Chain Reaction 3.54: Bulldog

A/N: Now, we finally hear what Alex has to say before going forward.
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Alex

     My son is me. He embodies all the things about myself that I do not like, including that time of my life when I had a hopeless obsession with a woman who would never want me like I wanted her. I could teach him, try to tell him, that the path he's on leads to nothing but pain, but just as I knew myself from the past, I know he won't listen.

     Instead, he is my rival. He will not back down completely unless something drastic occurs, and even then, he may still hold onto a dream with more grip than a bulldog. I will never underestimate him. He's dangerous.

     But so am I.

     And precious Emily is caught in the middle. He had his chance, and he blew it. And I decided to sweep her up in my arms and take her to a better place, my innermost heart. He could never do that because of one of the few ways we're actually different. He lacks compassion.

     Surely he knows I can see the game he's playing. One would think that he'd have learned from watching me that being "friends" with her won't work.

     He will destroy himself if he remains on the path he's chosen. And the last thing I will ever let happen is that he takes Emily with him. However, I don't have much fear of that, even if I'll remain vigilant, because of the way he inevitably ruins his chances on his own. Right now, she's probably crying in the bathroom.

     I hate that it's partly my fault she's crying, but I can't back down from this challenge because I know to do so would be folly.

     But after I tell him off and he storms away, Emily comes back out onto the patio looking quite calm. She's made a decision about something; I can tell from her demeanor. But what is what I'd like to know. For the first time today, actual fear that she's decided she's had enough of me shoots through me like piranhas when they smell death.

     She's so devastatingly beautiful, and the skirt/shorts thing she's wearing, whatever it's called, is utterly distracting. It's been too long since I've really been allowed to make love to her, and I ache for it as if I were eighteen. I have to get her out of here.

     Once we get home, I help Alaric with his homework. That done, I go in search of my wife.

     I find her and let her know just how much her attire has been driving me out of my mind.

     But it's more than that, and I have to know. What is it, Emily? I search her eyes, her face, her lips, and then back to her eyes. There! There it is! In a few short hours, something about her has changed, and it's... earth-shatteringly sexy, a kind of super-maturity that I've known was there all along. She's found it.

     "You. Are. Incredible." I could eat her alive. Apparently, she must be thinking along the same lines because she's just as ravenous as I am.

     I take her to bed and can't get enough. Every time I think I'm done for the night, all I have to do is look at her and realize yet again how plumbing wonderful she is, and desire takes control.

     We've stopped again, and she rests in my arms. I open my eyes and look at her, and parts of my anatomy that should by all rights be worn out come back to life. She's my perfect mate, my perfect match.

     I look at her eyelashes as they rest against her cheek. She looks so peaceful, and I hate to wake her. But in looking at her like I am, I'm aroused again.

     I kiss her nose. "Emily?" She makes a long, moaning sound. She. Is. Exhausted. Still, I kiss her mouth. But I get zero response. If she weren't breathing, I'd be worried. She has left me for dreamland. I'll have to wait until morning. I'll just have to revel in my desire. It'll give me fuel.

     She sleeps like a princess. No. A queen. My beautiful Queen Emily.
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Drake

     In the midst of all the protesting excitement, it becomes time for my son to age up.

      He looks like a decent cross between Violet and me.

      We have a party for him, but not many people show up. Mom, Dad, Kenneth, and Emily come, but that's it. The entire time, the atmosphere in the house in tense. I try my best to keep the conversation going, but I feel like my every word is heavily scrutinized by my father, especially if it's directed at Emily. I get aggravated at how my mother takes every opportunity to snub Emily. She used to like her so much!

     I take Mom aside and ask her to stop treating Emily like she's dirt under her fingernails. Mom's eyes widen, and she says that the only reason she's acting like she is is because of the way Emily has treated me by breaking up with me and marrying my father. I don't correct her with the fact that I stupidly broke up with Emily. It's nice to have someone on my side for once, but I tell her to be polite for my sake.

     A few days later, Roland tells me I have a visitor in the living room. I go down to see, and I smile when I see it's Emily. Alone.

     "Emily!" She looks over at me before quickly looking away again. "Hi! I wasn't expecting to see you until tonight at the rally. What's up?" I go have a seat next to her.

      Her expression looks pained when she turns back in my direction. "Drake, do you... I mean I don't mind waiting. I mean..." Her ears turn a little red. "Would you mind getting dressed first?"

      "Huh?" I look down. Oh... I'd gotten used to going around like this at home. "Uh, sorry, I guess. I was just working out. I'll go change if you're uncomfortable. Sorry." I get up and dutifully take a quick shower and get dressed before coming back downstairs.

     "Better?" I ask.

     "Sorry. It's not like it's anything I haven't seen before, but, um..."

     "It's fine, Ems. I wasn't thinking. I just don't wear much when I work out." I'm glad this isn't awkward. Well, more awkward than it could be. At least for me. I more get the feeling Emily was more distracted than distraught, and that's a good thing. I have changed some since she last saw me naked.

     I decide to get the conversation moving along. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" Because it is indeed a pleasure, especially since you came without Pops. 

     "Sorry for coming over uninvited-"

     "You're always invited, Emily," I interrupt.

     "I wanted to talk to you about the other day--without Alex here."

     I suddenly wonder something. "Does Dad know you're here?" If he doesn't know, that means she's sneaking around, and that would be very good for me.

     "Yes." Damn. "He doesn't like it, but he has to trust me."

     "But he doesn't trust me." And he shouldn't.

     She purses her tempting lips for a second. "Can I trust you, Drake?"

     I open my mouth to say something only to swallow my words. Then, I look away. Plum it. I wish she hadn't have asked that. This means either she gets up and leaves because she can't trust me or I really do have to play the good guy. Either way, if trusting me means I get to see her more without Dad, I'll do it.

     My voice is almost a whisper. "Yes." I look down and pick off a piece of lint from my pant leg.

     "Good."

     Even if it means pretending to be a saint, I'll do it for you. You're worth every ache. We WILL be back together one day, and not a day will go by when you won't hear from me how much I love you. "What did you want to talk about specifically?"

     I watch her lips as she speaks. "I'm asking you to lay off Alex. I know you see him as someone who's ruined your life, but he's still your dad. Dads are important." She looks around, and I watch her neck in the light. "And look around you, Drake. Really, would you call all this a ruined life?"

     I have to be good. But I can't let her think I'm going to totally back down. "Maybe." The most major difference would be to have you back in it. 

     She makes a scoffing sound, but her tone is still congenial. "No. You've made a success of yourself, all by yourself."

     My eyes drop to her necklace. "I had help." Kenneth, Donovan Franco... Your brother even. 

     "That was still you doing the most with that help, if you're determined not to take credit."

     I grin. "If you're determined to compliment me, then I should just say thank you."

     She smiles back, lighting up my world. "Good."

     I want to laugh. If I didn't know any better, she acts like she just said 'good boy' and then would pat me on the head like a dog. I'd let her if she'd let me lick her face.

     "Then you see that Alex didn't ruin your life." She looks slightly victorious.

     What the? How did she do that? Plum. I won't admit that. "I'm afraid I must still disagree." I pause. "Though I will definitely admit he's not totally to blame. I did plenty of self-inflicting damage as well." I let my eyes sweep her torso down and up. If hadn't have said she could trust me, I would be lying on top of her on this couch with her legs on either side of me by now. I have to put forth serious effort to restrain my hand from reaching over and rubbing her thigh.

     You said she could trust you. Now, behave like a good little lapdog. At least a dog might get away with humping her leg.

     "Drake, it's in the past. If it helps, I forgive you for anything you might've said to me."

     "But I was such a plum-head, Emily!" No no. Don't lose it now. 

     "You were angry. I understand."

     I pause. "You really forgive me?"

     "Yes."

     I look at her and smile. Hope shines brightly. Then, my father's face comes into my mind like a dark cloud. "But that doesn't really change anything, though, does it?"

      She pauses to think. "If you mean does it mean we'll get back together? I don't see that happening, Drake. I'm here to try and make peace."

      I clench my fist. Peace isn't what I want. What I want is the woman sitting next to me. And she wants peace. I quickly imagine saying no to her version of peace, and the result is she leaves and doesn't come back. I think of a compromise. "I can't promise anything immediately."

     "But you'll put forth an effort? Stop the verbal stabbing?"

     "As long as I'm not provoked, I'll try." That's not a promise at all. His mere presence provokes me.

     She at least pretends to buy it, though. "Thank you. I guess I can't ask for more than that."

     I nod.

     "See you tonight at the rally." Her footfalls' echo gets softer and softer as she walks away. When the door closes, I ponder what to do next.