Lemming 2.6: Worth Waiting For

Jenny

      Emmett likes me! He actually likes me! It all makes sense! That day when he came over and apologized for being a dumb kid, he was trying to tell me he made a mistake, but he didn't want to push for anything because I was already with Hugo.

     I'm also so glad that he doesn't want to ask for anything more than what I can handle. I can't handle having an actual boyfriend right now, but it's so nice to know that we're headed in that direction.

     I like hugging him and feeling his arms around me, and I like holding hands. Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to kiss him, but I think if I tried that right now, I'd panic. The only guy I've ever kissed was Hugo. What if I suck at it? What is it like to kiss somebody else? Will everything change for the worse if it happens? Will Emmett start trying to control me? I keep trying to tell myself everything will be okay, but these doubts won't leave me alone.

      For something to do, I've started trying to teach Emmett to cook. He tells me I confuse him by the way I explain things. I guess I do; all my instructions are so scattered, like I'll tell him to do something he should have done after the fact. So, we decided to start watching a cooking show. I Tivo the episodes during the week, and we watch them all on Saturday.

      "I don't get why she sometimes mixes with the spoon and other times uses the mixer," Emmett says critically. I can't help but smile at his over-analyzing.

      "She's wanting a different consistency," I explain.

      "Why? What does it matter? Either way, it's mixed. Does it really make that much of a difference?"

      "Maybe it depends on her mood. Maybe she has arthritis sometimes and not other times, and she prefers to mix by hand but has to use the mixer when her arthritis flares up," I offer.

     "Huh. Maybe. I didn't think of that."

      One thing we have discovered about Emmett and cooking: he likes to grill out. So, on Sundays, he fixes dinner while I paint. I'm working on replacing the lost painting I'd done when Emmett and I found out we were neighbors.

      "How's the painting coming?" he calls over to me. He likes to watch me paint, but it makes me self-conscious and nervous. So, I force him to stay away until I've either decided to take a break or have finished.

      "Don't worry about the painting; worry about whether or not those burgers are gonna get burned," I warn playfully.

     He chuckles quietly and starts trying to flip the spatula. He drops it in the dirt and rapidly picks it up. I pretend like I didn't see.

     He keeps using it! Oh well, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? Besides, it's just dirt.

     He triumphantly places the platter on the table and tells me they're done.

      I sit down and decide to tease him to see what he'll do.

      "They're a bit...crunchy. I don't know what it is...kind of gritty," I say and hold in a giggle.

     "Uh... Maybe the burger picked up some grit from the surface of the grill."

     "Or maybe from when you dropped the spatula?" I ask.

      I crack up laughing. I can't help it. He's such a perfectionist! He needs to learn that a little bit of dirt is okay.

      His shoulders slouch in the chair, and for a moment, I worry that he's getting upset.

      "Emmett, it's okay," I say and giggle again. "A little dirt never killed anybody."

     He finally gives me a more-relaxed smile. "Oh all right, I'll fess up. I dropped the spatula on the bricks after trying to be cool and flip it in the air. You weren't supposed to see that, by the way."

     A couple more giggles escape before I say, "Fine. I'll go back to pretending I didn't see it."

     "Thanks." His grin widens.

     Another month passes, and I fear that Emmett will start losing patience with me, but he never pushes.

     I set up another easel, this one more in the front yard so I can get a different vantage point for paintings. Surprisingly, I don't have to worry about someone coming and stealing anything.

     My dad has a heart attack. He's okay, but it pushes Emmett and me to become more interested in our health. We work out more and watch our portions. 

     Emmett has the dorkiest workout attire ever. Honestly, I wonder if Justin put it together for him. You can't really see it in this picture, but he looks ridiculous in those socks. The shorts and shoes don't go right with the hoodie. Now, the sunglasses are actually kind of hot, but that's all I'll say about that.

    The Maker needs to stop being so lazy and put together different outfits for us because we've been wearing the same one too much. Now, we do have five everyday outfits, but we keep using the same ones.

     Emmett goes to take a shower and then comes outside to...watch me paint.

     "Emmett..." I complain.

     "Pretend I'm not here," he says quickly.

     "I can't do that," I counter. Oh my gosh, the fantastic SMELL of him after he's taken a shower is enough of a distraction! Emmett always smells good. He never overdoes the aftershave or whatever it is. Just enough. Just enough to make my knees shake.

     "But I like watching you," he reasons, and I sigh.

     Why can't you secretly watch me from your back porch then? Why must you be over here torturing me?

     I get an idea.

    "You like watching me, huh?" I ask in a sultry, suggestive voice and strike a flirty pose.

    He's not prepared for that. I can tell by the way he brings his hand up to slowly run his fingers through his hair.

     "I...I meant..." he stammers, and I giggle in a sexy way.

     "The painting..." He keeps trying to talk, but I can see his eyes start trying to figure out what's going on. "Gorgeous. Uh! Coming along nicely," he finishes quickly.

     "Thank you," I say sweetly, "but it'll never get finished if you keep standing there. You're too much of a distraction."

     I wonder what it would be like to kiss him. Oh, I've wondered a million times already, but I wonder again what it would be like to feel his full lips on mine. He has really full lips for a guy, and I bet they'll feel wonderful.

     He starts taking several deep breaths.

    I turn and manage to complete a brush stroke without shaking.

    A smile is in his voice as he says, "Well then, I'll go practice chess...right over there. Hopefully...Is that far enough away that I'm no longer a distraction?"

    He's teasing me. Well, I was teasing him a second ago.

    "I guess it's worth a try," I answer evenly, needing to go inside and take a cold shower.

     I eventually finish it. It's not the same, but I decide to hang it in my kitchen.

     Over the next few days, Emmett comes over for dinner each night, and I decide cuddling while watching a movie is okay.

     Last night, I think he almost kissed me. Something made him stop, and I don't know whether or not I'm disappointed.

      "Thanks for meeting me out here. I wanted to show you something," Emmett says as we stand out in the garden behind the duplex. He has a goofy look on his face that makes me giggle.

      "What?" I ask with a smile.

     He suddenly looks like he doesn't know what to say. Then, with a silly smile, he exclaims, "The....fountain!"

     I laugh. "Emmett, sometimes you are so weird." Then I turn to go.

     "No no, wait!" he quickly says and grabs my hand.

      I stay quiet while he says, "Yeah, okay. That was a little goofy, but I'm wanting to be serious, honest. I just...really think this garden is nice. I mean, you keep painting it but never actually go into it."

     "I guess you're right," I say with a small smile. His hand starts shaking, and he lets mine go.

     "Yeah, um... You know, I just thought it was a good place and all since you like it, and... Well, we're okay, right?" He looks like he wants the earth to swallow him up.

     "Yes, we are," I answer him, and then I suddenly worry. Is he getting fed up with waiting for me to be okay? I'm okay! It's been long enough. I'm just nervous because it HAS been a while. How do I tell him this? "I'm okay," I say in a small voice.

     The strained, stressed look to his face suddenly disappears, and he lets out a quick breath.

      Emmett just kissed me.

      The birds sing pretty songs in the trees. The distant sound of children laughing on the playground gets carried over on the light breeze. The setting sun warms my face. I'm so alive.

     "Jenny?" Emmett asks in a very worried voice, probably due to my silence. I've hardly moved, hardly breathed since he kissed me. My eyes slowly open to see the worried expression that goes with the voice. "Jenny, I..." he says weakly.

     I move, and he winces and tenses up. Emmett kissed me! A smile starts growing on my face, and when he sees it, he relaxes. The world is a beautiful place.

      I take a small step towards him and kiss him on the cheek. My sweet, always polite Emmett kissed me after waiting for months.

      He slowly wraps an arm around my waist, and another one comes up to cradle the back of my head...

     ....and he kisses me again.

      I thought... I thought geeks weren't supposed to be able to kiss like this. Emmett gently guides my mouth in the kiss in such a way that makes my insides melt. His tongue sweetly teases mine, sometimes making me give chase. My jaw gets nudged by his as he turns our heads to take advantage of different angles, and his lips feel every bit as fantastic as I'd imagined, like sweet marshmallows. The way he holds me makes me feel like I'm the greatest treasure he's ever known.

      What do I know? I've only ever kissed Hugo. One thing I do know, though: Emmett is far better.

     I've always noticed how completely focused Emmett gets. Now, I find out what it's like to be the subject of his intense focus. Plus, he encourages me to forget everything else but him as his fingers on the back of my neck hold me to him, begging me to let him continue kissing me.

    Only when I fear I'm about to faint does he start slowing down.

     He pulls back, and I cling to him as he smiles that smile that I've always loved, that sweet smile that, deep down, I wanted to be just for me. Now, it is. Maybe it's always been.

     He reaches his hand up to lightly stroke my cheek, but my knees wobble. He laughs quietly and goes back to holding onto me.

     His voice sounds full of emotion as he says, "I've been wanting to do that for a long time now."

     I can't help but think how much better Emmett the man is than Emmett the teen. Maybe we both needed to grow up. "I've been wanting for longer," I tell him simply, wrap my arms tightly around his neck, and kiss him.

    A thrilled sigh comes out his nose as he lifts my feet off the ground and kisses me with pure joy, holding me tightly and letting me know that I'll always be worth waiting for.