Chain Reaction 3.1.62: Freeing

Michael

     Today was amazing. I finally married the love of my life. Sure, the wedding didn't go exactly to plan, but that's not what matters. What matters is that at the end of it, Darrin and I are married.

      We rent a great place on a more-secluded part of the island.

     I love the view from the master bedroom, but the first thing we do is make good use of the bed.

     Darrin passes out, but I'm still hyped up from today, so I go swimming. I really like the seclusion.

     I swim out to a tiny island, so small that nothing is built on it. I have the strangest desire to somehow write 'Mike was here' somewhere around me.

     Instead, I decide to entertain myself by building a sand sculpture. Did I mention I was naked? The best part is I'm not worried about it. No one can see me. It's freeing in its own way. I've gone around making sure not even Darrin can see the ugly damage that snake did. I can barely stand to look at myself, but right now, that doesn't matter. And it's wonderful.

      I let out a sigh, smiling. I know I'll have to make my way back to the house in a little bit. The sun will be up in a few, short hours.

      My ears catch the faint sound of footsteps on the sand behind me. My smile vanishes, and my muscles freeze up as my hands cover myself. I can barely move as I turn and see Darrin standing there.

     "How long have you been here?" I can't keep the accusation from my voice. Was he SPYING on me? I ASKED him not to look!

     He holds his hand out in front of him in a subconscious defensive move. "Only as long as seeing you finish the sand sculpture and stand up. I wasn't expecting you to be naked."

     Oh, but of course HE is. Why should he worry? He wasn't sliced up by a butcher.

     My thoughts must show on my face. "Michael, I wasn't out here to sneak up on you, but when I got here, well, I admit I was surprised." He's walked up to me, just out of arms' reach.

     "Did you... Did you see?"

     He looks at my hands and then back at my eyes. "Yes."

     I want to sink into the sand. "Oh, plum." I should just run away, but Darrin reaches for my wrist. In order to turn and leave or get him to let go, I'd have to move my other hand away.

     "Wait." He pulls one hand away and gets hold of the other one.

      I hate that I'm crying, but this is not what I wanted to happen! I wanted him to remember me how I was. Now that image in his mind is ruined. Oh, I knew I'd not be able to stay hidden forever, but I wanted at least to last the honeymoon.

     "You're gorgeous," he whispers.

     I shake my head no. I mean, things are better now than they looked right after it happened. The scar tissue isn't red and alarming anymore. But that doesn't mean I agree with him.

     "Yes. You are." He moves my other hand, and I've never felt so exposed, not even the first time I'd modeled nude for Hugh. "Are you calling me a liar?"

     I scowl. "Darrin, look! I'm hideous!"

     "I've never thought that, not even with the awful images seared into my mind from when we finally found you. You were injured, and it broke my heart. But you are healed now, Michael. Can't you see what I'm saying?"

     It had never occurred to me. He saw me the way Drake left me, meaning he saw what Drake had done to me. He's known the entire time how bad it was. And I'd been so worried and determined to keep hidden.

     "You knew," I whisper.

     "I knew more than I wanted to know might be a way to say it. But that has never stopped how much I love you and how I've always thought you were the sexiest man alive." He kisses my tears while I let everything he just said soak in and warm even the most secluded places in my heart.

     Plum. As if I needed any more reason to know I'll never love anyone like I do him! 

      Yes, coming out tonight was indeed freeing. I can finally stop worrying about what Darrin will think of me, and I relax deep in my soul.