Rose 2.22: Missing you

Skye

     "...and so that's why they make it so consumers have an easier time reaching the radio buttons while keeping their eyes focused on the road in front of them," a voice drones on.
     I wake up with a start and find myself sitting in class. What?! I think in a panic.
     Was it all a dream? I think with my heart racing, and I reach up to run my hand across my chin... that has a scruffy beard grown on it.
     No! It couldn't have been a dream! I'd never be able to grow a beard this fast! No! I didn't dream Lorelei. I'm married! I have to bring peace between the dragons and the elves!
     Don't I?
     My heart aches from the possibility that everything I thought I'd experienced was only a dream. After all, I had been reading a lot of fantasy books lately.
     But it was so real! I think desperately and feel my hairy jaw, intensely wanting to believe everything really happened.
     Class ends, and students file out. I remember that Donovan has this classroom after me, so I hope to find him in the hallway.

     His eyes widen when he sees me, I guess in reaction to my jaw. I'm suddenly extremely glad that I've never been able to easily grow a beard because if I had been able to, I would feel heartbroken. This beard is my only assurance that Lorelei is real and out there somewhere.
     You have to believe that Lorelei is real and out there somewhere. You're married. You're a negotiator for peace and balance in that world, I try to tell myself as I approach my older brother.
     I tell him about what's happened to me, and he listens as I explain how I seemed to have experienced weeks of time in that other world and yet only about half an hour here. He looks at me like he thinks I'm crazy.

     "We all have crazy dreams from time to time. The other night, I dreamed I was a flying fish in love with a mermaid. Mermaid! Can you believe it? Whoever thought mermaids were real?" he asks.

     My shoulders slump and I say dryly, "Mermaids are real, Donovan. They've come out of hiding."
     "I thought I dreamed that too."
     "You need to get better sleep."
     He suddenly smiles at me. "Like you, eh? I'd like to spend weeks with a beautiful elf maiden too. May I borrow those books? Maybe I can."

     "This is not a joke, Donny! Look at my face! Do you not see my face? When have you ever known me to grow a beard like this this fast? According to this world, I was clean shaven except for the patch just this morning, and now look at me!"
     "I admit the beard is strange, but... all that you tell me is strange too," he says slowly.

     "And I need to get to class. Maybe call Mom. She might be able to explain it," he finishes, looking uncomfortable.
     He thinks I'm crazy.
     I agree and head "home."

    I get there and find Clark in his boxers, playing Warfield X.
    "Get that tank over here! I found a bug! I found a bug!" he eagerly yells into his headset, not even noticing I walked in the door.
     I shake my head at my roommate and call Mom. She tells me that she'll try to figure out what to do. She actually believes me; I'm so glad! Giselle grabs the phone from her and says that she read something about inter-dimensional portals.
     "But I need time to research it, so just stay there for now," my little sister says. I never thought I'd hear the word 'research' come out of her mouth.
     "But how do I know that decades won't pass in her world until I see her again?" Thank goodness she doesn't age fast.
     "That doesn't matter. If I can do this, it won't be much more of a stretch to get you as close to time there as I can. Regular laws of time and space don't apply here, remember?" she answers.
     "If you say so. I guess I don't have much of a choice, do I?"
     Maybe Lorelei can pull me back to her herself, I think with a small amount of hope, thinking that she could make the spell like she'd done before. I go and lie down to try to force myself to take a nap, hoping I'll wake up in those ruins again. I miss her terribly.

Donovan

      My little brother's strange problem slips out of my mind when Shauna walks into the classroom. She's been telling everyone that I'm her boyfriend, and I need to talk to her about it. However, I doubt that here during class is the right time and place.
     Class takes forever, and when I try to corner her afterwards to talk, she complains of needing to quickly rush up to the restroom.

    So, I cross the street from the quad and order myself a chocolate muffin at the cafe. After the woman hands me my order, I see out of the corner of my eye Shauna walk in.

     "Donny?" Shauna asks. "Why did you leave? I came right back downstairs and then saw you were gone. Did I do something wrong?"
     I quickly turn around to reassure her. "Wrong? No. I was hungry. Would you like something?"
     She asks me for a chocolate muffin too since mine looks good, so I go and buy her one. We annoy the woman sitting with us that's trying to read, but the place is suddenly packed. When we finish eating, we get up, and I walk her over to the quieter side room.

      "Something's bothering you," she says when I turn to talk to her.
      "With your parents coming this weekend..."
      "Hold on a sec," she quickly interrupts me and turns to the side to put her bookbag down on one of the empty couches.
      I'm suddenly reminded that right upstairs is where Tiffany told me that she didn't want to see me anymore unless I'd date her exclusively. Now, I have a date with her tomorrow night. I really don't want to mess that up, but right now, I have Shauna with me.
      Shauna turns back to face me. "You're not cancelling on me, are you?" she asks in a small panic.
      I smile at her a small smile and say, "No, of course not. I wouldn't do that to you, but I was wondering if you understand that this is only a show for your parents."

     "Y-yes, of course," she replies like she did think it wouldn't be an act--that she thought I was, in fact, her boyfriend like Tiffany heard. She smiles to belatedly try to hide her embarrassed surprise.
     I smile back at her and say, "You know I think you're beautiful, smart, creative, sexy, and caring, but I don't want a girlfriend at this point in my life."
     "I know," she says quickly and looks down and off to the side. "Why did you feel you had to say that?"

     "Because a little birdy told me that's not what you said to someone else," I respond.
     "Oh," she answers and then smiles a little. "I just wanted her and someone around us at the time to think you were."
     I laugh happily and hold her face in my hands to kiss both her cheeks. She now claims to have said all that on purpose to throw off Tiffany. Whether or not that's true, I like her preemptively jealous reasoning.
     "Perhaps," I say, still holding her face, "come up with something else to say. Hm?"
     She breathes a sigh of relief and nods her head as much as she's able. I lean in and linger on her lips for a while before I take a step back.
     "I have to go, but I'll see you this weekend," I say and kiss her sweet face once more.

     The next evening, Tiffany comes over, and I quickly take her upstairs.

     I hope it's not my wishful thinking, but I think she missed me as much as I missed her. Her flowery scent draws me to her like an addict to his favorite drug. When I hold her in my arms, my entire being sighs with relief.
     Tiffany. Tiffany; she's really here! Why did I let her get away? Even when I was without her, she still managed to sneak her way into my thoughts. Tiffany Tiffany Tiffany. It's always been Tiffany.
     I groan when I discover she wears that flavored lipgloss again. I normally don't like lipgloss; it gets in the way of a woman's natural lips. But with her amazing smell combined with the way she tastes, I love it.
     Tastes... I ponder how she tastes elsewhere, and I groan again.
     "It's so good to have you back, Tiffany," I say quietly to her.

    "Am I back?" she questions, and I pull back a little in confusion.
    "Yes. Of course you are. Where else do you think you are at this moment?" What else could she mean?
    "Right now? I'm starting to make out with you on this couch, but I know you. This doesn't mean anything to you, so I'm wondering what you mean when you say that you're glad I'm 'back.'"
     I shake my head quickly in confusion for a split second. "Doesn't mean anything to me? How can you say that?"

    "What are your plans for this weekend, Donovan?" she asks.
    "I'm pretending to be Shauna's boyfriend, but that doesn't mean anything-" I stop myself.
    She's right, I think in stunned silence. She lightly strokes my face while I try to make sense of everything.
    She whispers, "This weekend, I won't matter because you'll be wrapped up with Shauna in this cruel game you're playing."
    "Of course you will matter! You don't understand!" I quietly snap. "You all matter. Even when you didn't want to see me anymore, you still mattered."
    "So, tell me how this weekend doesn't mean anything but yet Shauna matters," she requests calmly.
    "The act doesn't mean anything," I try to explain to both her and myself.
    "My point is that this right now won't mean anything to you by this weekend."
    "No," I say and let out a hard exhale, "this will still mean something." Something starts happening to me. A foreign feeling of suddenly wanting no one but Tiffany winds itself around my soul like a vine growing around a lamppost. I don't feel trapped but grounded, stable.
     I have to stop seeing Shauna after this weekend, I think sadly, not looking forward to hurting that sweet woman that deserves someone better than me.
     "What will it mean then?" Tiffany asks, bringing me back to the present moment.
     I've been thinking too much and not kissing her enough.

     She makes a little, surprise noise when I kiss her instead of answer her question. I plan on answering her question, but just not yet. I want to enjoy her mouth some more first.
     When I leave her lips to let her breathe, she reminds me, "What will it mean?"
     I answer her question with my lips on her throat, "It will mean a very nice memory to pull me through what will probably be a very trying weekend. It will mean something that I'll want to happen again, the sooner the better. It will mean that after a long time missing you, I got you back in my arms again, my Tiffany with the sapphire eyes that have captivated me since the first day."
     "Captivated?" she asks.
     Of all the things to pull out of my speech, she picks that, I think in an irritated fashion.
     "If I was so captivating," she continues, "then why did you need the others and still do?"
      Right now, the only one I 'need' is you.

     I quickly lift her hips and push her shoulders back, capturing both her wrists at the same time. My hips settle comfortably between her legs, and I silence her expected cry. She needs to learn just how I 'need' her, at least for the moment. I need her more than now, but I'll leave that up to my future self to handle later.
     She lets out a frustrated moan as I work my hips against her, and I know I'm chipping away that prudish, frigid persona of hers. I moan a plea.
     "Donovan," she whines while I give her body what it wants. Then, a vindictive gleam shows up in her eyes in addition to the hazy one put there by what I do to her, and she asks, "Does Willow like it when you do this to her too?"
     I go back through my memories and realize something. I don't think I've ever done this to Willow. Instead of saying that, I ask, "Willow who?" I have to smile when Tiffany angrily fights my hand holding her arms above her head.
     "Is that what you've said about me? 'Tiffany who?'"
     Still smiling, I answer her, "No. Nobody gets jealous like you do." I playfully run my nose down hers before lightly kissing her pouting lips. Suddenly, I remember I have a date with Willow tomorrow night, and I wonder how I can get out of it.
     Perhaps I could talk with Willow, and we could mutually agree to stop seeing each other. We haven't been seeing each other much lately anyway. For all I know, she's dating ten other guys in addition to me. She'll be fine.
     "I think you like me being jealous," she snarls.
     "Mhm. It's sexy, and it shows me you care," I say and run my hand up under her shirt.
     She sounds very sad when she says, "But you don't care."
     I look down into the most beautiful eyes on the planet and say, "I do care, probably more than I know."
     "Then prove it and get off me," she snaps.

     Smiling, I do as she asks and then help her sit up. I think it's funny how she looks like she might not have wanted me to stop doing what I was doing after all.
     "Is that better?" I ask facetiously, reading the struggle on her pretty face. Then I lean towards her and turn my nose into her hair, and I kiss that place behind her ear.
     "Why can't I stay away from you, Donovan?" she asks like a plea.
     I breathe in her scent before I say, "For the same reason I can't stay away from you."
     "No. You're just fine without me," she argues.
     "I don't think I was. You would call me or accidentally text me and throw everything out of balance for a while until I could recover," I tell her honestly and gently plant kisses on her neck.

    She pulls away so she can turn her head and look at me. "What am I doing? I should go. We can't make each other happy." She moves to stand, but I almost roughly pull her back to me.
     In explanation, I say, "Give... give me a little time, a very little time, before you walk away again."
     She shakes her head no. "You can't give me what I want."
     I jump headfirst into those beautiful eyes as I say, "I think I can. Give me time, Tiffany."
     She agrees but also says that she needs to leave for now. I sadly tell her goodnight at the front door.