Lemming 13: That's My Name

Jenny

    Bob moves out to his own house, but Jocelyn sticks around, staying in the room that Justin and I used to share. Justin and Katherine really get along great. I've been slowly warming up to everyone. Hugo says that I should give them a chance, to be happy they're happy.

    He's over here again today. He's been coming over a lot lately. Sometimes, he and Justin go play computer games together. But Justin's not here today, out again with Miss Priss.

    "So, I should be happy for them even though I'm not that happy," I say to him after he tells me to be happy for my dad and step-mom.

    "Why are you still hung up on this guy, whoever he is?" he asks. I still haven't told him who.

    "I'm not 'hung up on him.' I'm just sad," I correct him with a huff.

    "Honestly, Jenny, the guy obviously has to be blind and stupid. He has the hottest girl in school telling him she likes him and he says he wants to 'focus on his studies'?!"

    I laugh at him calling me the hottest girl in school. Hugo's full of compliments, but I don't take him seriously. I think he's just trying to make me feel better.

    "I know. It's crazy, right?" he asks, mistaking the reason for my laughter.

    "Yeah, crazy you calling me the hottest girl in school. Puh-lease."

     "Don't 'puh-lease' me. Don't you ever look in the mirror?"

     I make a 'psh' noise like I don't believe him. "Yeah. I'll look in the mirror. I'll do that in a sec. I need to potty." He chuckles at the way I said it. "Be right back."

     When I come out of the bathroom, I stand up next to the television and say, "It's Emmett, but don't tell anybody."

     He blinks hard, probably surprised I just up and told him. I like how he's never outright asked, but I know he's bound to have been wondering. "Then...the kid lacks common sense."

     I roll my eyes playfully and flop down next to him on the orange couch.

     "Okay, fine. So, he's got no sense. I don't wanna talk about him anymore."

     "Okay," he says and looks at me strangely.

     "I told you my secret crush; now, you tell me yours. That's what friends do, right?" I cut my eyes to him and start wondering about what Jocelyn said, her thinking it's me. Well, he's about to prove her wrong.

     "Uh, remember? You're braver than I am."

     I roll my eyes again. "Puh-lease, Hugo." I nudge him hard with my shoulder. "It's just me, just Justin's crazy sister."

     "Yeah. That makes it easier," he says with some sarcasm, and I can't figure out what he means by that. After a pause when I stare at him expectantly, he asks, "What if I told you that if I told you it would ruin our friendship?"

     I scowl. "I doubt it."

     "No. One way or another, it would."

     "I promise I won't get mad," I say quickly. I've started wondering if it's Annalise. He probably thinks I'll get mad at him for liking my brother's girlfriend.

     He laughs nervously. "Well, that's good. Are you sure you want to know?" I nod my head, and he reaches over to hold my hand.

    He gets the other one and holds both.

    He needs to hold my hands to tell me?

    "Her name...is Jenny Keilani," he says quietly while looking me in the eyes.

    "Huh? That's my name," I say stupidly.

    He takes a patient breath. "Yes, it is. Yours. You. It's you, Jenny. It's always been you. Ever since we were kids."

    I sit quietly and let him keep holding my hands. I feel strangely disconnected from my body. "This is what you meant when you said it would ruin our friendship."

    He swallows hard. "Yes. Now, either you hate me...or we're more than friends."

    "Of course I don't hate you. I don't know why you'd think I'd hate you. Sure, you get on my nerves sometimes...plenty of times...most of the time, but I...like it. That's why I keep putting up with you. Other than my brother, you've been my only real friend, and that's just because you insisted."

    His eyes sink to our held hands, and I sense an overwhelming sadness from him. I keep waiting for him to say something, but he stays quiet.

    "I don't want our friendship ruined," I say.

    "I don't want to ruin it either except to make it more. I know I'm not Emmett, but I was hoping you'd give me a chance," he says like a last-ditch effort.

     I remember how I felt when Emmett said he wasn't interested in me. I wanted to die. I had so built up my hopes for that moment only for everything to come crashing down. And I had only known him for a little while! Hugo has known me almost my whole life, and he says he's always liked me.

     "So...all that time when you were teasing me on the playground and calling me 'paint nose,' you liked me?" I ask.

    He laughs quietly and closes his eyes. "You looked so cute with the paint on your nose. I didn't know what else to do, so I teased you about it."

    I take a deep breath. "I'm not saying no. I'm just so surprised that I'm trying to deal with it, and I'm not good at 'dealing' with things. I have this bizarre feeling like I want to start laughing and jumping up and down on the couch like a kid."

    He laughs again, this time a little louder. "Jenny, one of the things I love about you is that I never know what's going to come out of your mouth next."

    "...one of the things I love about you..." he said. He really really likes me.

    "Is it so much a surprise that you're the one I like?" he asks. "Have I shown any sign that it could've been somebody else?"

    "I thought you were just good at hiding it," I reply.

    "Apparently too good," he says in an undertone. He takes a steadying breath and opens his eyes to stare at me hard. "Okay, Jenny, I'm going to be brave here. I'm crazy about you. I think you're gorgeous. You always keep me guessing. You get these expressions on your face that make me want to say, 'Stop! Hold that one for a second so I can look at it for a little longer before you move onto the next one!' But you never do, and I wind up not regretting it. I love the way you look at life when you're not moping, sometimes even when you're moping. I just want you to give someone that likes you a chance. Just a chance, that's all."

     Thinking about Hugo as the boyfriend type isn't something I'm used to. I've only been interested in one boy since becoming a teen. It's not like I couldn't think about Hugo like that; I just have to wrap my head around it.

    "I can do that," I say quietly, and we stand up.

     "Thank you," he breathes and wraps his arms around me in a very close hug.

     He doesn't let go as quickly as I expect, but I try to act cool with it. "No problem."

     He breathes in, turns his head a little, and says, "I like your perfume."

     "I don't remember putting any on."

     "You sure?"

     "Yeah, I think so anyway."

     "Hm," he remarks thoughtfully and starts smelling my neck, running his nose along it. His breath tickles, but I kinda like it.

     "Right here," he says quickly and kisses my neck.

     Hugo just kissed my neck!

     "Whatever it is, it's coming from right...here." He kisses me again, this time slower and more deliberate.

     My voice sounds strangely breathless as I say, "Hugo! Stop." Isn't it enough that I'm no longer thinking of you as just a friend?

     He laughs quietly and lets me go.

    He grins sheepishly at me and says, "Sorry. I couldn't resist. Do you...wanna go catch a movie or something Friday night?"

    I smile a small smile and nod my head yes. Then the thanks me, hugs me quickly, and leaves, saying he'll see me at school tomorrow.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sooooooo.....I was testing out different teen romantic interactions and wanted to know what "messing around" was:

Looks like it's this. That surprised me.