Uncomplicated 3.15: Da-da

     I go home, and Bonnie tries repeatedly to get me to tell her what's wrong. I won't talk. I don't want to hear the 'I told you so' that would be coming. My reputation has lost me the best man ever created.
    Edward was absolutely right. He has to care what the public thinks, so he can't let himself associate with me. Didn't I try to point this out to him several times? Each time, he acted like I was being ridiculous.
     He'd do better without me, and I'll have to learn to live without him.

     I stay busy. For one thing, we throw Wren's birthday party. Bonnie does the cake with her. She's spent more time taking care of her than I have, putting their relationship meter the tiniest bit higher. I'm sure if Luke were a member of the household, it'd be he that took her to the cake.

     Bonnie puts her in one of my old outfits.

     I'm starting to see what everyone else sees: She looks a lot like me.

     Dad spends a lot of time snuggling his granddaughter. I can't explain the melancholy look on his face. Maybe he's remembering how hard his life was when I was that young.

     Luke adores his daughter, eating it up with her calling him 'Da-da.' After Mom and Dad leave, he hogs her all to himself.

     We haven't really spoken since that conversation in the garden the morning of election day. I worried we would see him less, that he would take out my rejection on our daughter, but he doesn't change his habits. I'm glad. Wren doesn't need to feel the tension that would cause.

     While he plays with our daughter in the bedroom, I go around and clean things up. Everywhere I look makes me think of Edward. He's all over this place. I look at the little wall at the shower and think of him. The chickens make me think of him. There are the chairs where we sat quietly just before I went into labor. That marked the last time I saw him for ages, and it was because he thought it would be best for Luke and me to get married and be a real family.
     Well, he might get his wish. I don't know. I need to think. But I'm too busy!

     "I've gotta get going," Luke tells me while I work on fixing my leaking sink. He lightly tickles Wren as he says in a mock growl, "And this little bugger refuses to get sleepy!"
     She giggles hysterically, and I smile and wonder if the reason she's not sleepy is that Luke can't stop playing.
     "Da-da!" Wren shouts emphatically and gets a tight grip on his tie.
     Luke makes a mock choking face, making her giggle again, and he loosens the child's grip before kissing her fingers. "Da-da be back tomorrow." He kisses her forehead and puts her on the floor.
     "Unh! Unh!" she grunts and reaches up for him, opening and closing her hands like she can grab the air to pull him back to her.
     "I'll see you tomorrow, baby. I love you." He blows her a kiss, and Wren starts crying. He can't hide the pain on his face as he walks out the door.
     I can't hide a few sniffles of my own as I do nothing but make the sink worse. Throwing the wrench into the bottom of it, I lean down on my elbows and cry as loudly as my toddler.

      Over the next little while, I teach Wren to talk, and I discover that she's definitely her father's daughter.

     Months pass, and Bonnie helps me weed and water the plants. As long as she's not harvesting them, I can sell the produce, and I make a surprisingly-large amount of money.
     I write the last check to Edward, and a few days later, I get the deed to the house in the mail. After safely storing it away, I go have a crying fit down by the water. I'd go have it on my bed, but Wren is taking her nap.
     Why did I hope that for some reason Edward would hand-deliver it? I'd let myself fantasize about him coming over, smiling, and he'd ask me to dinner so we could go celebrate. That was a ridiculous idea, Anastasia! He's far too busy.

     Over the next year, I DO start reading the paper, and I find where he's opened more water towers, wanting to take advantage of rainwater (let's pretend there is some), and he's started water treatment plants, creating jobs and cleaning up the water for reusing. Now, he's pushing to start using solar power and wind for energy. He's a very good mayor, and I smile as I read about his successes. However, the other reason I'm reading the paper is never far from my thoughts: to see if he's with anyone yet. When that day comes, I swear to myself that I'll burn every copy of every article I have in my collection, scrapbook, everything, and I'll never touch the newsprint again.
     Luke still visits almost daily, always finding time for Wren, even if he acts exhausted from work. He's always really nice to me, never once bringing up how he wouldn't have to say goodbye to his daughter every day if we only got married.

     I'm out weeding my plants when I hear, "Ana." Suddenly thinking it's Edward, after all he's the only one to ever call me that, I stand up and spin around in a hopeful way only to see Luke watching me.

     I do my absolute best to keep my disappointment from showing as I ask, "Yes?"
     He asks me how I'm doing and tells me that he's gotten a promotion. This promotion gives him better, more normal, work hours. I congratulate him, but I can tell he has more to say. From the look in his eyes, I can guess that moment has come.
     "...not just because we have a child together, but... because I love you, Anastasia," he finishes the end of a speech I numbly missed.
     My heart breaks. Nooooo! it screams. My hands fly up and cover my face.
     "I just wanted you to know," he says sadly. "I was hoping that you would reconsider giving us a chance. I have forever regretted my initial reaction to you telling me that you were pregnant. I hope I've more than proven that the things I said, the things I did are no longer me." He stops, easily reading my body language. "Will you at least think about it?" he begs.
     I swallow a sob. He's really turned into a great guy. Why can't he be the one that I want? "I will," I say and pull my hands away from my, thankfully dry, face.
     He takes a step forward and holds my head in his hands. Then, he leans in and kisses me, keeping it simple but still full of pent-up emotion. My heart only rips further, and I know that I probably will end up marrying Luke. We'll be happy here. Wren will have a better life, too.

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