Chain Reaction 3.22: The Other Foot

Charlotte

     Dwight is back in town! I'm so excited. He's invited me to his house. I can't wait to see him.
     I've remained cool on the phone and texting, not letting him know exactly how I feel. I wanted to tell him in person, and that day is today.

      His mom lets me in, and I find Dwight in the kitchen. "Hi!" I say, maybe a little too excited. "Is it good to be home?" He's down about something. I pause. "What's wrong?"
      "I guess I'm not as good at hiding it as I thought," he replies. He doesn't know I can sense things more than the average person can. "I had an argument with my roommate before I left. He... He was caught cheating, using my term paper as his. At first, they thought to accuse me, but then they realized they were mistaken."
      "Oh no! I'm so sorry." I am. I don't like seeing him down.

     "I just feel like it's somehow my fault, you know?"
     "It's not," I tell him and hold his arms...which are surprisingly muscular. He's so dreamy and sweet and smart. Maybe I could kiss him and make it all better. Maybe he's not in the mood for that.
     "If he'd just asked for help, I'd have given it to him."
     "I'm sure."
     "You know what, Charlotte? Losing friends sucks. There's no better way to say it."
     "I know. Boy, do I know." If it weren't for the texting and stuff with Dwight, I don't know what I'd do. I really relied on my friendships with Tommy and Jarvis. (Don't get me started on Jarvis and how he's acting right now!) Sometimes I hang out with Chloe, but she's also been hanging out with Tommy. She likes him. I think she has for a long time. It's just too weird to try to be friendly with Tommy right now, especially since I can tell my sister likes him. I think he's oblivious, though. Chloe also hangs out with our aunt Bella, but Bella kind of gets on my nerves. She keeps 'threatening' to give me a makeover. She'd get onto me for wearing pink, but I wanted to wear pink today. I'm feeling girly.
      "How are you doing, anyway? Let's not talk about me."

     I giggle. "I don't know how much longer I'm going to be able to keep Isabella from giving me a makeover."
     He smirks. "You don't need a makeover. Not everyone needs makeup and designer clothes to look beautiful."
     Eeeeeee! He called me beautiful! My inner self starts jumping up and down and clapping her hands. However, I keep it inside as I say, "You're the sweetest, Dwight." I've been trying to pick up on this flirting thing that Chloe and Bella seemed talented at.
     He chuckles. "I try."
     Here goes. "I'm so glad you're home. Chloe and Bella have been trying to get me a new boyfriend, but I'm not interested in any of the guys they pick out."
     Scowl. "Poor guys. Hopefully, they never found out so that they didn't have to live with the disappointment."
     "Are you going to charm school or what?" I beam at him while he blushes. He blushes! Maybe I can do this. "Well, that's because I'm only really interested in someone else, and I'm very glad he's home from Everton this weekend." Phew! I did it.
     He blinks several times. "Uh, what?" He's not smiling, and my confidence suddenly plummets.
     "Um, I mean..." Oh no.

     "Charlotte?" Oh no. I know that look. I've had that look at least twice.
     No no no. This isn't happening. I thought he'd expect this. I thought he'd be thrilled. Tears start welling up in my eyes.
     I'm like an out of control snowball hurling down the mountain, gathering speed and more snow the farther I go. "I mean I... Don't you know...? I... I have feelings for you. I thought you might... feel the same."
     He covers his face with his hand. "Oh no. Charlotte... Did I make you think that?"

     This is a disaster, but I keep going like an idiot. "Well, you uh, told me I was pretty. You made comments like having sympathy for the boys my sister tries to set me up with."
     "Charlotte, I'm so sorry."
     My lower lip trembles. "No. Don't be. I guess I'm an idiot. I suppose I had this coming." I suddenly don't want to cry in front of him, so I spin around and dash out the back door.
     I should've known he'd catch up to me.

      "Please don't cry. You don't understand. Don't take it personally-"
      I snarl through my hands, "How am I not supposed to take it personally, Dwight? You're so smart. Answer me that!"
      "Because I meant all those things I said. I just didn't realize I was even saying them. When I'm around you or talk on the phone, it's like words just start coming out of my mouth with no rhyme or reason. But I can't do this right now."
      "That makes no sense."
      "I wish I hadn't have said them."
      I let out a kind of growling squeal and shove him. He takes a step back and then regains his position.
      "You don't understand! I'll berate myself afterwards for how ridiculous I sound."
      "Oh please. You don't sound ridiculous."
      "Yes, I do. Charlotte, please! I just can't do this."
      That makes no sense! I decide to pull a Tommy.

      Oh, it's so nice to kiss him! All except for the way he pushes me away. Curse him for being stronger than me!
      "No, Charlotte. You don't understand."
      "Then make me understand! What? Are you gay?"
      "What?"
      "It's fine if you are, but it would be a nice thing to know."
      "No, I'm not gay."
      Uh-uh. He has to be. He keeps saying that I don't understand. It makes a lot more sense if he's gay. "No. It's the only thing that makes sense here."
      "What you think that just because I don't want a girlfriend that that means I'm gay?"
      "Well?!"
      "I'm not gay. I just can't have a girlfriend right now, Charlotte. Don't be mad. I just want to be friends. I thought you of all people would understand that."
     "I'm leaving." I don't want to listen to this.
     He grabs my hands. "Please wait before you storm off."

     "I understand that teens like to be in relationships, but at this point in my life, I am entirely focused on my studies. I can't let a girlfriend come in and ruin that because she'll be too much of a distraction. I enjoy your company and hope we can remain friends."
     "And if not?" I'm still mad.
     He swallows. "Then I wish you the best."
     I want to slap him. "You're right, Dwight. Losing friends sucks. Goodbye." I pull my hands away and walk away from him. Before I turn the corner, however, I look back and see him with his hands over his face. He deserves it.

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The Foster house: