Chain Reaction 3.30: Like A Player

Jarvis

     Lottie. Lottie Lottie Lottie. Oh, plum. Lottie! This is a dream come true. I'll never stop kissing her. I've waited my entire life for this moment. Oh, fudge-covered plums, she's really kissing me back. Me. I'm in heaven. Lottie's lips. Lottie's hair. Lottie's skin. Lottie's smell. Lottie's tongue. Lottie's... name. I can finally think her name without pain involved. It's been taboo for so long that I just want to scream her name fifty dozen times to make up for lost time. But that will have to wait because right now I'm kissing her.

     She tries to pull away. No! Please, not yet. 

      Oh, yes, Lottie, keep kissing me back. She feels so good. My fingertips encounter her exposed skin at the cuts in the dress, and I am completely turned on. I want to touch her... everywhere. Just... lift... the dress... a little... and a little more...
     She draws the line there, pushing hard against me. Okay, so I was probably going a bit too far. Plum, if she wouldn't stop me, I'd probably peel this dress off her completely. She might not like that being out in public like we are.
     She stands herself upright and acts like she wants me to let her go. Please, no. "Lottie..." I beg pitifully. Not yet. I need more right now.
     "No. Let me go!" she calls out. Plum. I do. The object wasn't to scare her.
     I expect her to run away, but she just walks over to the fountain, putting space between us. I'm scared that if I let the space stay that she'll go back to how she was before and tell me what just happened was a mistake. I have to have my arms around her again.

     If kissing is one of my strengths, then I'm going to play that strength. This woman could slip through my fingers like loose sand if I'm not careful. "Don't walk away. Not now, especially."
     "I have to. News flash, Jarvis: you have a girlfriend." Damn. "Remember?" Her eyes are so plumbing beautiful. She runs her fingertips down my jaw, contradicting her words. That tells me that me having a girlfriend is merely an obstacle--but not an insurmountable one.
     "Forget about that for a minute." There'll be time for that later tonight. "I can take care of that later." Her eyes tell me to kiss her. "This right now is so much more important." Can't take it anymore, and I have to give those eyes what they want by kissing her lips. But I don't want to quite lose myself at this moment, so I keep it shorter than what her eyes request. Before I talk to Isabella, I need to know a few things.
     "You mean you don't feel anything for her?" Her beautiful eyes show pain. I don't want that.
     But she has a point, and I wince as I think of the inevitable conversation with Izzy later. I have to tell Lottie the truth. "I was starting to, but I've loved you almost my entire life, Lottie. You know that." Please let this be real. I don't look forward to breaking up with Isabella, but I cannot lose this chance with Lottie, the love of my life.
     Her eyebrows scrunch a little as she says, "And I've been too screwed up to admit I love you too, Jarvis."
     OMG. So much for not kissing her like a maniac right now.

     Lottie loves me. I knew it! I don't know what she meant by 'screwed up,' but that's a conversation for later. I'm so happy I could cry. I think Lottie is crying. That's not good. I thought I stopped the crying when I kissed her for the first time.
     Wait. It's not Lottie crying. I see movement behind the potted plant.
     OH PLUM! My mouth drops open and I don't know if I should let go of Lottie or not. I don't want to, but at the same time, continuing to hold her like this is doing nothing but hurt Izzy more. She doesn't deserve this.
     "Isabella..." Plum. What do I say?

     "I wondered where you'd gotten yourself off to," Isabella tells me, finding it within herself to stand straightly and glare at the two of us. Lottie looks at me, horrified this is happening at all. Please don't bolt. "But then I wondered if you were out here looking for Charlotte. I thought to myself, 'No. Surely he wouldn't do that. Jarvis is too sweet a guy to cheat like that.' Looks like I was wrong."
     "No. This isn't cheating, Isabella. I was going to come talk to you."
     Lottie starts walking to Isabella, and I follow her closely. Above all, Lottie isn't going anywhere without me.
     Izzy snorts, and Lottie pleads with her, "Isabella, let me explain."

     "Be quiet, 'Lottie,'" she snarls. Then, she looks at me, livid. "Charlotte is the mysterious 'Lottie' that you didn't like talking about."
     "Yes."
     "That wasn't a question!" she snaps. I hate doing this to her, but I love Lottie down to my bones. I'm not letting go of that. I guess I have to do this to Isabella.
     Lottie closes her eyes, and a small smile graces her lips. She can feel it, I realize. My love for her is stronger than Isabella's anger at both of us.
     "I'm sorry, Izzy. I should've spoken with you first, but I had to be sure."
     "You mean that if Charlotte told you off that you wanted to make sure you still had me to come back to."
     I hate this! This isn't me! I don't do this! She's making it seem like I'm a player or something. As if!

     "No! I wasn't thinking that at all. I'm sorry; I have no experience with this sort of thing. I was doing what I had to do."
     "Oh, you had to?"
     I probably have a slapped face in my very near future. Hopefully she'll sheath her claws. "Isabella, I just had to find out."
     A large array of emotions fly through her face ranging from red fury to a crying fit to resentment to acceptance and then landing on sad. Plum.
    "I'm sorry," I say weakly.

     She looks at Lottie. "Do you love him?"
     "Yes," Lottie answers, but Isabella doesn't look finished.
     "Because if you're playing him for whatever reason, I will never forgive you for this. He's too nice a guy to do that to."
     "Isabella..."
     "Don't talk to me. I don't want to hear it, whatever it is. First Tommy, and now Jarvis? You can't play with people, Charlotte."
     "I wasn't playing anyone!"
     "I said shut up! You don't get to talk!"
     I say Isabella's name in warning, and those crystal blue eyes snap over to me. She looks resigned. "Goodbye, Jarvis. The two of you need to steer clear of me for a while. You're the last people I want to see." She swiftly passes Lottie without another glance, and the sound of her heels hitting the boards quickly fades.

     Wonderful, beautiful Lottie turns to me. "She'll be okay."
     I don't want to talk about Isabella. "Do you want to see what I've done with my place?" Hah! I really do sound like a player.
     Lottie giggles--the most perfect sound in the world. "Okay. Let me tell Chloe. She was supposed to be my ride."
     In my humble opinion, it takes way too long to get back to my apartment above the store.

     The re-touring of my apartment makes it only as far as the kitchen before I can't resist anymore the overwhelming need to eat her alive. Does she have to go home tonight? Is it too soon to propose? Will she be upset if I propose without a ring? What kind of ring would she like? How hard or easy is it to take off this dress she's wearing? My hands go to her waist again, and I groan.

     She pulls back and gives me a look that tells me I need to cool it, even if she's also smiling. I could happily lose myself forever in her eyes. I imagine they're like a maze and she's at the center. And at the center hide all her secrets, stuff I hope she shares with me, stuff that I hope that explains why she does what she does, did what she did. I love her. I imagine the two of us grown old together with our grandkids running around and playing at our feet or older and asking for money. We'd be living in a better house than this apartment but also talking about this place with fond memories... Memories I want to make.
     "Jarvis?"
     "Yes?" Yes, my wonderful, beautiful, precious, darling, love of my life, Lottie?
     "I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but is that really how you do your hair nowadays?"
     I grin. "You don't like it? I can't decide if I look more like a monkey or like I'm trying to be an old movie Dracula."
     She laughs. "Not that I want to tell you how to fix your hair... but... I like the way you used to always do it."
     I'm so happy. "Isabella did this to me. I can go wash it out. It'll take a few minutes." I pause. A fleeting worry that she'll run out while I'm washing my hair shoots through me, but I tell myself to stop thinking like that. "Do you mind waiting?"
     "If I get to see the real Jarvis, it's perfectly fine."
     I grin wider. "Okay." I kiss her quickly. On my way to the bathroom, I think, The 'real' Jarvis? That gives me an idea...

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