, I'm going with you." My heart cracks just a little more.
      "What divorce?"

      Alaric makes a disgusted 'tsk' noise. "She hasn't even had the guts to tell you?"
      "If you're referring to Drake, yes, I already know."
      His eyes go back to his father, a shine of hope in them. "So when do we move out? I'd like to stay in the Eden area if that's okay." My sweet little boy is gone. I destroyed him.
      "We're not getting a divorce, son."
      The shine of hope evaporates, replaced with anger. "Are you kidding me? You're actually going to stay married to that slut?"
       I look down at my lap as I hear Alex's own anger. "You watch your mouth! This is your mother you're talking about!"

      "Yes, unfortunately she is. The woman my own brother was banging!"
      Alex's voice sounds dangerous. "Alaric..."
      "Don't you know how messed up that is? Thank the maker the guys at school never found out because they would never let up on that. It's disgusting! It makes me gag just to think about it! Any time: day or night, it was, 'oh, sure, Drake, just pop it right in here!'"
      My husband backhands our son--to everyone's surprise. Alaric holds his cheek, his jaw dropped.

      "Watch... what you say... about Emily. I will not have you talk about her like that, especially to me."
      Alaric takes a step back and puts his hand down. "You're... You're a goof, Dad. You're choosing her over me?"
      "I'm not 'choosing' anyone! Or, if you want to put it this way, I'm 'choosing' both of you. How dare you talk about your mother like that!"
      "Because it's true!"
      "Enough!" All is quiet for a second or two. "You don't understand the situation."

       "I think I have a better grasp of it than you. You weren't there."
       "You're right. I wasn't." Alex's anger falls away, replaced by guilt.
       "You only know what she's told you."
       "That what? That Drake repeatedly raped her? That she tried to commit suicide?"
       Alaric's face blanches. He'd not known why I was hospitalized. "What?"
       But Alex is worked up again. "For that matter, where were you?! Did you do anything to try and help her?"

      "I..." His face reddens slightly.
      "Alaric, don't do this. Your brother Drake is evil. He took advantage of her! He framed me for murder so he could do it!"
      Tears start welling up in his eyes. "But she just... She fell for it. How could she let that happen? How can you still trust her?"
      Alex straightens. "Because I love her. Because I choose to. Because I want to."
      Alaric raises his hands shoulder-level and backs away. "I don't understand you. Either of you. This whole family is messed up." He turns around and walks away.
      "Alaric!"
      "No. Plum off."
      As we watch his feet stomp up the stairs, our attention is drawn to Valentino, who stands in the foyer with a blank expression on his face. He'd witnessed the whole exchange. Alaric slams his door upstairs, and Valentino turns around, goes to his front bedroom, and slams his door as well.

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I couldn't help myself, Maladi.
It's just too fun! :)