Chain Reaction 3.16: Full Circle

Jarvis

       The proverbial train wreck. I keep staring at Tommy Keenan trying to suck Lottie's face off, and every time I blink, I pray that when I open my eyes again that I won't see it anymore. It doesn't work. They keep going.

      It's like I'm a bighorn sheep with entirely too much testosterone. I want to bash his head in.

      That's... He's kissing... little Lottie. I irrationally want to say 'my' Lottie, but I manage to stop the thought. Because obviously... she's not. And she's kissing him back, trying to be as wild as he is.

      This isn't happening.

      Would you two STOP IT already?! I still hope I'm imagining things. Maybe this is a nightmare. I'll start the day over, give up the wonderful day of finally achieving my dream of a store just to keep this from happening. Please, let it be a nightmare!

      They stumble but manage to prevent themselves from completely falling over. He chuckles, and she laughs quietly with him. Then, he touches her face and starts kissing her again.

       My eyes prick. I can't take this! Why am I still standing here?

       He mumbles something to her--like a question, and she nods like whatever he said was right. He kisses her nose in a way that a normal person would consider sweet, but I'm full of a crippling rage. My cheeks are wet, and I want to scream before wrapping my hands around Tommy's throat. Just as I almost succumb to dashing over to them, I snap out of it.

       I have to get out of here! 

      Go. Go. Go. Go go go go go go go go go go go go go. I don't know what else to do, so I just run.

      I get home, dash up the stairs, and collapse into a ball on the floor.
      "NOOOOOO!" I scream. Strange noises come out of me as I pull at my hair. If I were mentally capable, I'd wonder at why I'm reacting this drastically, but all I can think is that I had a plan. I was going to get to be with her again! To see her almost everyday again! Oh, the pain! I've never had my chest ache this badly before. I can't take it!
      After an unknown, long amount of time, I lie down on the floor and get quiet, temporarily cried out. This floor is dusty when you look closely at it. Doesn't matter. It's home.
      Lots of time passes. I may have fallen asleep; I don't know. I just know I have to get up off the floor.

       What am I going to do now? I realize everything I was doing over the past years was mainly so that I could show Lottie someday. I guess I always knew I'd want her back--even if we're friends for a long time. Even just being friends means that I'd still get to be near her, talk to her, see her.

      But I'd still hoped for the chance to be with her--romantically. She looked pretty involved with Tommy Keenan, though. What's sick is if I wonder if I'd just missed it by a mere few hours. Now that I think about it, it did look like Tommy was celebrating. I plumbing hate him.

      Jarvis, you are an idiotic fool. By walking away, you may as well have wrapped her up with a bow and hand-delivered her to that twerp.

      I know I need to be coming up with a gameplan. I can't let myself mope forever, but right now, I just want to wilt from the regular world.

      The next morning, I know there's no point in trying to do anything because Lottie is at school. Besides, I need to get more inventory.

      After harvesting the trash cans and rocks then taking a shower, I have a seat on a park bench. I have to figure out a way to get Lottie back.
      "Nice shoes," I hear to my left. I see polka dot stockings before some girl sits next to me.

      "You do realize they don't match your shirt at all."
      I snort and roll my eyes. Great. A sorority-type giving me fashion advice. "Shouldn't you be in school?"
      "It's finals week. They let us out at noon. I'm graduating soon. I can hardly believe it! When did you graduate?" she asks in a bubbly voice. Bubblegum pink.
      "I didn't."
      "You're skipping class? And here I thought you were older than me."

     "I dropped out." Maybe I can scare her away.
     She covers her mouth theatrically. "I've wanted to do that, but my dad would probably kill me." She waits for me to reply, and when I don't, she asks, "You look like you're down about something. Need any help?" Sticky like bubblegum.
     "Why would you think I'm down about something?"
     She smiles sympathetically. "You may as well have a cloud drawn over your head. What happened? Did your dog die?"
      I can tell I'm not going to be able to get rid of her easily. Whatever. She asked for it. "Last night, I saw the girl I'm in love with kissing another guy. Happy now?"

      She starts pelting me with questions, and I tell her that I blame myself for walking away in the first place.
      "Well, she doesn't sound like a very smart girl to turn you down. Maybe you should forget her and go for somebody else." She turns a bit towards me and starts playing with her hair, an 'ask me out' smile on her face.

      I stand up and walk away. "Thanks for the advice, but I'm not interested."
      She says something in reply, but I don't really listen. I'm just surprised at the way she just came up to me like that. I'm afraid that if I'd stayed there much longer she'd have asked me out. Still, she gets me thinking. She just...did it, just walked right up to me.
      I make a decision. I'm going for it. Lottie dating Tommy isn't going to stop me. Yeah, the best thing I can hope for right now is the friend zone, but it's a start.
      Looking at my shoes, I realize they are a bit ridiculous, so I go shopping. I end up buying more than shoes--not something typical, but I'm going to put forth a fresh face.

      There she is. Charlotte. Lottie. And even better: no Tommy.

      I can do this. I'm just going to go up to her...and offer her a job. A real one this time.
      I'm going to throw up.
      No! No, I'm not. I'm fine. It's not like I'm asking her to marry me. I just want her help with the store.
      Somehow, my legs carry me to her.

       "Hi, Lottie." Thank the Maker, my voice didn't crack or stutter.
       She pauses, looking at the wall in front of her, frozen. Then, I get met by those eyes.

       "Wow! My ears didn't deceive me. It is Jarvis Watanabe. In the flesh. And here I thought you'd vanished from the game. What do you want?" Her hands go on her hips, 'get lost' coming from her every pore.
       "Okay. I know. I deserved that and more. I'm sorry."
       "Sorry for what, exactly?"
       "Sorry for... I don't know! Just everything. I don't want to bring it up."
       "Fine. But you still haven't told me what you're doing here."

       "I'm here to, uh... Well, I see you've picked up woodworking."
       "Yeah." She glares. "I needed a new hobby."
       "Well, I think it's great because I... need a few things. Like shelves, for starters."
       "Shelves."
       "Yeah!" I try to smile.
       "Shelves for what?"
       My smile comes easier. "I have a store."

       "You did it." Her smile tells me she understands everything I've gone through.
       "Yeah." Holy plum, she's beautiful. "And it needs shelves and other display cases and stuff." I pause. "So, uh," I scratch the back of my head, "I'm here to commission some work."
       "Lots of people mess around with workbenches, Jarvis. Why me?"
       "Because I, uh... miss... you." Plum. To her look, I hold up my hands and quickly add, "Okay! I know! It's nobody's fault but mine. It's just... I finally reached my goal, looked around, and realized it..." Plum. "...didn't mean anything if I couldn't share it with someone." I'll just go bury myself in a hole. Don't mind me--just a sap, a loser with his heart on his sleeve. "I mean..." I have to save this "I can pay you."
       "You're offering me a job?"

       "Yeah! The place needs a lot of work. Don't you want to come help to open Jarvis' House of Treasured Junk?"
        She giggles, and I'm transported back to the night I met her. Funny how things have come full circle. Now, I'm begging her to come help me out.
        Her phone rings, and still smiling, she tells me to hold on a minute. I'm so happy. It looks like she's going to work with me!
        She answers her phone, "Hi, Tommy."